Fun with Answering Machines

  • Thread starter LURCH
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  • #1
LURCH
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I'm sure most of us have, at one time or another, thought of silly greetings to leave on our answering machine. I have recently come up with one that I wish to share. I would also like to know if anyone here is the legal expertise to tell me whether or not I can legally enforce the following message:

Hi, this is Brian. Thank you for calling Cash-Tone ServicesTM. Attention telemarketers: for all unsolicited sales calls, this service charges a $5,000 fee for the playing of the following Tone. By staying on the line until the sound of the Tone, 10 seconds from now, you are agreeing to accept this charge. All other callers, please leave a message at the sound of the Tone. Thank you and have a nice day .


Now, I actually look forward to checking my messages with great anticipation, hoping I received a sales call from a telemarketer!

I'm guessing some of the "quirky" minds in this community have come up with some fairly non-standard answering machine greetings. Let's hear them!
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
photon
124
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Just came up with this one a few seconds ago.

Hello, you've reached Corey at (phone number). By staying on the line after the tone, you have agreed that you are an idiotic loco that isn't worth the oxygen. You're phone number will be recorded onto Caller ID under "Ignore". The tone will sound in 5 seconds. Have a nice day.
 
  • #3
Monique
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I used to have the following message on my answering machine:

'With Monique! ... Hello? ... Hello!? ... I can't hear you! Are you there? HELLO?? ... Well, then just leave a message after the tone.' *beep*

Evil isn't it? you get some pretty interesting messages that way :wink:
 
  • #4
wasteofo2
478
2
Record a regular message, I'm not here leave a messege etc. Instead of finishing though, play a loud beeping tone into the machine. Wait about 2 or 3 seconds and then, while still recording, act as though you just picked up the phone after the tone had rung, and apologize for being so late in a different tone of voice than you left the message. It plays out like this.

Me: "Hi, this is Jacob, I'm not home right now, leave a messege after the beep. BEEEEEP."
Caller: "Hey jacob, just wanted to(Bam, they're cut off by me)
Me: (still part of the recording, unbeknownced to the caller) Hey, sorry I got to the phone late, I was just using the bathroom. (Pause to allow response).
Caller: Begins response, is again interrupted by the recording.
Me: (interrupting) I was just kidding, I wasn't in the bathroom, this is still a recording, leave a messege now.
 
  • #5
Janus
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Here's one to use when you are home to answer the phone:

" Hi, you've reached the phone of "*****". I'm not here right now, so just leave a mess... Oh, wait, I just walked in, hold on. "

You then pick up.
 

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