Nasty little beggars not only eat our home

[wolram]

The nasty little beggars not only eat our homes, oh no, they have to try and kill us by global warminig .

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xix/4.7.95/news/globe.html

Paul Eggleton, a scientist with Britain's Natural Environmental Research Council, announced last week that termite flatulence is responsible for as much as 20 percent of the world's methane. Eggleton said that each year termites release 88 million tons of methane as they chew through old leaves, trees, and soil. According to Eggleton, "It's a lot of methane, but there are a lot of termites."

I am studying a way to use termite gas to power motor vehicles, doe's anyone know the termite mass to food ratio neede to produce a cubic yard of gas per hr?

 

[LURCH]

I think it can be calculated by taking measurements at a familly reunion and scaling down.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I am studying a way to use termite gas to power motor vehicles, doe's anyone know the termite mass to food ratio neede to produce a cubic yard of gas per hr?

This won't work due to considerations uncovered in the follow-up study:
http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xix/4.7.95/news/globePT2.html

Paul Eggleton, a scientist with Britain's Natural Environmental Research Council, has released a new study on the subject of termite flatulence entitled "Observation Leads to Embarrassment in Flatulent Termites". According to Eggleton, when his colony of termites realized their flatulence was the subject of his keen observations they quickly altered their diet in several ways to obviate the buildup of methane in their digestive tracts. "It seems I embarrassed them," shrugged the biologist. "Oh well."

 

[wolram]

This won't work due to considerations uncovered in the follow-up study:
http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xix/4.7.95/news/globePT2.html

Thanks Zooby, i did not know termites had feelings, it sort of makes them an even worse pest, it has given me another idea though, may be i can run my vehicle off of man made wood gas, (made by chemical means) i would not have to eat wood :yuck: Does anyone know which trees are the most gas eous?

 

[turbo]

Maybe you should switch to cows. They are not at all embarrased about their flatulence, and if one or two of them fail to produce, you can eat them instead of eating wood. I'm not sure how you would keep them piped up, though. There's a lot of solid stuff coming out that same hole.

 

[tribdog]

Does anyone know which trees are the most gas eous?

Psychiatry
Ministry
sophistry

 

[turbo]

The gas used in dentistry is fun.

 

[tribdog]

Maybe you should switch to cows. They are not at all embarrased about their flatulence, and if one or two of them fail to produce, you can eat them instead of eating wood. I'm not sure how you would keep them piped up, though. There's a lot of solid stuff coming out that same hole.

you don't pipe the cows, you feed them rubber tree leaves and capture the gas in fart bubble balloons. I think

 

[turbo]

you don't pipe the cows, you feed them rubber tree leaves and capture the gas in fart bubble balloons. I think

That's the old technology. Whenever solids came out instead of gases, the resulting product was marketed as medicine balls. The problem is that the medicine ball market can be saturated quite easily. How many medicine balls does any given gym need? That led to further innovation, such as pre-loaded whoopie cushions, but that craze soon died as well, leaving cattlemen with a valuable product that was so hard to market that it was literally slipping away from them.

 

[TuviaDaCat]

how the hack could one gather the termite's farts? this research is odd. methan can be gasthered from garbage sites... but thermites.. erg..

btw,
i have a friend who once lived in kenya, once they had a few temites in their house.
the solution?
they cooked them on a pan.

they must have pointed their index finger on the cooked temite, and sayed "the joke is on you!" and started devouring them...

 

[tribdog]

it's easier to gather termite gas than cow gas.
termites pipe themselves. cows rarely dig tunnels

 

[zoobyshoe]

cows rarely dig tunnels

Apparently this is not quite true:

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xix/4.7.95/news/globePT3.html

Paul Eggleton, a scientist with Britain's Natural Environmental Research Council, has released a new study of the often ignored propensity of cows to tunnel into the Earth in their spare time. "The reason this activity is not well known is that most cows aren't provided with sufficient spare time to excercise their desire to dig," asserts Eggleton, "Their spare time is frequently taken up by being forced to participate in television commercials for milk and cheese products."

Eggleton claims his observation of obligation-free cows demonstrated that over 39% of them eventually begin kicking dirt away from selected spots of pasture, which Eggleton interprets as an expression of their desire to create tunnels. So far, none has actually managed to create a proper tunnel, but Eggleton believes this will change when he introduces cow-operable shovels and spades into their environment. Eggleton has a dream: "One day I hope to have the budget for a cow-operable backhoe. Mankind never created a proper tunnel before he developed appropriate tools, so why should we expect better from a cow?"

 

[tribdog]

I agree 105%, but desire and ability are two different things. there is a huge difference between a sleeping cow and a bull dozer. I've never even herd of a cow pokeing it's head underground I'd steak my reputation on it.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I agree 105%, but desire and ability are two different things. there is a huge difference between a sleeping cow and a bull dozer. I've never even herd of a cow pokeing it's head underground.

I think this response demonstrates your essentially prosaic nature. Eggleton has a dream! Let's support the cow-operable backhoe. I hear a whisper in the cow pastures...

If you build it, they will tunnel!

 

[tribdog]

If you build it, they will tunnel!

and if they don't, it's all right. i mean, no use crying over spilled milk.

 

[zoobyshoe]

and if they don't, it's all right. i mean, no use crying over spilled milk.

Apparently, this is not quite true:

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xi.../globePT4.html

Paul Eggleton, a scientist with Britain's Natural Environmental Research Council, has released a new study enumerating the psychological and physical benefits of crying over spilled milk. "The process is one of catharsis" claims Eggleton, "and can't be overestimated as a form of stress relief. Since I began experimenting I find I can now not leave the house in the morning without knocking a tumbler of milk over and weeping profusely. In this way I start the day emotionally refreshed and cleansed."

 

[tribdog]

How dairy you contradict me twice? You got some sort of beef with me or what? This sort of bull**** can not be good for me.<---silver platter

 

[zoobyshoe]

How dairy you contradict me twice? You got some sort of beef with me or what? This sort of bull**** can not be good for me.<---silver platter

Kine you please cud it out! You've milked this long enough. It's becoming udder nonsence!

 

[tribdog]

I had the milked and udder nonsence in reserve, cud it out cracked me up

 

[DaveC426913]

I've had it with the bovine you! Knock it off!

 

[turbo]

Yes, it's not very kine of you two to steer this discussion away from Woolie's very serious enterprise.

 

[tribdog]

lol, what a bunch of nerds we are

 

[zoobyshoe]

Yes, it's not very kine of you two to steer this discussion away from Woolie's very serious enterprise.

I think he should collect termites, dry them, and burn them like wood pellets.