The addition you define is that which operates on subspaces of some given vector space. It isn't 'vector addition', it is addition of subspaces, perhaps even 'addition of vector subspaces'.
Anyway, I think you have a misconception about the (entirely different) subject of direct sum.
Why is direct sum not a binary operator on the category of vector spaces (or any other abelian category)? I'd be interested to hear why you think this, since it certainly is a binary operator, actually it can be an n-ary operator, or possibly even an A-operator for any integer n, or cardinal A.
Direct sum must take place in some ambient category, and it is never the case that V\oplus W is zero when V and W are non-zero in the category of vector spaces.
The direct sum of A and B is the smallest vector space containing both A and B as subspaces intersecting in 0 only.
It is the vector space analogue of disjoint union (coproduct), and I am perplexed by what "All we can say is either the statement is true or false" has to do with anything.