Living as an Odd One Out: Experiences & Advice

  • Thread starter TheStatutoryApe
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In summary, the conversation discusses the topic of living in a neighborhood where one feels like they are the odd one out in terms of race. One person shares their experience of looking for a new place to live and discovering that they may be the only white person in the neighborhood. They express concerns about feeling like they are intruding and being treated poorly based on their race. Others in the conversation offer their own experiences and opinions, with some emphasizing the importance of checking crime statistics and others noting the potential for social class to play a role. Overall, the conversation highlights the potential for discomfort and discrimination in such situations.
  • #1
TheStatutoryApe
296
4
Odd One Out...

I'm going to be moving soon. Since I work nights and generally sleep during office hours my roomie has been the one taking care of finding a place and I have no idea what the area we are moving into is like. One of the places we drove over to look at was in a neighborhood where, it seemed, we would have been the only white people who lived there. I'm wondering if the place he has us scheduled to be putting a deposit on later this week is similar.

Has anyone here ever lived someplace where you were the only person of your race/culture in the area? Did it make you uncomfortable? and did you have any problems while you were living there?

The idea makes me a bit uncomfortable. I feel like I would be intruding to some degree. And I have been treated poorly based on my race/culture enough to be a bit paranoid about that aswell.
 
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  • #2


TheStatutoryApe said:
...One of the places we drove over to look at was in a neighborhood where, it seemed, we would have been the only white people who lived there...
Is that an issue to you? Where do you live now? How much diversity is there? I was the only white kid on my street when I lived in Pittsburgh.. I never had any issues.
TheStatutoryApe said:
...And I have been treated poorly based on my race/culture enough to be a bit paranoid about that aswell...
Maybe you should let that go.. I think any person alive could make an argument fort that.
 
  • #3


I'm the only mathematician in my neighborhood. Last night they burned a plus sign on my yard.
 
  • #4


jimmysnyder said:
I'm the only mathematician in my neighborhood. Last night they burned a plus sign on my yard.

Jesus, that had me rolling...
 
  • #5


If you are worried about crime, then look at the crime stats for the neighborhood.

Other than that, I find that social class is more of a factor then race. If everyone is riding sub-100$ bicycles and you fly past them in spandex and a road bike, you will attract some unwelcome attention. Same as "does your car fit in with the others?", etc
 
  • #6


jimmysnyder said:
I'm the only mathematician in my neighborhood. Last night they burned a plus sign on my yard.

:smile: <snort> :smile:
 
  • #7


Have you asked your room mate about it? I have lived in several areas where I was the only person of my race. While everyone was nice to me, it was very clear I didn't fit in, I understand your concern.
 
  • #8


I went to one year of high school in a school that was about 90% non-white. I had a little apprehension at first - I had heard rumors that white kids get beat up in the bathrooms. But it was fine, no one bothered me...on the other hand, no one talked to me, either :rolleyes: .
 
  • #9


I was the only male in two small apt. buildings each time---that turned out well both times.

yeah--check the crime data, or hang around the area and ask the people who are there.
 
  • #10


I think it's a good experience. When you're living in a predominantly white neighborhood, and the first non-white moves in, you'll understand the awkward feeling and will have something immediately in common with that person to help make them feel more welcome to alleviate those concerns.

I haven't lived any place where that was an issue; usually I choose fairly diverse communities to live in, just because it means other things are nearby that I enjoy, such as ethnic grocery stores or a variety of summer festivals. The closest I got was when I was a high school student and visiting colleges, my hostess for a weekend event at the college I ended up attending was living in the Africana house, which while not a requirement for residency there, primarily attracted African-American women to reside there. So, I spent a weekend as the only white woman in a house of about 30 women. The high school friend who visited with me, and wound up staying in a different dorm, was more worried about it than I was. I found it to be a wonderfully fun experience. These women were more than willing to talk about African heritage and their experiences with racism, which was all very enlightening. Since it was blatantly obvious I was the visitor in the house, if there was even a moment that I was sitting around without something to do because my hostess had homework or studying or something else to do, it wasn't long before someone else came along to talk to me or asking if I needed anything or offered to show me around some other place on campus. The kindness of those women was a large part of my decision to attend that college over my other choices.

Really, what are you worried is going to happen? They're going to look at you and your roommates and say, "Oh, geez, have you seen those white guys that moved in? There goes the neighborhood!"
 
  • #11


g33kski11z said:
Is that an issue to you?

It's not so much an issue for me but that I am worried it may be an issue for my neighbors.

Crosson said:
If you are worried about crime, then look at the crime stats for the neighborhood.
I don't care about the crime. It's Long Beach and I know there is plenty of crime there. I don't have much worth worrying anyone might steal it.

Moonie said:
Really, what are you worried is going to happen? They're going to look at you and your roommates and say, "Oh, geez, have you seen those white guys that moved in? There goes the neighborhood!"

I have had people mess with me and treat me poorly because I am white. I've especially had people accuse me of being, and treat me as if I were, racist. Fortunately that's mostly at my job and probably primarily because I am a psuedo authority figure telling them what to do.

I think it will be fairly mixed, which will be fine, but I know there are areas where almost everyone is black and/or hispanic. And being the 'LBZ' there are plenty of 'gangstas' and 'vatos'. While I rarely have issues with even the 'thug' types I'm sure it would be an entirely different situation if my roomie and I were the only two white boys living in their neighborhood.
 
  • #12


TheStatutoryApe said:
And being the 'LBZ' there are plenty of 'gangstas' and 'vatos'.

What's LBZ?

Living in a predominantly minority neighborhood is one thing; living where there are active gangs is completely different. I used to live in Tacoma, WA. When I moved there it was a beautiful and racially mixed neighborhood; when the gangs took over, it was chaos - they terrorized the place.

Why does your roomie want to live there, anyway?
 
  • #13


rewebster said:
..I was the only male in two small apt. buildings each time---that turned out well both times..
Well, I should hope so.. :smile:
 
  • #14


lisab said:
What's LBZ?

Living in a predominantly minority neighborhood is one thing; living where there are active gangs is completely different. I used to live in Tacoma, WA. When I moved there it was a beautiful and racially mixed neighborhood; when the gangs took over, it was chaos - they terrorized the place.

Why does your roomie want to live there, anyway?

It's a slang reference to Long Beach CA popularized by Snoop Dogg and Sugar Ray. Long Beach used to be a hot bed of gang activity but that has fortunately turned around in the last ten years. There are still thugs but most of them are wannabes.

My friend works near there and doesn't have a car. It's one of the only places we can afford to live. He wants to be near LA because he wants to be a singer and wants to be near the industry center. Also we both like a lot of what the area has to offer. It's mostly a rather nice place with lots of character and interesting places to go. People there aren't uptight and snobbish.
 
  • #15


I saw the place today and it definitely looks like we are going to be the only two wetos in the barrio. lol
 

Related to Living as an Odd One Out: Experiences & Advice

1. What does it mean to be an "odd one out"?

Being an odd one out means feeling different or isolated from others in a particular group or community. It can be due to a variety of factors such as personality, beliefs, interests, or appearance.

2. What are some common experiences of living as an odd one out?

Some common experiences of living as an odd one out include feeling misunderstood, excluded, or judged by others. It can also involve struggling to fit in or find a sense of belonging.

3. How can someone cope with being an odd one out?

There are several ways to cope with being an odd one out, including finding a supportive community or group, embracing one's uniqueness, and focusing on personal growth and self-acceptance.

4. What advice do you have for someone who feels like an odd one out?

My advice would be to remember that being different is not a bad thing and to focus on finding people who appreciate and accept you for who you are. It's also important to prioritize self-care and surround yourself with positive influences.

5. How can society be more inclusive of those who feel like an odd one out?

Society can be more inclusive by promoting diversity and celebrating differences. This can include creating safe spaces for individuals to express themselves and educating others on the importance of acceptance and empathy towards everyone.

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