Angelika10 said:
What is the reason that the stress-energy tensor curves the space-time?
The Einstein Field Equation.
Angelika10 said:
The Ricci - tensor represents a volume gain and is on the left side of the field equations
The Ricci tensor is not on the LHS of the field equations; the Einstein tensor is. The Einstein tensor is not exactly "volume gain"; but even leaving that aside, what the LHS of the EFE represents is not just "volume gain" but "volume gain or loss". For normal matter with "attractive gravity", the EFE predicts volume
loss, not gain. (More precisely, the volume of a small ball of test particles will decrease.)
This paper by Baez and Bunn gives a good basic treatment:
https://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0103044
Angelika10 said:
Having said this, how can we assume that there is something like flat spacetime?
We assume
local flatness as an
approximation that is useful for certain purposes. Nobody claims that spacetime in our actual universe is actually flat anywhere; of course it isn't, since there is matter present in the universe.
Angelika10 said:
we assume there would be flat space without matter, don't we?
No. There are vacuum solutions of the EFE that are not flat.
Angelika10 said:
is the asymptotically flat space time kind of a background field (background spacetime) of everything in the standardmodel?
No.
There is another heuristic argument which we haven't yet mentioned, that gives a justification for using an asymptotically flat model for an isolated system like a solar system or a galaxy. It is based on the shell theorem, which says that if we have a region of spacetime surrounded by a spherically symmetric distribution of stress-energy, the spherically symmetric distribution outside the region has no effect on the spacetime geometry inside. For the case of perfectly empty space inside the region, this means the spacetime in the empty region is flat. For the case of an isolated system inside the region, this means the spacetime in the region can be well approximated as asymptotically flat.
Of course the above premise is not exactly true in our universe either; our solar system is not surrounded by an exactly spherically symmetric distribution of matter, nor is a galaxy. But it is true to a good enough approximation to make asymptotically flat models of isolated systems useful.