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Personal statement - wondering whether it's 'appropriate'

  1. Nov 30, 2005 #1
    Firstly I'd just like to say that quite a while ago I posted some pretty, rude, offensive and childish posts under a different username. It's no excuse, but I'd like to say that I was having problems and that I regret making those posts and am ashamed. I'm seeing a psychiatrist about my issues.

    Anyway, I'd like to ask whether you think it would be a bad idea for me to post the personal statement below for my university application? I believe I'm 'relatively' intelligent i.e. more intelligent than the average person (though I believe that there are many people more intelligent than me by several magnitudes), but unfortunately I am very inarticulate. I'm just worried that after they read my PS and see how I come across in the interview, they'll think someone else wrote it and assume that I'm a dishonest person. Can I have your advice? Should I just use it?

    Here it is:

    My interest in Pharmacy stemmed from my childhood observations of how my mother could control her diabetes and lead a relatively normal life by simply popping a pill or taking an injection. Ever since then I have been fascinated by how the subject encompasses so much of life’s issues and practicalities and how it can bring together aspects of several different sciences to vastly improve the quality of people’s lives. I am attracted to the various aspects of a community Pharmacist’s work, in particular being able to talk to people from such varied backgrounds as a part of their daily work and the sense of the worthwhile a Pharmacist would get when they give someone advice and they seem genuinely thankful. Pharmacists are now more actively involved in patient care then ever and I look forward to being able to have such a potential impact on the health of the community.

    Although I previously chose to pursue a completely different degree in engineering because I lacked the necessary biology A level, I found that I was not well-suited to this degree and after some consideration decided to start my Pharmacy access course. In the Chemistry component I have learnt an important skill in producing written and illustrated results from experiments which I am able to evaluate and modify. I enjoy the application of logical scientific thinking and knowledge of natural laws to analyse and solve problems occurring in Pharmacy. The practical side of Chemistry involving laboratory work is my main interest in this subject and I would enjoy continuing with this work so that I can use it to help others. Similarly through my study in Chemistry and Pharmacology I am able to understand the way chemicals interact with each other, and with my knowledge of biology and understanding of physiology and anatomy, I can put Chemistry in the context of the life sciences.

    During my half-term holiday I recently gained valuable work experience working for a dating company in Liverpool which introduces single male and female clients. I feel I learned valuable communication skills through constantly dealing with customers’ requests and explaining the services offered. I often had to work as a team with colleagues which I believe will be beneficial to my future career as a Pharmacist. My part-time weekend voluntary work with Diabetes UK giving diabetics moral support and helping with fundraising events has enabled me to enhance my personal awareness of the devastating effect the disease has on peoples’ lives and has given me the opportunity to resolve a number of problems in a variety of situations, which I take pride in. Some of my more recent voluntary work involved helping a group of elderly ladies to make simple lifestyle changes so that they could have better control over their diabetes. I empathised with their situation and took great satisfaction in being able to make their lives that little bit easier. These experiences encouraged my personal development and facilitated an informed insight into the level of empathy, compassion, enthusiasm and stamina required to be a good Pharmacist.

    Various students and practising Pharmacists have stressed the importance to me of maintaining recreational interests that aid in coping with the inevitable personal demands and professional stresses of a career in Pharmacy. I have a passion for reading science fiction, cycling and swimming which are fully integrated into my life, requiring a continual refinement of my time-management. Fitness is important to me, I cycle forty miles weekly and enjoy lifting weights and doing cardio in my small home gym.

    I am aware of the social demands of a busy career in Pharmacy, the continual academic commitment required, and the importance of being a well-rounded motivated individual with excellent interpersonal abilities. Furthermore, the challenge of using logical and clinical reasoning in an environment that demands a genuine personal dedication attracts me immensely. By studying Pharmacy I will not only help others, but pursue a vocation to which I truly aspire.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 30, 2005 #2
    I think the PS is very well written. I guess you mean you are less articulate in person than when you write, because there's nothing "inarticulate" about what you've written. I highly doubt they would think you didn't write it, because all the candidates are obviously going to be spending alot of time and care on their PS: the interviewers would expect it to be better worked out than what the person can come up with of the top of their head.
     
  4. Nov 30, 2005 #3
    It is well written and has a good flow to it. Your interest in the field comes across clearly and you use correct grammar. I don't know how much stock universities put into these statements or why they make you write them, but this is a pretty good one I think.

    good luck,
    Ryan
     
  5. Nov 30, 2005 #4

    brewnog

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    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Not bad at all.

    Got any room for more words? Go into your personal life (hobbies, other interests etc) a bit more if you can. The admissions tutor wants to see that they're recruiting sociable people who are likely to fit in well in a university environment, and the ones I used to work with make a point of asking for higher A level grades from the kids they think are less likely to go out and socialise while at uni, so you might be able to make things easier for yourself there.

    Nitpick: Lose the capitals on chemistry and pharmacy etc. Most wouldn't care, one or two might.

    Come on then, where are you applying? Who made your Top Six? :smile:
     
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