My potential supervisor is SO hot

[nucleargirl]

My potential supervisor is SO hot!

long time no see...

I just have to let this out somewhere. and Here is the only place I can do this! forgive me!

So... OMG! SOOOO HOTTTTTT! OHMYGOD! lollollol

ok, so I'm on the course, and we have to choose supervisors for our projects. so I've been visiting potential supervisors. and there is one really interesting project, and the supervisor is super nice and super nice and super nice! and super nice! as in really hot. But more than that! lol.

No seriously, as in kind and professional, and caring! and knows that I don't know ANYTHING! and doesn't expect me to know anything either. But not in a patronising way. Yeah... its so strange! Anyway, so I was trying to be really chill and not freak out or stare inappropriately. And he basically talked about the project for like 45 minutes straight! I understood like half of what he was saying... the rest was kind of blank stares from me and him drawing pictures to explain...

Anyway, so what I want to ask is this: Should I choose his project or not?

Pro: interesting project, lots I would learn, get to be trained by hot supervisor 1 on 1! and stare at him for 6 months every day.

Con: What if it gets really awkward...?! Obviously I'ma going to be really professional and not do stupid things. But what if he doesn't like me and I feel really rejected and start getting down and feeling inadequate? Or what if I start finding him irritating or something? You know they say its a fine line between love and hate!

Should I try to find a equally interesting project with a supervisor who I feel indifferent about?

Well, right now my mind is all clouded up so the obvious answer is NO! and plus, I like him mostly because of the way he thinks anyway. yes... action justified!

 

[micromass]

Do you like the subject of the project?? Do you like the explanations of your potential supervisor?? I think these things are a bit more important that how hot the guy is

 

[nucleargirl]

Hi Micro!

The subject... meh! Its about some pathway and I hate pathways! but I think I will have to grow to like them because everything is about pathways...

But I DO like the way he explains stuff! Its very good! I like the way he thinks about making the experiments conclusive...?! Well, making the results indisputable anyway :)

 

[nucleargirl]

I wonder what would happen if we actually got together...? lol I think it would go downhill very quickly!

It wouldn't be hot anymore if it was real!

 

[nucleargirl]

To be honest, its not even the way he looks! Its like something else. Its definitely personality. yes, that's it! :p

 

[micromass]

Hi Micro!

The subject... meh! Its about some pathway and I hate pathways! but I think I will have to grow to like them because everything is about pathways...

Not good D:

But I DO like the way he explains stuff! Its very good! I like the way he thinks about making the experiments conclusive...?! Well, making the results indisputable anyway :)

That's good.

But know that if you DO take him, then you will likely end up being disappointed in him. Nobody is perfect. Sure, you like him now. But what if he tells you that your work was wrong and that you should start again. Can you handle that? Such things can be very heavy!
What if he starts pushing you to do more work while you are already drowning in work?? What if he doesn't really seem interested in the project??

His hotness is a pro, but I think it's much more important that your personalities match. If you're an easy-going person, then your advisor should be as well. If you're a workaholic, then your advisor should be as well. Etc.
Not matching personalities can cause LOTS of grief.

 

[micromass]

oh... I hope he chooses me! I think there are a few other students also interested in his project... and when I met him I was trying too hard to be chill so maybe I came off as quite uninterested... oh... I think we'd match well! I hope he liked me!

It might be a good idea to email him some interesting questions about his project? This might show that you're interested...

 

[Anicho]

omg GOT A PIC?:ddDDD

 

[nucleargirl]

NO!

 

[nucleargirl]

But he's taller than me by a bit, and kinda buff... lol what a rare find! a buff professor! and has no ring on his finger! but that might just be for practical reasons. like older than me, but not too old. and you can tell he works hard cos he has thinking lines on his face...

 

[nucleargirl]

) and I wonder if he smiles? cos he didnt really smile properly when I met him... interesting...

 

[nucleargirl]

soooo hot... and he wears black shirts... so HOT!

 

[Anicho]

If he's over 35 yrs old he's too old mate.

 

[Kaldanis]

Nothing is too old. But holy crap, you seem to be excited! If you found someone that makes you enjoy learning something you probably have to learn like you said, then I suggest you throw yourself at him

 

[Mépris]

Good lord, just focus on the project okay? If you're into the whole "I like-like teachers" thing, just date a high school teacher and be done with it. There's far too much trouble you could get into by trying to go out/have a fling with a prof.

Rules may vary from uni to uni but if I'm not mistaken, even when student-prof relationships are "okay", they aren't allowed if the student is taking their class?

 

[Topher925]

Wow, this guy has really got you in a tizzy. If he were your supervisor do you think you would ever be able to get anything done or would you just stare and day dream about him every minute of every day?

 

[turbo]

Watch out, NG! You should protect your own academic integrity before engaging in any dalliance, however slight. Some things last longer than others.

 

[Dembadon]

Watch out, NG! You should protect your own academic integrity before engaging in any dalliance, however slight. Some things last longer than others.

Sound advice.

Proceed with caution, nucleargirl!

 

[nucleargirl]

) thanks for the advice.

Today he e-mailed back! and basically it was only 6 words but it means he's ok with it if I choose his project, and that he doesn't dislike me. hopefully. Ahhhh! I've lost interest in all the other projects now! and I've become paranoid someone else from the class will also choose his project! NO¬!

ah... what to do? I'm almost tempted to read his project properly and think of some questions to ask him and look even more interested so he will choose me! hm... but I'm also scared of being really obvious if I do meet him again... I think he could tell last time!

)

 

[Kaldanis]

) thanks for the advice.

Today he e-mailed back! and basically it was only 6 words but it means he's ok with it if I choose his project, and that he doesn't dislike me. hopefully. Ahhhh! I've lost interest in all the other projects now! and I've become paranoid someone else from the class will also choose his project! NO¬!

ah... what to do? I'm almost tempted to read his project properly and think of some questions to ask him and look even more interested so he will choose me! hm... but I'm also scared of being really obvious if I do meet him again... I think he could tell last time!

)

Haha wait, this project is part of your degree and you're almost tempted to read it properly? This sounds like it could end in tears! Maybe you should go for something you really want to do? :P

 

[turbo]

) thanks for the advice.

Today he e-mailed back! and basically it was only 6 words but it means he's ok with it if I choose his project, and that he doesn't dislike me. hopefully. Ahhhh! I've lost interest in all the other projects now! and I've become paranoid someone else from the class will also choose his project! NO¬!

ah... what to do? I'm almost tempted to read his project properly and think of some questions to ask him and look even more interested so he will choose me! hm... but I'm also scared of being really obvious if I do meet him again... I think he could tell last time!

)

Like I said before, be careful. Your academic progress comes first. If you choose to get personally involved, you could get burned if things don't turn out well. People who fall "out of love" or even "out of infatuation" with you are not the best folks to have as supervisors.

 

[Vagrant]

+1 for proceeding with caution.
Such entanglements usually get extremely nasty at the end. You don't have to choose another project if this is what you want to do, but I'd suggest keeping a completely professional attitude.

 

[nucleargirl]

I want to keep a professional attitude! BUt I can't help grinning when I even think about him, nevermind if I was actually talking to him!

 

[turbo]

I want to keep a professional attitude! BUt I can't help grinning when I even think about him, nevermind if I was actually talking to him!

Oh, oh! You've got the hots and you'll act impulsively. I wish you good luck with that.

 

[jedishrfu]

this thread reminds me of the scene in an indiana jones movie where a female student had a message painted on her eyelids that indy would see each time she blinked.

http://indianajones.wikia.com/wiki/"Love_you"_student

 

[nucleargirl]

If I get him as my supervisor, I think I will try to work hard and impress him that way :)
I think he would be a really good supervisor. What goes on in my head will stay in my head!

 

[nucleargirl]

I think I like him because he is pretty much everything I want to be? except a man of course. and older. So its good. I can become more like him. Thats probably what would be the best about doing a phd - spending so much time in close contact with someone you admire intensely and who will teach you to be like them. You could never be friends with someone this way, nor in a job really. This is what's unique about phd training i guess. I so hope I get him! totally selfish reasons. I would like to be a supervisor one day and shape someone else's mind.

 

[nucleargirl]

Seriously, this is great! I was just actually reading his papers (to see his writing style) which are about pathways! and its not too bad, Its actually pretty exciting.

 

[nucleargirl]

oh... I'm so hopelessly obsessed!
tomorrow I'm going to see another supervisor... but they work in the same lab... so I might see... What to do?!
lol...

ah...

 

[nucleargirl]

I'm scared...

 

[nucleargirl]

up early to get all my work done! YAHHHH!
))))))

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Even if you are committed to being and acting professional around this person the apparent intensity of your attraction for him may start to effect your work performance if you are in close contact on a regular basis while trying to keep your feelings bottled up. Perhaps you will "settle in" and not be so intense once you get used to being around him. It may just get worse. You should know how you tend to react in such situations, so keep that in mind.

 

[jedishrfu]

No good can come of this. You really need to think of your degree goals and nothing else.

Basically don't mix the two because in the end you risk getting neither. Workplace romances usually end in bitterness with one party leaving because the pain is too great.

You're so excited, he can see that and that gives him the advantage in any relationship you might have. If he's so hot then there's sure to be others who will try to win him as well so longterm you will be fighting off these urges in him making it painful for you.

 

[nucleargirl]

I didn't see him today... was disappointing...
:( sadness

 

[nucleargirl]

he's too hot to not have a girlfriend or at least girls chasing after him...
its going to be a lot of pain and heartache!

 

[nucleargirl]

Either way, I have made my decision and chose his project. Now I am waiting to hear if I get it. If I don't, whoever gets it is going to DIE! and then I will get it :)

 

[thorium1010]

Either way, I have made my decision and chose his project. Now I am waiting to hear if I get it. If I don't, whoever gets it is going to DIE! and then I will get it :)

Infactuation and obsession crossing a line ?

 

[nucleargirl]

seriously! I've pretty much told everyone else on the course that this project is mine... THEY'd better not cross that line!

 

[nucleargirl]

he's so kind-looking I can't take it!

 

[256bits]

You are smiiten girl.


Lyrics and song by Sting

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking - she's so close now
This girl is half his age

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

 

[nucleargirl]

If I get it, we will HAVE to stand close to each other!

 

[Monique]

Uh oh.. someone's in love..

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

 

[Deveno]

when i was a young man (what i wouldn't give to be young again...THIS time, i'd know just exactly what to do) one of my math professors (to be fair, the youngest one) had a wife who couldn't have been more than a year or two different in age from me.

which means, of course, that he had met and courted her while she was a student, more than likely one of his students. such things do happen.

however, this is probably the exception that proves the rule.

i don't know you, NG, but i hope you wish for the best, and plan for the worst.

oh, and apparently energizer lithium maintains proper voltage longer.

 

[Moonbear]

At one of the universities where I worked, there was a faculty member who married his grad student. Needless to say, she had to find a new mentor to finish her degree because it woud have been a conflict of interest to be advised by her husband (he was younger faculty and she was a bit older student, so it wasn't too odd for them to have been attracted). So, while one possibility is simply making a fool of yourself if the attraction isn't mutual, the other if it is mutual is needing to find someone else to be your supervisor. Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

 

[Borek]

Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

Divorce?

 

[netgypsy]

As has been mentioned this sort of thing is pretty common. One of my female family members taught a young man who asked her if she ever posed for a poster. (She just smiled and said "thank you for the compliment but no") He didn't do very well in her class despite being a very good student normally. He had to be really smitten because her husband taught in the same department and there was no doubt that they were crazy about each other.

 

[Lisa!]

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

Why do you say shame on them?

 

[drizzle]

First of all, I really enjoyed reading this thread.

His hotness is a pro, but I think it's much more important that your personalities match. If you're an easy-going person, then your advisor should be as well. If you're a workaholic, then your advisor should be as well. Etc.
Not matching personalities can cause LOTS of grief.

You're not serious, are you? Cause I'll never finish my degree if I follow it []

No good can come of this. You really need to think of your degree goals and nothing else.

Basically don't mix the two because in the end you risk getting neither. Workplace romances usually end in bitterness with one party leaving because the pain is too great.

+1

he's too hot to not have a girlfriend or at least girls chasing after him...
its going to be a lot of pain and heartache!

*smacks NG with a frozen fish*

Uh oh.. someone's in love..

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

Agreed [with the shame on them part too]

Why do you say shame on them?

Personally I don't like it, it just brings lots of question marks on my head.

At one of the universities where I worked, there was a faculty member who married his grad student. Needless to say, she had to find a new mentor to finish her degree because it woud have been a conflict of interest to be advised by her husband (he was younger faculty and she was a bit older student, so it wasn't too odd for them to have been attracted). So, while one possibility is simply making a fool of yourself if the attraction isn't mutual, the other if it is mutual is needing to find someone else to be your supervisor. Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

Divorce?

Advice: focus on your study NG.

 

[Loess]

Honestly all I can advise you is 'don't go there', just focus on your studies and not him!

Infatuation is difficult to control (well it was for me). i lusted after this guy who was once my tutor then the 'relationship' became real and I got hurt, I guess as i was emotionally attached by this point and he wasn't. If you can keep it in your head then great. I wouldn't want to go through that experience again.

 

[nucleargirl]

Thanks for the advice all. and the fish slap :p

I have news... I got it.

But... I'm not excited anymore. I think I over did it in my head.

Its probably for the best.