I'm finally coming out of the closet, atheism I mean.

  • #1
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My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
 

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  • #2
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Well I would like to say you should expect to be treated the same way you've always been treated. Your parents should, in my mind, be the last people on the planet you should feel weird or afraid to admit something to.

Just make sure you do it in a way that does not offend whatever they may believe and perhaps even make some compromises if they press the point. For instance attending church for events won't effect your beliefs but it may help them?

Good luck, if you need any help or any problems arise don't be afraid to shout.
 
  • #3
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Did the universe come about by its own will?
 
  • #4
Pengwuino
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Talk to your mother first? And treat them the way you'd like to be treated. One of the things that people always do when it comes to matters like these is feel like they're smarter than the other people they're dealing with. Don't spout off "you guys are idiots, there is no God, I HATE YOU" :biggrin:While it may or may not be a serious issue for you, it could be an almost all-important issue to them so treat it as such.
 
  • #5
Ivan Seeking
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My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
Without knowing what church they attend, it is pretty tough to guess at their reaction, but I would expect that your dad especially will be worried about your immortal soul. He may well believe that this is his last chance to save his child from eternal damnation. He may also think that you are too young to make this decision for yourself. He may get very angry. He may be very afraid for you.

My mother was a devout Catholic. I dropped out of the church at about age 13, but the Catholics believe a child of 13 is an adult in the church and capable of making their own decisions in this regard, so my mother respected that.
 
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  • #6
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My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
Without knowing your parents, it's impossible to tell. I was a few years older than you when I came out as an atheist (maybe 16? I can't remember), and I could tell my mother was upset with me, but she didn't yell or anything like that. Even today (I'm 28 now), my religious family members will occasionally make a snide comment about my atheism, or they'll say something religious, almost daring me to respond. My mother's side of the family is Catholic, by the way.

Lets just hope something like this doesn't happen:

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK LANGUAGE


EDIT: Removed the embedded video, because there's profanity in the title that shows up. Apologies for that.
 
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  • #7
Char. Limit
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Without knowing your parents, it's impossible to tell. I was a few years older than you when I came out as an atheist (maybe 16? I can't remember), and I could tell my mother was upset with me, but she didn't yell or anything like that. Even today (I'm 28 now), my religious family members will occasionally make a snide comment about my atheism, or they'll say something religious, almost daring me to respond. My mother's side of the family is Catholic, by the way.

Lets just hope something like this doesn't happen:

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK LANGUAGE


EDIT: Removed the embedded video, because there's profanity in the title that shows up. Apologies for that.
Aaaand I think that video just turned me athiest. Thanks for posting it.
 
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  • #8
Ivan Seeking
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Aaaand I think that video just turned me athiest. Thanks for posting it.
Oh please, you were already an atheist if it only took a 30 second video of strangers to make up your mind. That, or your beliefs are so easily changed it boggles the mind.
 
  • #9
Char. Limit
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Oh please, you were already an atheist if it only took a 30 second video of strangers to make up your mind.
It was somewhat of a joke, but I'm not exactly Christian. I think I count as agnostic right now, so I guess I am near-athiest.
 
  • #10
lisab
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That video is really heartbreaking. I felt like grabbing that kid and hugging him, telling him it's ok. That's the mom in me, I guess. Well I'm atheist, too :wink:.

LogicalAcid, what's the reason you want to bring this up with your parents right now?
 
  • #11
Borek
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That's the mom in me
There was a mom in her as well, I suppose.
 
  • #12
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What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
There's no way to tell without knowing your parents. They could be very accepting and allow you to your own beliefs and values, or they could completely disown you as their child. I've seen the latter happen way to often.

Welcome to the club. :approve:
 
  • #13
turbo
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My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
I was about your age when I refused to keep attending church or Sunday school, though the rebellion had been building for a few years. I was raised Roman-Catholic, and there was an injuction on members to attend mass at least weekly, so it was a big deal for my mother to deal with. Still, she was my mother. I'd attend weddings and funerals, Midnight mass, etc, but regular attendance was out.

You might also want to examine your motivations and beliefs before confronting your parents. I never had the motivation to actively disavow the existence of a god (atheism), and believed that agnosticism was the best way to describe my "relationship" to a deity. Not that I have personal doubts, but that I believe that man cannot know some of the things that fascinate us.

Good luck!
 
  • #14
Evo
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The way normal atheists view atheisim is that atheists just lack belief in supernatural beings that require worship. So, I'm very comfortable with that.

Logical, good luck, the advice to be non-confrontational is good advice. I was 11 when I told my mother I no longer believed in the church and didn't want to attend mass anymore. But then my mom, although being extremely devout, was very col about things. Good luck to you.
 
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  • #15
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There's no way to tell without knowing your parents. They could be very accepting and allow you to your own beliefs and values, or they could completely disown you as their child. I've seen the latter happen way to often.
Or they could try to perform an exorcism.
 
  • #16
turbo
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Or they could try to perform an exorcism.
Ooh - BAD! :devil:
 
  • #19
My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.

I'm not reading the following post yet, but I'm arbitrarily assuming you got a house of quarrel and trouble ahead.
 
  • #20
Any way, don't provoke your parents, how's your relationship with your dad? If it is great, then I guess everything should work out fine. If it is painful, then... boy it's gonna get complicated. He would think you became an atheist not because you find religions meaningless and empty, but because you hate him and trying to upset him. I got a friend that pretty much went on this path, and hasn't got any better yet.

Just don't confront them until you are old enough if you ask me.
 
  • #21
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That video is really heartbreaking. I felt like grabbing that kid and hugging him, telling him it's ok. That's the mom in me, I guess. Well I'm atheist, too :wink:.

LogicalAcid, what's the reason you want to bring this up with your parents right now?
I feel if I don't tell her, first of all I want to be honest with my parents, because they are always honest with me. Secondly, if I don't I will be sent to a college high school and college. I want to study Chemistry and Physics, the catholic universities are very disclosed on that.
 
  • #22
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The atheism talk won't go so well.

My dad will most likely be very scared for me. He makes constant references about "I don't want you to suffer eternal damnation" and then above all,he always says he loves God more than anyone. Even me and my sister. This is the reason that I believe the confrontation would go very bad with him. My mom I told, she is agnostic as I just figured out. Then there is my friends. I would be exiled from my school, due to it being small it would spread quick. That and my relationship with the class as whole isn't very good, and I know some people would resort to physical violence, using me being atheist as an excuse. My school apparently has a ''right to discriminate" due to in being private, and I fear they might expel me if I told. My dad again may become blindly angered, he is a very strict orthodox Christian, and would without a doubt lash out in some physical way, he takes his religion above his love for me and my siblings, and he may take it not as an insult to him, but to his God. This is going to be a long arduous process.
 
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  • #23
Evo
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I feel if I don't tell her, first of all I want to be honest with my parents, because they are always honest with me. Secondly, if I don't I will be sent to a college high school and college. I want to study Chemistry and Physics, the catholic universities are very disclosed on that.
You should not wait, you should broach the subject in a non-confrontational way. It might take a series of small discussions, so you should start now.

Have you ever had any conversations with them about how you feel about what you are getting/not getting from going to church? Can you tell them that it has nothing to do with them or their beliefs, it is you. Your beliefs, your desire to go into science, the schools you'd like to attend.

Let them know that you're not shutting them out but would like their support and input in *your* studies and career.
 
  • #24
chiro
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My parents are both religious, my dad is very hard-core, my mom not so much. What should I expect,and by the way I am 14.
Dude if they do not accept you're viewpoint and perspective, I would question their values and so called "religion". If they want to avoid being hypocritical and believing their religion is "what they believe in", then they should be accepting of what you believe in.

If you're parents give a **** about you, they will probably get into a conversation or maybe a debate and hear you're side of the story and appropriately respond. If they just ridicule you or go on some stupid rant about their beliefs, then it just shows how clueless and ignorant they are, but I'm afraid its a two way street: you have to listen to their point of view just like they have to listen to yours. If the effort is not bidirectional, then its not really a valid discourse.

I guess the reality is that we are all to a point strongly emotionally biased towards what we believe: its hard for anyone no matter how humble to do this because it forces you to lose your ego and create a suspension of disbelief for some period of time to for one moment, listen to what someone has to say and truly consider the possibility that what they are saying, which is in some level of contradiction to what you believe, is in fact true.

I guess to get to the point, if you and you're parents sit down and make every attempt to suspend your disbelief about whatever you have an emotional bias with, then I think it will help both of you come to see why you both believe what you believe and become more comfortable with the perspective of both of your religious views.
 
  • #25
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i would be very surprised if a religious school kicked you out. rather, i'd expect them to just take more interest in you. that is, unless you just decided to go around saying blasphemies to get peoples' attention.
 

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