I used to post a lot on sci.physics.relativity when a lot of high quality people like
John Baez and Steve Carlip posted. But gradually it became overrun by cranks. Gradually the good people left and it became ever more infested by nut cases so I too eventually left. But before I left I managed to sort out a number of issues with these people - one was this issue with Steve Carlip. Its obvious when someone points it out but may not have occurred to people otherwise - its not in textbooks I have read. Its simple really - there is no way to tell if gravity curves space-time or simply interacts with objects to make them act as is space-time was curved. So we can say space-time is flat and gravitons simply make it act as if it was curved or space-time is actually curved.
This raises all sorts of other issues such as a background free theory and why flat space-time is so special - all best confined to another thread.
Thanks
Bill