Is It Normal to Be 18 and Never Had a Girlfriend?

[inception7]

Another pitiful thread, but I'll go ahead and mention this.

I'm 18, turning 19 soon...and I have been single so far! To be honest, I've never been in any particular rush to have a girlfriend.

I'm somewhat of a spontaneous person, waiting for love to simply happen. I don't go and pursue it, although it seems I may have to now...

Am I doomed?

 

[kraphysics]

How are you supposed to get a gf if you don't pursue it?

 

[daveb]

I didn't have a gf until after I turned 20

 

[Char. Limit]

Uhh... sorry to say this, but 18 and no GF? So? Just because you didn't get involved in that teenage love thing doesn't imply anything negative about you at all, you know. I mean, I know lots of GREAT people who are older than you and have never been in a relationship.

 

[Ivan92]

I'm 19 and I have the same situation as you. No you are not doomed. If you found love then pursue it; nothing bad will happen. You should be fine. :)

 

[IMP]

I was in the same boat as you, waited until I was 20. Waiting that long does have a down side though, see a picture of me at 19:

[URL]http://icehot.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/the-dangers-of-masterbation-cefjfhimgijncefj.jpg?w=435&h=277[/URL]

 

[fluidistic]

I first kissed a girl when I was 18. Now I'm 24, kissed 3 girls in my life and have had 1 girlfriend (my current).

 

[Pengwuino]

Doomed? More like lucky. Relationships at that age NEVER last and they're usually full of childish nonsense because the people really have no idea what relationships are meant to be.

And if you're stupid enough (not to say you are) to fall into the thinking that people are trying to find their "soulmate" at that age, then all I can say is lololololololololol. I don't know a SINGLE person who is still with the person they were with in high school. I know one girl who was with her boyfriend for years and they stayed together through college, but they ended up breaking up.

The funny thing is that high school is an incredibly unstable situation. Once everyone graduates, people start jetting off to places around the country which is hell for any established relationship. Plus people start actually developing real goals and belief systems and personalities that could be in huge conflict with other peoples lives.

 

[kraphysics]

i was in the same boat as you, waited until i was 20. Waiting that long does have a down side though, see a picture of me at 19:

[URL]http://icehot.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/the-dangers-of-masterbation-cefjfhimgijncefj.jpg?w=435&h=277

[/URL]

lmao

 

[divergentgrad]

If you had a relationship right now, it would be kind of fun but mostly painful and after a while annoying.

You're better off using the time to do something productive that will pay off for the rest of your life. If you start an exercise regimen, start a business, start studying something new, start meditating, start investing... all of these will make you more attractive when it makes sense to care (in your 20s).

I wasted a lot of time worrying about such things and now, in my mid-20s, it doesn't matter that I did, and it didn't provide any lasting satisfaction. If I'd done something worthwhile instead, I'd be more satisfied now. (I'm pretty satisfied, though).

Personally, I'd start working out.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

keep it that way, you'll save a load of money :D

 

[Tosh5457]

Another pitiful thread, but I'll go ahead and mention this.

I'm 18, turning 19 soon...and I have been single so far! To be honest, I've never been in any particular rush to have a girlfriend.

I'm somewhat of a spontaneous person, waiting for love to simply happen. I don't go and pursue it, although it seems I may have to now...

Am I doomed?

You should pursue it, but don't worry too much about it, it's not a big deal. I'm 19 too and I've only had 1 girlfriend, for like 3 days

 

[Antiphon]

Look to make female friends. It's impossible to be just friends but the illusion takes the expectations and pressure way down.

If there's someone who likes you you'll find out. If not, everyone saves face because you're just friends.

 

[inception7]

Look to make female friends. It's impossible to be just friends but the illusion takes the expectations and pressure way down.

If there's someone who likes you you'll find out. If not, everyone saves face because you're just friends.

Doesn't one risk to lose the spark/opportunity if one waits too long and goes deeper into the friendship phase?

I mean, you can't precisely expect when the "love fire" will burn out. As you become friends for a period of more then a few days, to weeks, to even a few months, I wouldn't surprise if the girl has already find a new interest...

Or maybe I just have a juvenile perception of love...

 

[khemist]

Doesn't one risk to lose the spark/opportunity if one waits too long and goes deeper into the friendship phase?

I mean, you can't precisely expect when the "love fire" will burn out. As you become friends for a period of more then a few days, to weeks, to even a few months, I wouldn't surprise if the girl has already find a new interest...

Or maybe I just have a juvenile perception of love...

A couple of good female friends can lead to a lot of opportunities.

Keep your eye out, but don't search. Be ready to jump on an opportunity if you see one.

 

[Pengwuino]

Look to make female friends. It's impossible to be just friends but the illusion takes the expectations and pressure way down.

Nonsense. Guys and girls can be friends, the guy just has to not be an idiot and have some sense of maturity.

Doesn't one risk to lose the spark/opportunity if one waits too long and goes deeper into the friendship phase?

I mean, you can't precisely expect when the "love fire" will burn out. As you become friends for a period of more then a few days, to weeks, to even a few months, I wouldn't surprise if the girl has already find a new interest...

Or maybe I just have a juvenile perception of love...

Yes, it's juvenile. That's not love, its an infatuation. "Love at first sight" usually means the people have no standards or got lucky. Really loving someone in any meaningful and lost-lasting way requires you to love a lot about the person which inevitably means knowing a lot about them which means having known them for a while.

 

[blade123]

Biggest advice I can give is to not worry about it. Things will happen when they happen.

Also, if you DO meet a girl that seems cool. DO NOT FLIRT. Do not treat her any differently. Just treat her like a person. Talk to her like you would anyone else.

Women are just like you, there's only two real differences between men and women. Physical, and social pressures. Men and women want the same things really. Food, shelter, a good job, respect, friends, love, sex, etc.

IGNORE ALL DATING ADVICE!

Overall though, don't worry about it and for the love of god don't try to flirt/pick up chicks/spit game/whatever. It's just awkward. A girl will let you know if she's interested.

Remember a relationship is 50/50. And even though it's typical for the guy to ask the girl out, if the girl isn't putting out effort, it's not worth it.

 

[shelovesmath]

Another pitiful thread, but I'll go ahead and mention this.

I'm 18, turning 19 soon...and I have been single so far! To be honest, I've never been in any particular rush to have a girlfriend.

I'm somewhat of a spontaneous person, waiting for love to simply happen. I don't go and pursue it, although it seems I may have to now...

Am I doomed?

I met my hubby when he was 19 and I was 21, and he was not a lady's man by any means. What drew me to him was his kindness and intelligence. Try online dating if you're shy.

 

[DaveC426913]

I was in the same boat as you, waited until I was 20. Waiting that long does have a down side though, see a picture of me at 19:

[URL]http://icehot.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/the-dangers-of-masterbation-cefjfhimgijncefj.jpg?w=435&h=277

[/URL]

subtle. Right-handed are ya?

 

[Ivan92]

Are you doomed? You're asking for relationship advice on a site called "Physics Forums". What do you think?

Now now, just because we are scientists doesn't mean we don't know nothing about relationships. I am sure people have something to say to the OP (and some people have already given their advice). I don't see anything bad asking for relationship advice here.

 

[Edin_Dzeko]

Another pitiful thread, but I'll go ahead and mention this.

I'm 18, turning 19 soon...and I have been single so far! To be honest, I've never been in any particular rush to have a girlfriend.

I'm somewhat of a spontaneous person, waiting for love to simply happen. I don't go and pursue it, although it seems I may have to now...

Am I doomed?

I'll try to keep religious beliefs out of this as best as I can.
Reading your posts, it's really sad what our culture has become and the kind of things it teaches these days. Since when did innocence, purity become something to feel bad about? You don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore. That's all I will say.
Don't feel bad but rather be glad. If you keep this up you'll make some really nice girl very happy some day

 

[nucleargirl]

dude, don't worry about it! you are wayyy too young to be worrying about not having had a serious relationship! enjoy your freedom! and like you say, love will hapen when it is the right time with the right person. you can't force something like that. and if you did force a relationship, it would always feel wrong and you'd look back at it with bad memories. When the right girl comes along, then go for it! personally I think relationships are quite stressful, especially when its your first one and you are young (like yourself). so its only worth it for someone you really like.
loads of girls like guys who don't sleep around so save yourself for the right person.
you know what's right, don't be swayed by trash culture you see on TV.

 

[wisvuze]

if you think you're in trouble.. I'm 20, turning 21 and I have yet to be un-single!

 

[Char. Limit]

I'll try to keep religious beliefs out of this as best as I can.
Reading your posts, it's really sad what our culture has become and the kind of things it teaches these days. Since when did innocence, purity become something to feel bad about? You don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore. That's all I will say.
Don't feel bad but rather be glad. If you keep this up you'll make some really nice girl very happy some day

I'm not sure when it started, but I can tell you for certain that it was around in high schools and colleges since at least the 80's.

 

[jannkahon]

There is a right time for it. Just wait.

 

[daveyrocket]

Doomed? More like lucky. Relationships at that age NEVER last and they're usually full of childish nonsense because the people really have no idea what relationships are meant to be.

Who cares if a relationship at that age lasts? How do you expect people to have an idea of what relationships are meant to be if they don't have experience with them? IMO in order to have a successful relationship, one needs to have experience, and that means having relationships that end, for whatever reason. Any relationship that ends isn't a failed experience, or a waste of time. (Also, NEVER is an inappropriate qualifier for that sort of statement. I can think of at least one counter-example in my friends.)

To the OP: don't follow the advice "DO NOT FLIRT". Instead, learn how to flirt. Here's a tip: less is more. Be subtle.
The advice "IGNORE ALL DATING ADVICE!" is dating advice, so the only way to follow it is to ignore it. You should be skeptical about most dating advice however, since there really is a lot of bad advice out there.

The best advice I see in this thread is "Look to make female friends." If your intuition tells you that it's hard to go from the friend zone to a relationship, you're right. Don't waste your time trying to do that. But if you have friends who are girls that gives you a lot of opportunity to meet other girls. And if you're introduced by a mutual friend, then girls will begin with the assumption that you're not creepy.

Do you want to date or have a girlfriend? Or are you just concerned about "social pressures" or "what people would think" if you don't? Bottom line, if you don't want to do it, don't waste your time worrying about what will happen if you don't. But if you do want to do it, you're going to have to do some work to make it happen. You should try joining some social group doing something that you like to do, or find a new hobby that you enjoy and gets you out of the house (yes, that means stop playing WoW 18 hours a day).

 

[Edin_Dzeko]

Who cares if a relationship at that age lasts? How do you expect people to have an idea of what relationships are meant to be if they don't have experience with them? IMO in order to have a successful relationship, one needs to have experience, and that means having relationships that end, for whatever reason. Any relationship that ends isn't a failed experience, or a waste of time. (Also, NEVER is an inappropriate qualifier for that sort of statement. I can think of at least one counter-example in my friends.)

To the OP: don't follow the advice "DO NOT FLIRT". Instead, learn how to flirt. Here's a tip: less is more. Be subtle.
The advice "IGNORE ALL DATING ADVICE!" is dating advice, so the only way to follow it is to ignore it. You should be skeptical about most dating advice however, since there really is a lot of bad advice out there.

The best advice I see in this thread is "Look to make female friends." If your intuition tells you that it's hard to go from the friend zone to a relationship, you're right. Don't waste your time trying to do that. But if you have friends who are girls that gives you a lot of opportunity to meet other girls. And if you're introduced by a mutual friend, then girls will begin with the assumption that you're not creepy.

Do you want to date or have a girlfriend? Or are you just concerned about "social pressures" or "what people would think" if you don't? Bottom line, if you don't want to do it, don't waste your time worrying about what will happen if you don't. But if you do want to do it, you're going to have to do some work to make it happen. You should try joining some social group doing something that you like to do, or find a new hobby that you enjoy and gets you out of the house (yes, that means stop playing WoW 18 hours a day).

[1] I disagree with ya, chief. Pengwuino is right. Many of these teenage relationships are filled with nothing but childish games, immature little boys, and girls whose minds are dominated mostly by their hormones and filth that's been pushed into their heads by media and culture. Right now relationships are in-deed a waste of time with a few minor exceptions. They are a waste of time because, teens today fight over foolish things like who calls who and who doesn't. Think of all the hours they spend on the phone at night, texting back-and-forth which could be put into doing something more positively productive? When all ends, someone gets hurt. Look at how many girls are sexually "used" by their boyfriends? Look at how boys fight one another over a girl? Not to mention things like pregnancy among teens. It surely all begins with these childish boyfriend/girlfriend games. How are people going to know how relationsips if are supposed to be if they don't have experience with them? Have you ever heard of talking to children about dating? About how to be a man/woman of good character? And what to look for in a good spouse? Your son don't have to go to jail to know that jail is not a place where he should go. Same thing applies to dating. Your daughter doesn't have to get used, treated like a sex object, and shown little respect by guys before she learns that as a woman, a boy should treat her with the utmost respect. By seeing the way her father treats her mother, that should be enough, shouldn't it? One things about these relationships is that they carry over to the marriage years. The idea that if I get tired, bored with my boyfriend / girlfriend I will just break up with him/her carries over when the person is married. When the marriage gets boring, problems come up rather than dealing with it the person just seeks a divorce and quits. Btw, a lot of teens say things like "I hate him/her!" when they are talking about their ex's. And they throw out pictures, and other things that remind them of the person.

The few exceptions are that, there are some really nice few well home trained boys and girls out there. Who don't date just to date and move on to the next one but they date with the intention of the possibility of marriage in mind. Their dating has purpose and meaning. There are some nice young men out there who don't take girls for sex objects and some young ladies out there who still have some sense of self respect. But they are few, rare, and hard to find. My advice to the OP, if you're feeling bad because you've never had a girlfriend before, you're probably not ready yet (self esteem wise). Becareful you don't get taken advantage of.

If you can find a grown responsible man in your life (meaning off the computer, and PF) then please by all means go and speak to this man. Preferably your father but if you're asking a forum this question, it's making me wonder the kind of open relationship you have with your dad. But all the same I really don't know. Just find a grown responsible man who is married or something of that nature who can talk to you about dating, preparing for dating, etc. You don't have to feel bad about your purity and innocence and you don't have to do what your culture tells you to do. There's nothing wrong with dating one person, having sex with one person your whole life. Look at Mr. Obama and his wife

 

[daveyrocket]

[1] I disagree with ya, chief. Pengwuino is right. Many of these teenage relationships are filled with nothing but childish games, immature little boys, and girls whose minds are dominated mostly by their hormones and filth that's been pushed into their heads by media and culture. Right now relationships are in-deed a waste of time with a few minor exceptions. They are a waste of time because, teens today fight over foolish things like who calls who and who doesn't. Think of all the hours they spend on the phone at night, texting back-and-forth which could be put into doing something more positively productive? When all ends, someone gets hurt. Look at how many girls are sexually "used" by their boyfriends? Look at how boys fight one another over a girl? Not to mention things like pregnancy among teens. It surely all begins with these childish boyfriend/girlfriend games. How are people going to know how relationsips if are supposed to be if they don't have experience with them? Have you ever heard of talking to children about dating? About how to be a man/woman of good character? And what to look for in a good spouse? Your son don't have to go to jail to know that jail is not a place where he should go. Same thing applies to dating. Your daughter doesn't have to get used, treated like a sex object, and shown little respect by guys before she learns that as a woman, a boy should treat her with the utmost respect. By seeing the way her father treats her mother, that should be enough, shouldn't it? One things about these relationships is that they carry over to the marriage years. The idea that if I get tired, bored with my boyfriend / girlfriend I will just break up with him/her carries over when the person is married. When the marriage gets boring, problems come up rather than dealing with it the person just seeks a divorce and quits. Btw, a lot of teens say things like "I hate him/her!" when they are talking about their ex's. And they throw out pictures, and other things that remind them of the person.

The few exceptions are that, there are some really nice few well home trained boys and girls out there. Who don't date just to date and move on to the next one but they date with the intention of the possibility of marriage in mind. Their dating has purpose and meaning. There are some nice young men out there who don't take girls for sex objects and some young ladies out there who still have some sense of self respect. But they are few, rare, and hard to find. My advice to the OP, if you're feeling bad because you've never had a girlfriend before, you're probably not ready yet (self esteem wise). Becareful you don't get taken advantage of.

Right, of course, I forgot that none of that stuff can happen once you're past your teen years. Oh, except that it does all the time. You're saying all teenage relationships should be avoided because some of them are bad, and that's nonsense. Bad things can happen in relationships, just like in any other walk of life. Pain is unavoidable. It's part of human experience. Man up and face it with courage and you will be better off for it.

Skipping over the weird "personal-baggage" sounding stuff in your post, I just want to say two things:

Your son don't have to go to jail to know that jail is not a place where he should go. Same thing applies to dating.

Duh, you don't have to go to jail to know it's a bad place to go. But the jail analogy is a failure because there's no such thing as a good jail. Your son doesn't have to learn to tell the difference between a good jail and a bad jail. He does have to learn to tell the difference between good and bad relationships.

Have you ever heard of talking to children about dating? About how to be a man/woman of good character? And what to look for in a good spouse?

Yeah, and guess what? Talking about it isn't a substitute for experience. Guess what else? What works for a good spouse for you might not be what works for me or anyone else. I have a pretty good idea to know what I want in a woman, and it doesn't match any piece of advice anyone's ever given me. In fact, it doesn't even come close matching what I thought I wanted in a girl when I started dating. And you want to know how I figured it out? I dated different girls.

You don't learn to drive by reading the manual 10,000 times and listening to everyone's advice then when you first get into the car you attempt to drive from Los Angeles to New York. You don't learn to ski by listening to a bunch of people telling you how to do it and then jump onto a black diamond course. Some advice will help, after all, you wouldn't want to try driving without knowing which pedal is the gas pedal. But advice is most useful when taken in tandem with experience. Most of the time you're going to have to make some mistakes to recognize them. It doesn't matter how much advice you listen to, experience can't be taught.

Go with your feelings. If you want to date, do it. Just don't catch any diseases or get anyone pregnant. If you only think you should be dating because you're comparing yourself to other people or you are afraid of them passing judgement, then stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on yourself more.

 

[DaveC426913]

[1] I disagree with ya, chief. Pengwuino is right. Many of these teenage relationships are filled with nothing but childish games, immature little boys, and girls whose minds are dominated mostly by their hormones and filth that's been pushed into their heads by media and culture. Right now relationships are in-deed a waste of time with a few minor exceptions. They are a waste of time because, teens today fight over foolish things like who calls who and who doesn't. Think of all the hours they spend on the phone at night, texting back-and-forth which could be put into doing something more positively productive? When all ends, someone gets hurt.

Yes. Welcome to growing up.

davey_rocket is correct on all points.

How do you think they will learn what is meaningful from what is fluff if they do not experience it? It is in the context of all this silly game-playing that they build their character - who they are - and who they are not. If they never experience it, they will never recognize it later in life.

Do you also think kittens playing at stalk-and-pounce with a bug are wasting their time, learning nothing?

 

[Edin_Dzeko]

Right, of course, I forgot that none of that stuff can happen once you're past your teen years. Oh, except that it does all the time. You're saying all teenage relationships should be avoided because some of them are bad, and that's nonsense. Bad things can happen in relationships, just like in any other walk of life. Pain is unavoidable. It's part of human experience. Man up and face it with courage and you will be better off for it.

Skipping over the weird "personal-baggage" sounding stuff in your post, I just want to say two things:



Duh, you don't have to go to jail to know it's a bad place to go. But the jail analogy is a failure because there's no such thing as a good jail. Your son doesn't have to learn to tell the difference between a good jail and a bad jail. He does have to learn to tell the difference between good and bad relationships.



Yeah, and guess what? Talking about it isn't a substitute for experience. Guess what else? What works for a good spouse for you might not be what works for me or anyone else. I have a pretty good idea to know what I want in a woman, and it doesn't match any piece of advice anyone's ever given me. In fact, it doesn't even come close matching what I thought I wanted in a girl when I started dating. And you want to know how I figured it out? I dated different girls.

You don't learn to drive by reading the manual 10,000 times and listening to everyone's advice then when you first get into the car you attempt to drive from Los Angeles to New York. You don't learn to ski by listening to a bunch of people telling you how to do it and then jump onto a black diamond course. Some advice will help, after all, you wouldn't want to try driving without knowing which pedal is the gas pedal. But advice is most useful when taken in tandem with experience. Most of the time you're going to have to make some mistakes to recognize them. It doesn't matter how much advice you listen to, experience can't be taught.

Go with your feelings. If you want to date, do it. Just don't catch any diseases or get anyone pregnant. If you only think you should be dating because you're comparing yourself to other people or you are afraid of them passing judgement, then stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on yourself more.

Hey fine, go right ahead. Whatever floats your boat, mate

 

[Edin_Dzeko]

Yes. Welcome to growing up.

davey_rocket is correct on all points.

How do you think they will learn what is meaningful from what is fluff if they do not experience it? It is in the context of all this silly game-playing that they build their character - who they are - and who they are not. If they never experience it, they will never recognize it later in life.

Do you also think kittens playing at stalk-and-pounce with a bug are wasting their time, learning nothing?

You don't understand where I'm coming from so let's just drop this.

 

[k19r14s15]

hay my friend i know how you feel iam 42 years and i don't have a. gf ether it's hard when good looking ladys. look at you strange i have been trying to talk to women. for a long time maybe it's me or what ever it is they just don't get but keep trying something will happen soon

 

[blade123]

To the OP: don't follow the advice "DO NOT FLIRT". Instead, learn how to flirt. Here's a tip: less is more. Be subtle.
The advice "IGNORE ALL DATING ADVICE!" is dating advice, so the only way to follow it is to ignore it. You should be skeptical about most dating advice however, since there really is a lot of bad advice out there.

Subtle? My god that's the worst thing you can do. People are stupid. It's much more effective to tell someone straight up "I like you, maybe we should hang out". Subtle? No one picks up on subtlety. Be open and honest. Expecting someone to pick up your intentions without actually telling them your intentions is asinine.

And I was trying to be ironic. I meant ignore all "dress this way" "act this way" "say this". Yes I am giving advice, but it was more a joke. I guess I'm not funny.

Just be yourself, and be honest. If you like a girl, tell her. If she says she's interested, you just cut out a lot of games and got right to the point. If she says she's not interested, you just saved a ton of time and heartache.

My god, subtlety? I have never once seen subtlety work, ever. I've seen being open and honest work many many many times.

 

[Cuauhtemoc]

I don't think just waiting for it to happen is the best approach, you got try.
You need to surpass your shyness and ask some girls out.
That's the only way of truly knowing people, first sight love is for movies.
With most of them it will not work out, but in the end you may find somebody you like and likes you back.

Flirting is part of the game, but it's not everything, you got to be open sometimes.

 

[daveyrocket]

Subtle? My god that's the worst thing you can do. People are stupid. It's much more effective to tell someone straight up "I like you, maybe we should hang out". Subtle? No one picks up on subtlety. Be open and honest. Expecting someone to pick up your intentions without actually telling them your intentions is asinine.

And I was trying to be ironic. I meant ignore all "dress this way" "act this way" "say this". Yes I am giving advice, but it was more a joke. I guess I'm not funny.

Just be yourself, and be honest. If you like a girl, tell her. If she says she's interested, you just cut out a lot of games and got right to the point. If she says she's not interested, you just saved a ton of time and heartache.

My god, subtlety? I have never once seen subtlety work, ever. I've seen being open and honest work many many many times.

Well, I kind of wondered if "ignore all dating advice" was a facetious. But I don't see much humor besides it is in itself dating advice. I'm not sure if I agree with what you meant, either. Well it depends, if it's overly specific like you must say this line to talk to women, then I agree. But if someone gives advice like, wear clean clothes, show some sense of style, clean under your fingernails, shower reasonably often and tame your facial hair, then yeah I think it's good advice. It's not going to make a huge difference either way though.

Re: flirting. Most women have a pretty keen sense when it comes to detecting subtle flirting. And they use subtlety all the time (have you ever been talking to a woman and noticed that she found some way to mention that she has a boyfriend in the conversation? That's her subtly letting you that she's not interested.)

Flirting isn't about communicating intentions, it's about hinting at them. Women love a sense of mystery, and flirting helps to create it. It also gives you a means of testing the water by seeing if flirtatious behavior is returned (although keep in mind a lack of response isn't necessarily the same thing as a negative response). You seem to think that flirting should never be done because it's impossible for it to work. And that's just not true, because I've seen it work and I've had it work for me. But it is something that takes some skill and practice. If it hasn't worked for you, maybe you gave up on it too quickly.

Openness and honesty is good, but too much openness is a bad thing. If you walk up to girls and say "hi, I'd like to sleep with you" your success rate is going to be pretty low, even if you're being completely honest. You can say "I'd like to take you out on a date" but even that is more than you really need to be.

 

[Galteeth]

1. Get in shape.

2. Try going for girls a couple years younger then you.

3. Don't turn down a girl just because you think it won't lead to anything serious. You never know.

4. Talk to as many girls as possible.

 

[khemist]

2. Try going for girls a couple years younger then you.

Worst advice in this thread, sorry.

Go for any age. Though I have found the older women are more exciting.

 

[Galteeth]

Worst advice in this thread, sorry.

Go for any age. Though I have found the older women are more exciting.

Of course. But as I remember, most senior girls in high school were going out with college guys. And most freshman girls in college are dating upper class men.

 

[Gamble93]

I know how you feel. I'm your age and I've only ever had one serious relationship. In retrospect it was a waste of time because we were still in high school and she was immature. Just hold out. You'll find someone.

 

[DaveC426913]

How is a serious relationship - even one in high school - a "waste of time"? Did you spend your entire relationship playing cribbage?

 

[Hobin]

How is a serious relationship - even one in high school - a "waste of time"? Did you spend your entire relationship playing cribbage?

Are you suggesting that cribbage is a waste of time? ;)

 

[Gamble93]

I see your point DaveC. Perhaps I should have said, "What I thought was a serious relationship". I spent most of the relationship infatuated with her and spending all my money on her only to realize towards the end that she was extremely immature and was using me. Hope that clarifies.

 

[khemist]

I see your point DaveC. Perhaps I should have said, "What I thought was a serious relationship". I spent most of the relationship infatuated with her and spending all my money on her only to realize towards the end that she was extremely immature and was using me. Hope that clarifies.

At least you learned something.

Its good to have those failed relationships in high school, so that when one gets out into the real world one has a better idea of what to do and what not to do.

 

[I like Serena]

I see your point DaveC. Perhaps I should have said, "What I thought was a serious relationship". I spent most of the relationship infatuated with her and spending all my money on her only to realize towards the end that she was extremely immature and was using me. Hope that clarifies.

Is it so bad to be infatuated?
To be with someone that makes you feel good, even though it costs you some money?
In time she obviously didn't make you feel so good any more, and then you broke it off.
No real harm done.
You had a good time and you have gained some experience.
It would be worse if you had kids for instance!

 

[Gamble93]

Nothing is wrong with infatuation. Haha. :) I did enjoy myself. I guess I'm just bitter and cynical because our break up was rather rocky. And yes, I am very glad that we never had kids, though she did try to persuade me at one point. Either way, I'm sure the OP will find someone.

 

[DaveC426913]

Is it so bad to be infatuated?
To be with someone that makes you feel good, even though it costs you some money?

Yes, if she was in the relationship under false pretenses.

 

[I like Serena]

Yes, if she was in the relationship under false pretenses.

Interesting statement.
As it is, I have a strong dislike for dishonest people who end up hurting people.
I can imagine that when found out, it would be very dispiriting, leading to distrust in future relationships.

Somehow I think you have more to say about it.
Could you elaborate?

 

[DaveC426913]

Interesting statement.
As it is, I have a strong dislike for dishonest people who end up hurting people.
I can imagine that when found out, it would be very dispiriting, leading to distrust in future relationships.

Somehow I think you have more to say about it.
Could you elaborate?

No, I was simply picking up on Gamble's post where he said "What I thought was a serious relationship. "
You wondered what's bad about infatuation, and spending money, but that assumes he was aware of it. To me, it sounds like he was being taken for a ride. So yes it's bad.

 

[kalakoi]

Im 21 and I've been in 2 relationships!I have very few girls in my college and i want to meet someone new!
Any advice?

 

[mathwonk]

to OP: you have a great future ahead of you!