How comfortable are you with talking about sex?

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The discussion centers on the comfort level of individuals when it comes to talking about sex, both in general and within personal relationships. Many participants express varying degrees of openness, with some feeling comfortable discussing sex academically or with close friends, while others prefer to keep personal details private. The conversation touches on societal taboos surrounding sex, suggesting that cultural upbringing plays a significant role in shaping attitudes toward discussing sexual topics. Some participants highlight the importance of open communication about sex in relationships, arguing that partners should be able to discuss their experiences and preferences candidly. Others note that discussing sex can be enlightening, but discretion is necessary to respect privacy. The topic of discussing sex with parents is also explored, with many expressing discomfort in such conversations due to familial dynamics or cultural expectations. Overall, the thread reveals a spectrum of comfort levels regarding sexual discussions, influenced by personal experiences and societal norms.
KingNothing
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How open is a discussion about sex for the people here? I don't mean just on the forums, I mean in general: how comfortable are you with talking about sex?
 
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I don't think I'm typical. All of my research relates at least in some way to reproduction and reproductive behavior, so I talk about sex all the time. Thus, I'm quite comfortable talking about it. That doesn't mean I readily share personal details, but the subject in general is one I have no problem discussing.
 
Wow, that's pretty cool. I'm not an expert in biology, but I do like looking at it from a biological perspective as well as, you know...the other perspective.
 
I readily share personal details with a group of REALLY close friends. But outside the circle (and within), i readily talk about sex too.
 
Well there was this one time I was porkin this real fine broad, just going at it like two animals in heat and...

:-p
 
I have no prob discussing sex academically. As for my personal experiences, I've never had friends of a type with which that I would discuss such things.

Was there something you wanted to discuss, KN?

You'd probably get a lot of static from many posters, but a core group would surely try their best to have a serious discussion.
 
My private life is my private life. I don't discuss it.
 
Sure I discuss sex all the time. I wonder why it's generally such a "taboo" subject, or at least an uncomfortable one. Maybe we are taught from birth to think that way? They say a woman reaches her sexual peak when she's around 30, not because of hormones but rather because it takes them that long to loosen up and be able to be free with their sexuality because they are taught from such a young age that sex is bad or shameful. Not sure I entirely agree with all that, but it's interesting nonetheless.
 
Sex is immoral just like downloading free music
 
  • #10
Pseudopod said:
Sure I discuss sex all the time. I wonder why it's generally such a "taboo" subject, or at least an uncomfortable one. Maybe we are taught from birth to think that way? They say a woman reaches her sexual peak when she's around 30, not because of hormones but rather because it takes them that long to loosen up and be able to be free with their sexuality because they are taught from such a young age that sex is bad or shameful. Not sure I entirely agree with all that, but it's interesting nonetheless.

Who is this "they" you refer to?
 
  • #11
It's a myth. There was a study long ago in the 50s and 60s done that said women reached their sexual peak in their 30s but it really probably just found that because of how society changed at the time.

And no, there wasn't anything in specific I wanted to talk about, I just was thinking how its good to be open about such things in a relationship.
 
  • #12
KingNothing said:
How open is a discussion about sex for the people here? I don't mean just on the forums, I mean in general: how comfortable are you with talking about sex?
I think this is a very interesting question - from the cultural anthropology perspective, at least. I had to think hard about who I will and will not speak openly with about sex. I won't talk about it with my parents and certain older relatives.

This made me think about which family members are culturally taboo as far as participating in this kind of discussion. I think my sister and I could probably have these discussions when she is older, but I don't ever want to talk about sex with my brothers.
 
  • #13
I have no desire to talk publicly about whipped cream and chains. Just not going to go there.
 
  • #14
For a lot of you here commenting, remember this is a question for those who have done it.

For me, I'm pretty comfortable talking about it. I just won't give details about me and my gf.

I don't see the big deal. If you suck, you suck.
 
  • #15
I am quite open and comfortable with the subject.
 
  • #16
Ivan Seeking said:
I have no desire to talk publicly about whipped cream and chains. Just not going to go there.
I would have believed that about you, Ivan. But never Saintly Tsu. o:)
 
  • #17
Ivan Seeking said:
I have no desire to talk publicly about whipped cream and chains. Just not going to go there.

Like I said, I don't talk about personal details. :smile:

JasonRox said:
For a lot of you here commenting, remember this is a question for those who have done it.

Nothing in the question implied it's only for those who have done it. I would hope people are able to talk about sex before they do it, otherwise they aren't going to be ready for it, either in terms of expectations, emotions, or disease/pregnancy prevention as applicable.
 
  • #18
Math Is Hard said:
I would have believed that about you, Ivan. But never Saintly Tsu. o:)

You did see how much she enjoyed the tribdog torture thread, didn't you? :bugeye: :smile:
 
  • #19
I'm open to talking about details, but only with someone mature. Like as in, they won't say "dude, sweet, how was she?" and stuff like that. But giving advice is fun. And yes, I'm a firm believer that if two people in a relationship aren't ready to talk about something, they certianly aren't ready to do it.
 
  • #20
Oh, for Pete's sake! Is there anyone who DOESN't enjoy torturing tribdog? That alone is worth the annual contribution.
 
  • #21
KingNothing said:
I'm open to talking about details, but only with someone mature. Like as in, they won't say "dude, sweet, how was she?" and stuff like that. But giving advice is fun. And yes, I'm a firm believer that if two people in a relationship aren't ready to talk about something, they certianly aren't ready to do it.

Yes, you're right. If they aren't comfortable talking about things, they shouldn't do it.

No offense, but all the advice I have ever heard was terrible. From experience (not many), that all girls are different and in some cases completely different.

You should never say what is good. You should always say what you can try. I learned my lesson on that one.
 
  • #22
KingNothing said:
I'm a firm believer that if two people in a relationship aren't ready to talk about something, they certianly aren't ready to do it.
Very good point. I think a couple that intend to or are engaging in sex need to be able to discuss it openly between themselves. It is no one elses business though.

When other people want to discuss their sex lives with me I find myself wondering why. If they have a problem and are honestly seeking advice, that's one thing, if they just want to talk about it, I wonder what is so lacking in their personal lives that they feel they need affirmation from me.
 
  • #23
JasonRox said:
Yes, you're right. If they aren't comfortable talking about things, they shouldn't do it.

No offense, but all the advice I have ever heard was terrible. From experience (not many), that all girls are different and in some cases completely different.

You should never say what is good. You should always say what you can try. I learned my lesson on that one.
Jason, I'm impressed with you too. I didn't realize you guys had this level of maturity.
 
  • #24
Evo said:
Jason, I'm impressed with you too. I didn't realize you guys had this level of maturity.

We will take that as a compliment.

One of the best a guy can get. :biggrin:
 
  • #25
JasonRox said:
We will take that as a compliment.

One of the best a guy can get. :biggrin:
Definitely a compliment!
 
  • #26
JasonRox said:
No offense, but all the advice I have ever heard was terrible. From experience (not many), that all girls are different and in some cases completely different.

You should never say what is good. You should always say what you can try. I learned my lesson on that one.

That's very true, and an important lesson to have learned.
 
  • #27
Yeah, girls vary extremely. What I meant for advice is on trying things. I never give bad advice. Ever.
 
  • #28
I'm usually very comfortable talking about sex. But sometimes I'm reserved because of the way people respond. It usually depends on the company. I actually think its a really interesting topic, just because it varies so much from person to person. Course, personally i prefer to talk about Mental Sex, but eh, that's just me.
 
  • #29
Do you mean the mental aspect of sex, imagining sex in your head, or a sort of simulation 'virtual reality' sex?
 
  • #30
KingNothing said:
Do you mean the mental aspect of sex, imagining sex in your head, or a sort of simulation 'virtual reality' sex?

hehe... it was actually a thread i started a while ago, and i didn't quite come to a conclusion as to what i meant. Just sex with an emphasized mental aspect to it eh?
 
  • #31
So, you still don't know what it means?
 
  • #32
KingNothing said:
How open is a discussion about sex for the people here? I don't mean just on the forums, I mean in general: how comfortable are you with talking about sex?

I've talked with friends about sex while eating lunch. I'd say I'm pretty comfortable with it. Some of us stopped eating after telling sex horror tales. :smile:
 
  • #33
I'll talk to anyone about anything... unless that anyone is my parents, then the topics become strictly limited.
 
  • #34
Hmm, it depends. With a certain type of people, I'm usually quite open with it. These are people whose opinion I respect, and who I know can have a decent conversation about it. With being decent I mean being frank about without delving to much into the other's privacy. It's sometimes enlightening to talk about certain aspects.
After all, about many things we do we like to get an opinion of somonene else when we're in doubt. I don't think sex should be any different.

Where close friends are concerned, it depends. I have a few friends (both male and female) who tell me just about anything. Then others do not like to touch on the subject. It's just a matter of personal taste and upbringing. I'm ok with it, as long as they are. If they don't think it is a fitting conversation topic, I'll stay out of it.

While I think the taboo about sex is ridiculous, I do not expect of everyone to feel the same way about it. And even if you take it without the taboo, it is still an important thing in anyones life, and should not be blabbered about lightly.
 
  • #35
"Originally Posted by Ivan Seeking
I have no desire to talk publicly about whipped cream and chains. Just not going to go there. "

Arrrgghhh my eysesss... it burrrnsssssss...
 
  • #36
Smurf said:
I'll talk to anyone about anything... unless that anyone is my parents, then the topics become strictly limited.

I talk to my mum and dad about sex any time they ask me. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, but its not a taboo subject to me at all. Its important they have an idea what I'm doing anyways. If there were only two people i ought to about sex with its me mum and the boy I'm doing the deed with.
 
  • #37
I can discuss it with my friends easily.But not with my parents or relatives.
 
  • #38
Gale17 said:
I talk to my mum and dad about sex any time they ask me. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, but its not a taboo subject to me at all. Its important they have an idea what I'm doing anyways. If there were only two people i ought to about sex with its me mum and the boy I'm doing the deed with.
My parents were the overbearing type and I still don't tell them much I don't have to.
 
  • #39
russ_watters said:
My parents were the overbearing type and I still don't tell them much I don't have to.

Funny how that goes with parents. I don't discuss sex with my parents, even in general, biological, purely scientific, impersonal terms, because, frankly, it makes them uncomfortable, especially my mom (my step-dad isn't so uptight, but since mom always hovers around conversations, it's still better to just keep quiet around her). I know she knows what goes on and she didn't mind talking so much when my sister was in college and mom didn't approve of her boyfriend visiting her at the dorms, but it was entirely spoken of in a disapproving tone. What can I say, my mom even gets antsy if I'm talking about breeding cattle or horses.

But, I guess I treat it like any other topic. If it makes someone else uncomfortable to talk about it, I don't discuss it with them, unless they are one of my students, and need to learn the biology of it.
 
  • #40
Moonbear said:
...I know she knows what goes on and she didn't mind talking so much when my sister was in college and mom didn't approve of her boyfriend visiting her at the dorms, but it was entirely spoken of in a disapproving tone. What can I say, my mom even gets antsy if I'm talking about breeding cattle or horses.

But, I guess I treat it like any other topic. If it makes someone else uncomfortable to talk about it, I don't discuss it with them, unless they are one of my students, and need to learn the biology of it.

haha, my mum was really uncomfortable with it at first. She tried to give me the "protection" talk, and i went into ask all sorts of questions, and described my own experiences, and then when we were done, i just hopped up and said thanks mum and walked away. Later she and my sister were talking, and she was like "i should've just done the thing with the flowers..."

she also was really uncomfortable when i first got a boyfriend. I guess I'm a little bit of a trouble maker, and i was just always pushing the limits. eventually we could shut the door... then he could stay the night as long as it was a different floor. Then he could stay on the same floor, different rooms, then same room different beds... then don't ask, don't tell...
 
  • #41
Moonbear said:
Funny how that goes with parents. I don't discuss sex with my parents, even in general, biological, purely scientific, impersonal terms, because, frankly, it makes them uncomfortable, especially my mom (my step-dad isn't so uptight, but since mom always hovers around conversations, it's still better to just keep quiet around her). I know she knows what goes on and she didn't mind talking so much when my sister was in college and mom didn't approve of her boyfriend visiting her at the dorms, but it was entirely spoken of in a disapproving tone. What can I say, my mom even gets antsy if I'm talking about breeding cattle or horses.

But, I guess I treat it like any other topic. If it makes someone else uncomfortable to talk about it, I don't discuss it with them, unless they are one of my students, and need to learn the biology of it.

The real mystery is...

...where did Moonbear come from? :confused:
 
  • #42
JasonRox said:
The real mystery is...

...where did Moonbear come from? :confused:

The stork brought me...or was it that I was found in a cabbage patch...no wait, aliens left an egg on the doorstep. Yeah, I think that sounds most likely. :smile:

Obviously my mom knows what sex is about, even once admitted it can be fun, but then quickly changed the subject again. Once all the obligatory birth control, abstinence, relationship talks were done with, there was no more discussion.
 
  • #43
Moonbear said:
The stork brought me...or was it that I was found in a cabbage patch...no wait, aliens left an egg on the doorstep. Yeah, I think that sounds most likely. :smile:

Obviously my mom knows what sex is about, even once admitted it can be fun, but then quickly changed the subject again. Once all the obligatory birth control, abstinence, relationship talks were done with, there was no more discussion.

I'd rather have a mom that is not comfortable with it. My mom is pretty open, which is disgusting and creepy.

Note: Big ERROR.
 
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  • #44
JasonRox said:
I'd rather have a mom that isn't uncomtable with it. My mom is pretty open, which is disgusting and creepy.
Sex is not a topic that I can discuss with my mom. It would be like discussing sex with Mother Teresa. Here's my sex talk with my mom - "Men won't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free". I'm serious, that was it, and she was embarrassed to say that. But my mother was raised in a Convent. Her parents got divorced when she was very young and neither wanted to be tied down, so she was placed there.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I had my sister tell her, and I was married!
 
  • #45
misogynisticfeminist said:
I readily share personal details with a group of REALLY close friends. But outside the circle (and within), i readily talk about sex too.
When I've had too much to drink, me too! :-p Just kiddin'

Jokes and generalities are normal and nothing to get uptight about. Discussions with those who are close can be more candid when there is cause and/or mutual interest in discussing the topic, but discretion is a good policy especially out of respect for your partner.
 
  • #46
I think I exhausted the possibilities of sex talk several years ago and it isn't even an interesting topic to me at this point.
 
  • #47
Seems like a good place to say one of my favorite quotes:

"Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it." - R. Feynman

It has all the properties of a good quote: it references sex, it's humorous, and it's TRUE!
 
  • #48
Originally posted by KingNothing:
how comfortable are you with talking about sex?
My boyfriend and I are enjoying the dirty talk, we do it all the while, and it has spiced up our sex life and made it really erotic. :smile:
 
  • #49
Masturbation is to sex what math is to physics - R. Feynman
 
  • #50
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking:
Masturbation is to sex what math is to physics - R. Feynman
The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that masturbating at home is not an offence, even if the activity can be seen by peeking neighbours. :smile:
 

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