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I need some socialising lesson

  1. Dec 2, 2004 #1
    ok every1, i admit it, i have a hard time approaching girls, its just the first confrontation that bugs me the most. theres this girl in our math lab that i see all the time, i noticed her noticing me also, but i just dont know what to tell her when i approach her...what does anyone suggest?
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 2, 2004 #2
    We've been getting alot of these threads lately. My personal favourite line is 'My mind short circuits every time I want to talk to you'
    Really though, if she wants you, it's pretty easy you just have to ask her about herself and carry on from there.
  4. Dec 3, 2004 #3
    :tongue2: Sounds like a real pro Smurf, when are you going to show us your "catch"?
  5. Dec 3, 2004 #4


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    There's plenty of good (and bad) advice (1164 posts worth of advice) in the Girl Trouble thread.
  6. Dec 3, 2004 #5


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    And don't forget this thread: Best Chat up lines

  7. Dec 3, 2004 #6
    just ask her if she wants to go out for dinner sometime....if she says no at least you know you tried...if she says yes then you didnt miss anything
  8. Dec 3, 2004 #7
    Think he has time to read all that?
  9. Dec 4, 2004 #8
    Ok, here is some of my tactics that i was using to improve myself " I am now in a good level" but every body born with total 00.000 level in these issues..

    I put my watch in my pocket, set next to her and as k her about the time [at least 5 second talk, ask the question in a loooong sentence] and then make sure from here when the class time ends exaclty, you are not dum, but you just make sure that your info's are ture....

    You can sit next to her, "Forget" you pencil which it is in your bag, ask her normally about one, then start a topic about stationary [does she likes pens, pencils more, favourite pen colo/ trade mark...etc]

    These ones IF you are having some issues in starting any thing with her, after wards, start following more developed tactics.

    I will stop until here, since i never properly tried but with one girl, my girlfriend and it works these first steps to "break the ice".

    I guess Dr. Chrono has good staff. Arent you Chrono?
  10. Dec 4, 2004 #9
    I think this is the best advice so far. If you send the right signals and she responds, then it is just a matter of going up to her and start talking. My favorite signal i like to test first is just to stare into her eyes deeply until you catch her eyes, she will either turn away quickly or stare back at you. Usually when they stare back at you for a long time, it's probably a sign that she wants you to stay away because she's actually threatening you to stay away from her :rofl: . And if she turns away quickly, it could be a good sign or bad sign. If she is very conscience of you, then it's a good sign she's interested, espeically if she glances over to you several times. If she turns away quickly and moves her body in another direction, then that's probably a sign she's not interested. If they aren't interested, then i suggest not approaching them, unless you're a really good charmer. If she is, it's just a matter of just talking to her, it could be anything really, but try to keep it to something you can relate to, like if you're in the same class, talk about the class or something, everything should run smoothly after that unless she figures out she doesn't really like you :tongue2:

    and i forgot to mention, when you do that test you gotta apporach them as soon as possible or else they'd get tired of waiting for you :tongue:
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2004
  11. Dec 4, 2004 #10


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    Depends on just how much socialization trouble he's having, or how desperate he is to get this girl! :rofl:
  12. Dec 4, 2004 #11
    Well you know these things typically happen when you go over and say hi, ask how her day's been. Then if you're not ambitious enough for dinner etc ask if she wants to grab a cup of coffee (or something similar) after the lab. Rather innocent request, really, because I gather you don't really see her outside class so she can choose to interpret however she wishes.
    Now if only a thread could be started for girls regarding guys...
  13. Dec 4, 2004 #12
    I cant believe that you talked about stationary moses! Thats really quite awful, just sit down next to her and have a chat about whatever is going on in the lesson and as and when you become comfortable chatting to her you can start asking questions about her, what she likes, dislikes and so on. And if you still like her after that ask her out for a drink, i know it seems really difficult but trust me its just like riding a bike.
  14. Dec 5, 2004 #13
    Dude, answering in "awful" way: I was speaking about stationary, i was peaking about watches and stationary :biggrin:

    hahaha, You understand me wrong Andy, of course doing this all the time is too bad, but i mean as a "practise" the first thing should be a shoet conv, or even too short. You know a good short conversation id better that 20min one the ruin it up in the 3min since you start speaking as a fool or
    "run out badly..."

    Yes, and i am saying it again : YES! Start from easy and fast conv to see that its not a big challenge even it could look like, then you can start later in longer and longer chats [Andy's ones here are a good example for "next level after the ABC one" , too long ones from the beginning might not be good, since she could be not ready for them and because she is polite she dont want to conversation to stop in a sharp way.

    Still, I am human, i am not perfect, thus i can be wrong :smile:
  15. Dec 5, 2004 #14
    This site helps me out. At least it tries.
  16. Dec 5, 2004 #15
    no don't use a "line", just talk to her like she's any other person. actually if you use a line, make it a really good one, like "i'm big brother, i've been watching you"

    yeah that sounds better; just go over there & ask her what she's working on. that will get the ball rolling. i wouldn't ask her out out of the blue though unless she says she's hungry, thirsty, etc then i'd ask her if she wants to go get food.

    re: what herb said I've got an article here, "communicating intentions through nonverbal behaviours: conscious & unconscious encoding of liking" by mark palmer & karl simmons published in Human Communication Research vol.22 #1 1995 pp. 128-160
    they found that gazing & smiling are the two most reliable indicators of liking. then there is nodding & forward lean; those are good too. if she doesn't do any of those things, and/or starts fidgiting you better get away quickly, or else... :tongue:
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2004
  17. Dec 5, 2004 #16
    lol it's about time for a girl/guy advice forum under general discussion
  18. Dec 5, 2004 #17
    I second that! It will be my place to go when I need girl help, which is nearly everyday.
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2004
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