Paying on a First Date: Should Men Pay?

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In summary, the conversation discusses whether a man should pay on a first date or not. The consensus is that there is no clear answer and it depends on various factors such as cultural background and personal preference. It is generally considered a good gesture to offer to pay, but it is not necessary in all situations. The advice is to always pay if unsure, but also consider the other person's wishes. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide. There is also a mention of the unwritten rule that the person who initiated the date should pay, but it is not a strict rule.
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dirk_mec1
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Should a man pay on a first date or not? A discussion here on PF a few years ago did not really provide a clear answer. What do you guys think, pay or not to pay?
 
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  • #2
dirk_mec1 said:
did not really provide a clear answer.
I do not think you can get a clear answer, it is dependent on a mountain of different variables from cultural background to personal preference. It is undoubtedly a good gesture to offer to pay, but the situation may not require that. If the woman insists on paying for herself, it is probably a bad idea to keep insisting on paying. If the woman insists on the man paying without the offer being made, the man should consider if that is really relationship material.
 
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  • #3
Orodruin said:
I do not think you can get a clear answer, it is dependent on a mountain of different variables from cultural background to personal preference. It is undoubtedly a good gesture to offer to pay, but the situation may not require that.

So the general advice is to always pay if you are not sure? How about the fact that most first dates will not lead to a relationshiip? You'll keep on paying in that case right?

If the woman insists on paying for herself, it is probably a bad idea to keep insisting on paying. If the woman insists on the man paying without the offer being made, the man should consider if that is really relationship material.
Yes, I agree, although the last situation will happen unspoken.
 
  • #4
dirk_mec1 said:
So the general advice is to always pay if you are not sure? How about the fact that most first dates will not lead to a relationshiip? You'll keep on paying in that case right?

I think this is something that must be left up to you and what you feel like doing. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to dating. As I said, offering to pay is a nice gesture. I do not think you can get more specific than that on a general basis.
 
  • #5
The one who invited the other should pay.
 
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  • #6
HallsofIvy said:
The one who invited the other should pay.
Is this an unwritten rule?
 
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No, I just wrote it!
 
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Related to Paying on a First Date: Should Men Pay?

What is the traditional expectation for men to pay on a first date?

Traditionally, it has been expected for men to pay on a first date. This stems from the idea that men are the providers and should take care of their dates. However, this expectation is changing as gender roles and dynamics continue to evolve.

Should men always pay on a first date?

There is no universal rule for who should pay on a first date. It ultimately depends on the individuals involved and their personal beliefs and preferences. Some may prefer to follow traditional expectations, while others may prefer to split the bill or take turns paying. Communication and mutual understanding are key in determining who should pay on a first date.

Is it fair for men to always be expected to pay?

This is a complex question and may have different answers based on personal opinions. Some may argue that it is not fair for men to always be expected to pay, as it reinforces traditional gender roles and puts financial pressure on men. Others may argue that it is a small gesture of chivalry and generosity that should not be seen as a burden.

What are the potential implications of men always paying on a first date?

There are both positive and negative implications of men always paying on a first date. On one hand, it can be seen as a kind and generous gesture, and may make the person paying feel good about themselves. On the other hand, it can also perpetuate traditional gender roles and create financial expectations for future dates. Additionally, it can create a power dynamic where the person paying may feel entitled to certain expectations from their date.

What are some alternative ways to handle paying on a first date?

As mentioned before, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Some alternatives to consider could be splitting the bill, taking turns paying, or even discussing and deciding on who will pay before the date. It is important for both individuals to feel comfortable and respected in whatever decision is made regarding paying on a first date.

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