Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

Is she acting like this because of disinterest or likes me?

  1. She likes me but is shy

    1 vote(s)
  2. She does not like me but probably knows i like her

    1 vote(s)
  1. Oct 22, 2015 #1
    There's this girl, we go to the same college and met at the beginning of this summer when we both were taking summer classes there. I don't see her all that often, especially after the fall semester started. At first, when we met at the library, we sat close to each other and talked quite a bit, and this went on two more times over the next 2 weeks at the library and we seemed to get along quite well. After that, we stopped seeing each other for a while, since we don't actually share classes or anything. Two weeks later, we ran into each other at the grocery store, and when we were standing really close to each other and looked at each other, she smiled and looked down, then walked away, so I thought she probably she doesn't like me for whatever reason and left it at that. Otherwise, I figured, she would've at least said a hi since we talked a bit and got along pretty well, and we should be considered friendly acquaintances if nothing more. A week after that though, I saw her leaving the library, and this time she stopped by and talked to me for a few minutes before she left, so from that I doubt that she actually dislikes me. About 2 weeks later, I went to a guest speaker lecture and it turned she was there too. When we took our seats but before the lecture started, I noticed that she turned her head and looked at me, twice, but didn't say hi or acknowledge me either time even though our seats were close enough. After the lecture, we lined up to get free food from the event and I saw her walking towards me then passing right by me but completely avoiding any eyecontact towards me. However, when I started eating, she walked behind me and said hi to me, and when I turned around, she was already walking away and approaching to talk to someone else. About a week or 2 later, we passed by each other on the street (in opposite directions) once, and I saw her smiling but looking down as she approached but didn't say anything or acknwoledge me. A few days after that, we ran into each other at the intersection walking in the same direction. She finally said hi to me, asked how my birthday was (she knew since we are facebookfriends by now), but after we're done talking about my birthday, I try to talk to her about other stuff and all of a sudden her she turned incredibly awkward and started answering me in short one word responses. We then walked together quietly for a bit before she abruptly said bye to me and went into a store.

    So all of this seems like positive signs to me that she likes me but is just shy.

    BUT, when I approach to talk to her on facebook, she gave really short responses. First time, right before class started for the fall semester, I asked her how the week before went, since it was the week between summer session and fall semester and she went home and went on vacation. Her replies were very curt and didn't make an effort to keep the conversation going. So I thought she might be busy or something. A few days later, I decided to ask her how her semester was going, again very short reply, and then when I asked her what classes she's taking, it was marked as "seen" but she never responded.

    I haven't ran into her once on campus since fall semester started.

    Now, one thing I realize is that girls can act weird and awkward around guys for 2 almost polar opposite reasons. Either she is doing so because she likes you but is shy, or she knows you like her but is not interested. In her case, the facebook messages seem to imply that she's not interested, as curt messages online seem to be a good indicator for disinterest. But if she was really disinterested but just trying to do the minimum to be polite, why would she go up behind me and say hi to me from there when I can't even see her? Yet it's so hard for her to say hi to me when we see each other (like literally, when we're in each other's line of sight). And I saw her smiling and looking down when we passed once,which I also know is an indicator that she might like me, though of course, it's possible she was thinking of something else.

    I do plan on asking her out around next week since I saw on facebook that she's going to an event that I'm also going. I'm going to ask her out after that event. So yes, I do know exactly what needs to be done, but before then, I would still like to get a good idea of where she most likely stands.

    There probably isn't a definitive answer without asking, but do you guys think that more likely than not she
    A. likes me but is shy
    B. awkward around me because she doesn't like me back (but probably somehow knew i like her)?

    Please answer my poll above and respond if you have additional thoughts. Thanks everyone!
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 22, 2015 #2


    Staff: Mentor

    There is no need for a poll, you already know the answer. A poll will only encourage you to overthink the situation.

    She showed interest and then you showed interest and now you realize that there's a good chance she'll go out with you. If not then once again you know the answer.

    Have a nice dinner; see a nice movie that she'll like; and go on from there.
Share this great discussion with others via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook