Is it normal for college roommates to have arguments over noise levels at night?

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In summary, the conversation was about a fight between two college roommates. The person asking for opinions had been trying to sleep since midnight, but the roommate was playing video games with the volume up. The person asked the roommate three times to turn it down, but the roommate only did so twice. When the person finally gave up on sleeping and turned on music to study, the roommate got angry and said hurtful things about the person's study habits and socialization. The person feels bad and like a "weirdo" for being a transfer student and a junior with different interests and priorities. However, the roommate's behavior is immature and disrespectful, and the person is not at fault for wanting to sleep and study.
  • #1
Hello all. I wanted some opinions as I'm feeling really bad now. I recently had a fight with my college roommate (yes, at like 3-4 in the morning). What happens is that I was trying to sleep since around midnight but he was playing video games with the volume up. I asked him three times to turn it down. The first time at around half past midnight; then at around 1:30am; and finally at like 2 in the morning. He turned the volume down the first two times but it was still loud to me as I was trying to sleep. And I think he just ignored me the third time. So at 4 in the morning when he finally got tired and turned it off to go to bed, I was not feeling like sleeping anymore (I had been trying to do that for almost 3 - 4 hours). I woke up and turned my music on to study. I know that was a very immature move and I know it was wrong of me but I was very mad. He asked me to use my headphones but I said NO. I asked him, "why should I respect your sleep if you don't respect mine?." It seems that that really pissed him off so he woke up and started yelling at me as if I was his mother or something. He said why I waited until this time in the semester at 4 in the morning to bring up my issue and he kept repeating the same thing many times just with different words. I told him that I usually don't care if he is loud in the mornings and that I just want him to be quite at nights because I need to sleep (I know it was my fault for not bringing that up earlier but I was just very mad). He started bringing up many things that I know I have done and that were wrong and I apologized for that. But what really made me feel bad was when he said that I was not a normal college student for having random sleeping hours and for not "talking to the people in my hall." To be honest, I am a transfer student and a junior. Most people (if not all) here at freshmen that seem to not care about anything and well, I like to hang out with people that share the same interests as me. He said that I was not normal for not socializing with them. He also said that it is a normal thing for college students to play video games until late at night and to make a lot of noise in the morning/evening--noise as in being very loud with their music. I'm going to quote him on this. He said, "I do it because I want my friends across the hall to know what I am listening to." I already mentioned that he said I was weird because of my random sleeping hours, so I told him, please understand I am a physics major and I have a lot of homework besides the work I have to do with a professor I'm working with. He said that he has friends that are physics majors and that are not like me. That his physics major friends do what he does at night (like playing video games and stuff like that). Now I feel very bad and like a weirdo (even though I am in college). At the end, I feel that it has been my fault all along ...
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  • #2
Your room-mate is a psychopath.

HE was in the wrong, but he doesn't care.

He should respect your need for sleep.

He doesn't have to play video games; than is LESS important that the study&sleep schedules for either of you.
  • #3
What an immature prick guy sounds like.
  • #4
Noodl said:
I'm going to quote him on this. He said, "I do it because I want my friends across the hall to know what I am listening to."
If he thinks this is a good justification for disturbing you his priorities are all wrong.
  • #5
Wow. I want to describe what I think of your roommate, but I'll likely get an infraction for it...

Anyway, you're NOT a weirdo. Everybody who takes their education seriously will do the things you do. They will need their sleep and they will make homework and work very hard. If the physics majors your roomate speaks of don't do that, then they will likely fail.

A college education nowadays is very expensive. If your roommate wants to waste that money by playing video games, then that's his choice. But he shouldn't jeopardize your sleep.

When I was a student and if I dared to play music after 12, then I would immediately get complaints from others. The thing is that I immediately apologized and turned the music off. This is what a normal person does. Your roommate is either not normal or not very mature.
  • #6
Noodl said:
He asked me to use my headphones but I said NO.
I can think of a better answer than that.
  • #7
Why not let him use your headphones when he plays video games? You would only need a simple adapter.
As for his physics major friends who play video games at night, you mentioned most of the people are freshmen? Lots of the freshmen physics majors, especially the video game playing ones, will not make it through graduation.

My university has a dedicated engineering floor of one of the dorms, it's probably quieter than other areas. Maybe your university has some specific areas for upper classmen, or quiet people? It seems unfair for you as a junior to be with rowdy freshmen.
  • #8
wtf is wrong with people these days?
  • #9
@ Jimmy Snyder

I know there were better ways of saying it but I was really angry at that moment. I know it is no excuse but I could not help it. I felt that he had crossed the line. I regret answering like that nevertheless.


He has his own headphones. I don't know whether they don't work with his TV or maybe he just doesn't want to use them. And, unfortunately, I am a transfer student and this is my first semester here. I did not have a chance to get into an upper classmen dorm since they didn't let me choose.

Anyways. Thank you all for replying; it makes me feel a lot better to know I am not crazy.
  • #10
You're obviously not crazy. However, please try using those wonderful things called paragraphs next time if possible. It makes my eyes bleed less. ;)
  • #11
Jeez. I thought you were talking about me and my girlfriend when I used to watch TV after work at night - very low - but she still complained, but you brought up the video game thing and I knew I was off the hook.
  • #12
The only ones I ever had problems with were inconsiderate, either blaring the radio or TV while I was trying to study. Aside from two who did that, I got along well with the others.

Related to Is it normal for college roommates to have arguments over noise levels at night?

1. What are common causes of college roommate arguments?

Some common causes of college roommate arguments are differences in cleanliness and organization, conflicting schedules and noise levels, disagreements over sharing personal items or food, and misunderstandings about boundaries and personal space.

2. How can I resolve conflicts with my college roommate?

The first step in resolving conflicts with your college roommate is to openly communicate and address the issue. Listen to each other's perspectives and try to find a compromise that works for both of you. It's also important to respect each other's boundaries and personal space.

3. How can I prevent arguments with my college roommate?

To prevent arguments with your college roommate, it's important to establish clear expectations and boundaries from the beginning. Have an open and honest conversation about your living habits and preferences. It's also helpful to regularly check in with each other and address any issues before they escalate.

4. What should I do if my college roommate is not willing to compromise?

If your college roommate is not willing to compromise, it's important to stay calm and try to find a solution together. If the issue cannot be resolved, it may be necessary to involve a third party, such as a resident advisor, to mediate the situation.

5. How can I maintain a positive relationship with my college roommate?

To maintain a positive relationship with your college roommate, it's important to communicate openly and respectfully, respect each other's space and belongings, and be considerate of each other's needs and schedules. It's also helpful to find common interests and activities to do together.

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