Is She Interested in More Than Friendship?

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The discussion revolves around the challenges of asking a girl out who may already be in a relationship. Participants suggest various approaches, such as casually inquiring about her relationship status and keeping the invitation low-pressure. There's a consensus that if she is interested, her current relationship status may not be a barrier, but caution is advised to avoid discomfort. Additionally, the importance of mutual respect in relationships is emphasized, advocating for equal treatment rather than a one-sided approach. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complexities of navigating romantic interests while respecting existing relationships.
  • #51
does she smile when she talks to you?

and does she turn her torso in your direction when she does?
 
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  • #52
webster, yes she does smile and turn most of the time. Good sign? I'm going to amp it up next week
 
  • #53
excellent sign---pat her on her back when she says something funny next time
 
  • #54
KK, will do. This has really helped a lot, thanks all. I'm still amazed that Evo didn't leave some killer post like I expected. Anyways, my "plan" is coming into play.
 
  • #55
If she's a little shy, don't make too much eye contact ---in other words, don't stare at her too much until she feels comfortable looking at you
 
  • #56
I don't stare at people. Generally I make some eye contact, not a lot, but some, with everyone I talk to.
 
  • #57
There'll be a good time to stare ---and you will know when
 
  • #58
lol, she's really great. She's into photography, as am i, and through our local libraby there is a magazine that is made by teens and features artwork by local teens, and we both want to submit some photos, so its another point in common.
 
  • #59
How perfect!---ask her if she would mind meeting sometime as you would like to try some portraiture work, and if she would like be your subject (take pictures of her FACE)
 
  • #60
binzing said:
lol, she's really great. She's into photography, as am i, and through our local libraby there is a magazine that is made by teens and features artwork by local teens, and we both want to submit some photos, so its another point in common.

That's great! Now you have an activity in common you can invite her to do with you while you get to know each other better. Get out the cameras, go someplace fun to take photos, take some cheesy ones of each other, and after they're developed/printed/uploaded onto the computer (whichever type of photos you take), sit down together and help each other choose photos to enter in the contest.
 
  • #61
Yeah, last night I asked her (via Myspace) what type of photography she likes and today email said she had responded, so I got to go read that.
 
  • #62
She said she likes to do most types but especially stuff that can tell a story without words. I'm thinking I'll ask her sometime this spring (once plants start budding, etc.) if she wants to go to one of the parks and get some nature photos. We'll see what happens.
 
  • #63
You're going to wait several months before asking her out?
 
  • #64
No, not necessarily. Hence me saying "We'll see."
 
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  • #65
You could always ask her if she has any plans for Valentine's Day. :biggrin: That's coming up soon, and is always a great excuse to ask someone out for the first time.
 
  • #66
Yeah, I know that's coming up. I don't know how to do it tactfully though.
 
  • #67
One way would be to not say anything beforehand, and then on V-day, give her a V-card, perhaps some chocolate and/or flowers, and tell that you weren't sure if she was getting a Valentine, and you thought she should, and you wanted to be sure she got one.

You can keep it friendly and see where it goes. Just tell the truth - that you appreciate her friendship, enjoy her company, and that you like her.
 
  • #68
if you see her all the time, I personally wouldn't ask her out 'online'--do it in person
 
  • #69
I see he everyday for one class period. And no, I wouldn't ask her out over the net, but it is a good way to communicate out of school as I don't have a cell phone like every other kid on the bloody continent. I like Astro's idea.
 
  • #70
rewebster said:
if you see her all the time, I personally wouldn't ask her out 'online'--do it in person

I agree. When all the young people do so much online anymore, the personal touch of asking in person will seem so much more special.
 
  • #71
Yeah, I would never do that online. So just now I got another response after telling her the kind of photography I like and her response was "Wonderful! What got you started in photography?" So I'm felling pretty good.
 
  • #72
This is great sounding. You could tentatively invite her now to do some photography in the spring...maybe she'll suggest something sooner. If you're getting that positive of a response, when you see her in class, I'd just ask her if she has plans for Valentine's Day yet (if you're lucky, others will be talking about it already...do you have any Valentine's dances at your school, or anything like that?). If she tells you no, she doesn't have plans, then you can ask her if she'd like to do something with you.

Or, you can take the riskier move of having something in mind, doing as suggested above, giving her some chocolates or other little gift, and asking her then what her plans are, and if she has none, invite her out. The big risk is that at your age, she might still have to ask her parents' permission, and that could delay things too much to be feasible.
 
  • #73
Yeah. I'm thinking about doing an aforementioned shoutout thing or something, this is great!
 
  • #74
if you've never gone out with her, I don't think I would do a 'shoutout'---get to know her a little bit first

chocolates may be too much too ---don't get your expectations TOO high--
 
  • #75
rewebster said:
if you've never gone out with her, I don't think I would do a 'shoutout'---get to know her a little bit first
Oh, no, if it's high school, that's perfectly okay. Even if she doesn't take it as a serious dating thing, it's a big deal to get something like that, and the more the better, so you're covered whether she's thinking friends or dates.

chocolates may be too much too ---don't get your expectations TOO high--

Does your school do anything like carnation sales for V-day? Mine used to do that, different clubs would sell the carnations as fundraisers and deliver them on Valentine's morning. Getting a pink or white carnation was just the right thing if you weren't yet sure of your status, and a red one if you were already dating.

Chocolate will be okay too, just don't go overboard with something gigantic. A small box of just a few pieces with a cheesy little card is safe as a friendly gesture that might lead to something more.
 
  • #76
Nope, I don't think they do anything like that. At midschool they did "Candy Grams" which was a lollipop and a little not at all custom (you could have it anyway you liked, as long as that was the same as everyone elses). I think I might do a card and maybe a small thing o' chocolates.
 
  • #77
Or, you could make one of a fotograph of the two of you...
 
  • #78
binzing said:
Hey all. I need some help with asking a girl out, who I think might already have a boyfriend, but I'm not at all sure of that fact. Anyways, we have one class together and she's really cool. Smart, pretty, and of similar personality to me. We've gotten to each other pretty well. Any suggestions?Thanks

Why not figure out if there's any "chemistry" between you and her. Lend her your chemistry texts. And tell her, "i feel acidic today, do you want to be my alkali?". And, let the reactions begin...:biggrin:
 
  • #79
teru said:
Why not figure out if there's any "chemistry" between you and her. Lend her your chemistry texts. And tell her, "i feel acidic today, do you want to be my alkali?". And, let the reactions begin...:biggrin:

Maybe ONE of these days we'll get that :groan: smiley we keep requesting. :-p
 
  • #80
teru said:
Why not figure out if there's any "chemistry" between you and her. Lend her your chemistry texts. And tell her, "i feel acidic today, do you want to be my alkali?". And, let the reactions begin...:biggrin:

Wow, I want to give you warning points for that one. Talk about lame.
 
  • #81
It sure would come in handy at times, eh?
 
  • #82
Yeah, sorry, but that was a sarcastic ha ha on my fun-o-meter.
Cyrus, maybe I could do it with photoshop, grab one of her good ones from myspace and get one of myself and find a way to artfully put them together.
 
  • #83
So her and I were talking about what got us started in photography and I tentatively said that we should get together and take some photos sometime. Also I've been think of something to put in a v-day card, something like "Meeting you has made this year something special" It may be longer also depending on if the card was blank or pre-done.
 
  • #84
So here's her response to my question of going on a photo taking trip around the area. "Okay! And we could be cool and start a club!" so I think this is moving forward much faster than previously thought!
 
  • #85
binzing said:
So here's her response to my question of going on a photo taking trip around the area. "Okay! And we could be cool and start a club!" so I think this is moving forward much faster than previously thought!

Well, you never know. She could still be thinking of friends and group activities. But, the time you'd spend together planning out how to start a club certainly will give you the chance for it to become more in short time. Sometimes things just "happen" if you spend a lot of time together with someone, and you're not quite sure when you went from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend, but you know that's what happened.
 
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