I think part of the problem here is that many times, people are given pictures to help them understand the mathematics of general relativity, since the mathematics is very difficult and the pictures are much easier. But then they have problems with the pictures, there's something about them they don't like, but they were only pictures in the first place-- they were never general relativity. General relativity does not have a theory of space that you could test if space is expanding or not, instead it has what Khashishi described so eloquently-- rules for linking up the local coordinates of widely separated observers, where the local coordinates are like those of special relativity, unaffected by gravity. You could think of it as special relativity applying locally, and general relativity telling you how to link up all those special relativistic local coordinates based on what gravity is doing to those connections. This is one way to interpret the meaning of the all-important "equivalence principle", which states that the local coordinates are always those of special relativity, which then have to be cobbled together into a global story that took Einstein many years to piece together, even after he had his lynchpin equivalence principle.
So when you understand that "space is expanding" is just a useful picture, and not a statement of fact about the universe, you are more free to adopt a different picture that you may prefer. But it must connect to general relativity-- a picture that violates general relativity will not serve you. Still, you have a lot of different pictures that can work. For example, general relativity provides a formal way to say that spacetime is curved, but a curved spacetime does not necessarily include an expanding space, it's just a curved spacetime that you can coordinatize in many different ways. If you say that distances are increasing with time, you are using what are known as "comoving coordinates", which means you take as your time coordinate the local proper age of the universe for the material in each region you are coordinatizing. That's a very natural thing to do, we are imagining hypothetical clocks that were created with that material and stayed with it all this time, but we could use an entirely different set of clocks for our time coordinates, These different coordinates are giving us different languages for talking about what is happening, different pictures, but they are all saying the same thing in terms of what we would observe. For example, if you choose a coordinate system where the Earth is at the origin, then the Earth is at the center of your universe, but it doesn't mean that it is actually at a special place, only that you have coordinatized it that way. Space is like that too, we often mistake how we are coordinatizing it for the "real thing."
A classic example of this is if we decide to picture Khashishi's parallel transport experiment by saying that rulers and clocks and all bound systems are shrinking with age, this is what the universal gravity is "doing," in our picture. Then we also understand why the rocket, after accelerating and decelerating completely symmetrically, continues to have its distance from us increase with age-- it's because our rulers are shrinking with age. No experiment adjudicates these pictures, as long as we make them all consistent with general relativity. Some people might like one picture and dislike another, but notice that if you regard bound systems as shrinking with age, you have no trouble answering how an infinite universe could require more and more rulers to span between galaxy clusters as it ages. Indeed, I might argue this is the most important lesson of relativity-- our pictures are not unique descriptions of "what is really happening." The truth is, in itself, in some sense relative, in the sense of being subordinated to a choice of coordinate language.