Corpses in my office: Stop the madness

[Ivan Seeking]

Does anyone know how to get my cat to quit bringing dead or semi-dead little bodies into my office?

She is so proud of herself...

 

[arildno]

You could kill the cat?*



*Do not leave its corpse in the office!.

 

[Evo]

I know what you mean, I got a dead mole the other day. Oh, and cat vomit with grasshopper legs in it. I'll take the dead mole any day.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Bun has been catching grasshoppers and bringing them in, but she gulps them down in two bites.

 

[brewnog]

arildno beat me to it.

 

[Danger]

The success of my suggestion will depend entirely upon the nature of the cat. Set a specific place outside where offerings are to be left. Every time she brings you something, thank her and take it to that place. In time, she might start dropping them there on her own.

 

[scorpa]

I had a cat that used to catch mice and then proceed to carry it very proudly to our front door and deposit it at our feet...that did not amuse my mother. Another one that just had kittens brought in a gopher that was as big as she was in for them...poor little kittens had no idea what they were supposed to do with that. Not really sure how to stop them from doing it, other than maybe getting a little watergun and shooting them with it whenever they brought something in...I really doubt that would work though.

 

[Astronuc]

My wife found a dead baby mouse in the garage in the clothes she was sorting to do wash.

Occasionally we find a mouse in the kitchen, living room, bed room. I woke one night because Chester was meowing in an usual way, so I thought we was going to vomit. I got up and went over to him - he was crouched on the floor looking at what I thought was a sock. It was an unconscious mouse. So I picked up and tossed it into the back yard for the crows or owls to get.

Our dog Sassy, a Yorkshire terrier, manages to catch moles, chipmunks and within the last week, two birds (sparrows or house finches). So we have to let her out carefully. My wife had to retrieve half a bird from her a couple of weeks ago. Then Sassy vomited the other half.

 

[scorpa]

I was just talking to my parents on the phone and apparently one of our dogs, a Belgian Tervuren has an interesting new hobby - duck hunting. He goes out into the creek and swimmings over to a group of ducks, nabs one and has lunch. One time him and my other dog drug half a deer home...not really what we had in mind for a new lawn ornament. But the worst was when one of my cats got run over, my dad was in a hurry and rather than burying it or something he must have just tossed it into the field because the next thing we new there was a big ball of white fluff in the middle of the yard, we looked out and my sister said "Is that the cat?" ...turns out the puppy had brought his friend back home.

 

[hypatia]

You don't eat Bun's gifts? Kinda un-greatful if you ask me.

 

[franznietzsche]

You don't eat Bun's gifts? Kinda un-greatful if you ask me.

Seriously

 

[russ_watters]

Does anyone know how to get my cat to quit bringing dead or semi-dead little bodies into my office?

She is so proud of herself...

Ehh, just let her go - she'll be finished in a few weeks...

 

[Evo]

But the worst was when one of my cats got run over, my dad was in a hurry and rather than burying it or something he must have just tossed it into the field because the next thing we new there was a big ball of white fluff in the middle of the yard, we looked out and my sister said "Is that the cat?" ...turns out the puppy had brought his friend back home.

 

[Gokul43201]

You could kill the cat?*



*Do not leave its corpse in the office!.

Did the asterisk just go from a 6-pointed star to a 5-pointed star? Or has it always been that way?

 

[Evo]

Did the asterisk just go from a 6-pointed star to a 5-pointed star? Or has it always been that way?

I'm counting six points, but I need bifocals.

 

[franznietzsche]

Did the asterisk just go from a 6-pointed star to a 5-pointed star? Or has it always been that way?

Those have six points. Maybe you need stylish eyewear?

 

[Rach3]

Did the asterisk just go from a 6-pointed star to a 5-pointed star? Or has it always been that way?

*

 

[Gokul43201]

Maybe it's my browser...

 

[franznietzsche]

Maybe it's my browser...

Oh sure balme the software...

Its not a bug, its a feature!

Like the cat command.

 

[Evo]

Maybe it's my browser...

That's what I was wondering. riiight

 

[Gokul43201]

*

That's the biggest freakin' pentacle I've seen! Honest. You see 6 points?

Nevermind. Let's get back to them corpses, what?

 

[Gokul43201]

Oh sure balme the software...

What do you want - a screen capture?

 

[Evo]

What do you want - a screen capture?

uhm, yeah...

 

[Gokul43201]

Here you go, infidels!

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/2489/sshot1dz2.png

And before you get any smart aleck responses ready, be warned that I'm expecting them.

 

[franznietzsche]

Here you go, infidels! And before you get any smart aleck responses ready, be warned that I'm expecting them.

Its your display font, I think. Text looks slightly different from mine, so that would be my guess.

 

[chroot]

Serves you right for using Linux. You get one point off for that.

- Warren

 

[franznietzsche]

Serves you right for using Linux. You get one point off for that.

- Warren

Wait, huh? I'm using Linux can see it just fine, thank you.

 

[JamesU]

I normally se five points, now I'm seeing six

 

[Gokul43201]

Uh oh...it's a glitch in the matrix!

 

[Pythagorean]

Did the asterisk just go from a 6-pointed star to a 5-pointed star? Or has it always been that way?

sounds like a default/override font situation.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This has to be the most pathetic derailment I've ever seen.

 

[Rach3]

* * *

* * *

 

[Evo]

This has to be the most pathetic derailment I've ever seen.

What was this thread about?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I think the subject was toilet paper: Spool from the top or from the bottom?

 

[Evo]

I think the subject was toilet paper: Spool from the top or from the bottom?

It depends on whether your cat drags in dead animals. Yes - from the bottom. No - from the top.

Question - how long does it take a bored cat to completely unroll a new roll of toilet paper onto the bathroom floor? Then go crazy shreding it with their claws?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Question - how long does it take a bored cat to completely unroll a new roll of toilet paper onto the bathroom floor? Then go crazy shreding it with their claws?

Exactly as long as the cat decides it will take?

 

[Evo]

Exactly as long as the cat decides it will take?

Nope, it's is always in less time than it takes to discover and stop them. I need to do more studies. I will be publishing a paper soon in the peer reviewed journal Cat Astrophe.

 

[Gokul43201]

This has to be the most pathetic derailment I've ever seen.

Hey, I tried...

Nevermind. Let's get back to them corpses, what?

...sorta!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Hey, I tried...

...sorta!

Oh well, it doesn't take much here!

I was going to post a bad joke about Quantum Mechanics to explain Evo's problem with an unwatched cat, but since one didn't pop into my head, please note the effort and laugh accordingly.

 

[Moonbear]

It depends on whether your cat drags in dead animals. Yes - from the bottom. No - from the top.

Question - how long does it take a bored cat to completely unroll a new roll of toilet paper onto the bathroom floor? Then go crazy shreding it with their claws?

Well, if you get those large, industrial sized toilet paper rolls like they have in all the public restrooms now, and let the cat play with those, they might not have time to bring in as many dead animals. And if they do, at least you'll have plenty of toilet paper to wrap it in before you touch it!

Now, stop talking about unrolling toilet paper before Ember starts getting ideas! Someone else mentioned that in email to me tonight, and you know she reads along!

 

[Gokul43201]

I was going to post a bad joke about Quantum Mechanics to explain Evo's problem with an unwatched cat, but since one didn't pop into my head, please note the effort and laugh accordingly.

I was going to post a QM joke about the "semi-dead" things in your office, but I sensed you had a similar joke coming so I let it go.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

So far we have two jokes whose wavefunction has not collapsed. Do we have any more?

 

[franznietzsche]

So far we have two jokes whose wavefunction has not collapsed. Do we have any more?

That wasn't really that funny, but the guy in the next cubicle thought I was having a seizure.

 

[turbo]

So far we have two jokes whose wavefunction has not collapsed. Do we have any more?

Yes, but I dare not let you even have a glimpse, lest its wavefunction collapse. It is far too potent. I have only been able to contemplate it for seconds at a time, and only then when I am distracted by extremely loud techno music and have very large bulldog clips pinching my earlobes to keep me in constant pain. Such is the suffering that one must endure to create industrial-strength humor.