- #1
Zantra
- 791
- 3
This spawns from the Men mars/women venus post, and it reminded me of something I heard being dicussed the other day. I truly hope some women will post on this topic, though I haven't seen a lot of female participation in these types of topics. Could there be a reason?...
When you're in a long term relationship, A lot of times it's implied that your girlfriend/financee/wife/other(use your imagination) is your best friend, if not outright stated. However, as the wise come to know, women are not so different than men in a lot of aspects. We both have the same needs, wants, desires, and feelings-even if we each go about it differently. I'm about to generalize here, so bear with me. Keep in mind that there will be exceptions to every rule, so I'm not looking for those exceptions, but the general majority rule of thumb.
A lot of women will claim that you are their best friend. Men of course will reciprocate. So let's use this as an example. John comes home to Cindy one day, and he's just been at Bob's house. Bob's just told him that he's messing around on Jenny, who happens to be a friend of Cindy's. Now John, wanting to treat her like a best friend will tell her what's going on. Cindy will of course be shocked, but john swears her to secrecy, telling her that Bob can't know he betrayed his trust. So Cindy agrees to be Silent. So next thing you know, Cindy will be meeting up with the girls in the bathroom, and she won't directly say it, she'll be like "oh you should keep an eye on Bob. I'm not trying to say anything's wrong, but you should watch him" Next thing you know Cindy and Bob are over, Bob's mad as heck at John, and John's furious with his wife.
Now another scenario. Let's say the situation is reversed, and Jen is messing around on Bob. Well John will never hear of it. But you can be sure that all other girls will know about it. And then there's the "locker room talk- Yes it does happen with the girls, to varying degrees. So Who does Cindy complain about Bob(her supposed best friend) to? Well not to Bob. She'll go to her OTHER best friend. And that best friend will know everything there is to know about Bob- Every good point and bad point. Every time you had an arguement, every time you did something that ticked her off. Now if a best friend of the same sex did this- it would be the end of the friendship. But it happens on a daily basis with couples.
Now I know this to be true, both from first-hand experence and 2nd hand accounts. Though I didn't go through the exact scenarios above, I was in a situation where my GF was rattling every detail of our lives off, while holding things back from me. On the other hand it's been my personal experience and knowledge that guys don't do this. They won't go into deep detail about their personal lives. Some do, and I let them know I'm not comfortable with that. I'm speaking of course of guys over 20. Under 20, I know we're bad;)
Has anyone ever had this experience? Or would anyone care to comment on this? I'm especially intereedted in hearing the woman's perspective on this.
When you're in a long term relationship, A lot of times it's implied that your girlfriend/financee/wife/other(use your imagination) is your best friend, if not outright stated. However, as the wise come to know, women are not so different than men in a lot of aspects. We both have the same needs, wants, desires, and feelings-even if we each go about it differently. I'm about to generalize here, so bear with me. Keep in mind that there will be exceptions to every rule, so I'm not looking for those exceptions, but the general majority rule of thumb.
A lot of women will claim that you are their best friend. Men of course will reciprocate. So let's use this as an example. John comes home to Cindy one day, and he's just been at Bob's house. Bob's just told him that he's messing around on Jenny, who happens to be a friend of Cindy's. Now John, wanting to treat her like a best friend will tell her what's going on. Cindy will of course be shocked, but john swears her to secrecy, telling her that Bob can't know he betrayed his trust. So Cindy agrees to be Silent. So next thing you know, Cindy will be meeting up with the girls in the bathroom, and she won't directly say it, she'll be like "oh you should keep an eye on Bob. I'm not trying to say anything's wrong, but you should watch him" Next thing you know Cindy and Bob are over, Bob's mad as heck at John, and John's furious with his wife.
Now another scenario. Let's say the situation is reversed, and Jen is messing around on Bob. Well John will never hear of it. But you can be sure that all other girls will know about it. And then there's the "locker room talk- Yes it does happen with the girls, to varying degrees. So Who does Cindy complain about Bob(her supposed best friend) to? Well not to Bob. She'll go to her OTHER best friend. And that best friend will know everything there is to know about Bob- Every good point and bad point. Every time you had an arguement, every time you did something that ticked her off. Now if a best friend of the same sex did this- it would be the end of the friendship. But it happens on a daily basis with couples.
Now I know this to be true, both from first-hand experence and 2nd hand accounts. Though I didn't go through the exact scenarios above, I was in a situation where my GF was rattling every detail of our lives off, while holding things back from me. On the other hand it's been my personal experience and knowledge that guys don't do this. They won't go into deep detail about their personal lives. Some do, and I let them know I'm not comfortable with that. I'm speaking of course of guys over 20. Under 20, I know we're bad;)
Has anyone ever had this experience? Or would anyone care to comment on this? I'm especially intereedted in hearing the woman's perspective on this.
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