My position on "relativistic mass" in GR is that relativistic mass is one component of the stress-energy tensor, so it's not useful by itself but it's useful as part of a larger entity. Unfortunately, this observation may not be that helpful to someone who has no idea of what a tensor is. Hopefully it is useful to say that energy, momentum, and stress all contribute to something we call the stress-energy tensor,. The very name "stress energy tensor" seems to scare some readers. For such readers, one can omit using this technical term and simply say that energy, momentum, and stress all contribute to the gravitational field. I think this is understandable, but it seems hard to get people to accept. There are also occasional questions about what "stress" is, as well.
My impression is that people are very attached the idea of F=ma, and looking for some concept of "m" that they can stick into this equation and have it work in special and General relativity. This doesn't actually work, though. Several conceptual evolutions are needed to find the equations that do work. The first evolution involves the use of ordinary differential calculus, to replace the algebraic equation F=ma with the differential equation F=dp/dt. This, with a bit of supporting explanation, suffices for special relativity.
The next evolution involves moving on from ordinary differential equations to partial differential equations. Tensors can be viewed as a way of organizing partial differntial equations, but this obsrevation doesn't help if one isn't familiar with partial differential equations.
My impression though is that even the first step is a hurdle for a lot of readers of PF - they know their algebra, but switching to a calculus based approach loses them. I could be wrong, it's hard to guess what someone does and does not understand from reading their replies to posts, but that's the working conclusion I've come to. Nobody (and I'd have to include myself) really wants to talk about what they don't know. There is also the difficulty that when one doesn't understand something, one doesn't necessarily know what one is missing.