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Things we learn from movies

  1. Jan 27, 2004 #1

    jimmy p

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    Things You Learn From the Movies (or at least i have anyway!!)

    1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

    2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

    3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

    4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

    5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

    6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

    9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

    10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

    12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

    14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

    16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

    21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

    22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

    23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

    25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

    26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

    Are there any others?
  2. jcsd
  3. Jan 27, 2004 #2


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    All spaceship captains follow the intergalactic convention as to which way is up.

  4. Jan 27, 2004 #3
    Cops always arrive at the end, when every good guy had been shot or killed.
  5. Jan 27, 2004 #4

    jimmy p

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    dont u mean the cops arrive when the BAD guys have been dealt with?
  6. Jan 27, 2004 #5
    Works as well
  7. Jan 27, 2004 #6

    jimmy p

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    anything else you have learned from extensive film studies???
  8. Jan 27, 2004 #7

    Tom Mattson

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    If you are the sorry sunuva-bee who has to carry the flamethrower for your unit during a war, you will eventually get shot in the propane tank and go up like a roman candle.

    (Source: When Trumpets Fade, Saving Private Ryan, Windtalkers,...)
  9. Jan 27, 2004 #8

    Ivan Seeking

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    My top ten lessons from the movies

    10). Watch out for computers that can read lips. --- 2001

    9). Most real aliens either glow or they have something that glows...and all aliens can levitate things.

    8). Really smart teenagers can outwit the government's best minds and any Ph.D; their computer skills being far superior as well.

    7). All phone numbers have the prefix 555.

    6). Whenever two people are about to engage in mortal combat, they like to talk first. Often they were once friends so they exchange one or two puns before fighting.

    5). Guys who shoot machine guns usually have baby oil on their exposed biceps.

    4). Most people who are really sad spend a lot of time looking at the ocean.

    3). The engine in any really fast car sounds just like a Chevy 350 with headers and a supercharger.

    2). All oppressed people are really much nicer than their oppressors

    And my most valuable lesson learned from the movies:

    1). It is easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys. :wink:
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2004
  10. Jan 28, 2004 #9

    jimmy p

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    and a few more for the ladies...in romance fims

    1./ Everyone still looks beautiful in the morning

    2./ Women always wrap the entire sheet around them when they get out of bed

    3./ No-one ever knocks heads or squashes noses when moving for a kiss

    4./ Ladies never wear support tights, big knickers, or greying bras

    5./ Contraception? what contraception??
  11. Jan 28, 2004 #10
    All foreign ppl...not just military ppl...and then everyone knows how to speak english fluently

  12. Jan 28, 2004 #11

    jimmy p

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    lol yeah, thats true, and the heroes never make a slip up when they speak a foreign language either.
  13. Jan 28, 2004 #12

    You've missed this one:

    "27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English."

    From: http://www.authorware.com/humtext.asp?Hum_ID=56
  14. Jan 28, 2004 #13

    jimmy p

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    ???? that was number 26.
  15. Jan 29, 2004 #14

    How about this?

    "During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once."

    From: http://www.authorware.com/humtext.asp?Hum_ID=56

    It's number 10 there.
  16. Jan 29, 2004 #15

    jimmy p

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    LOL thats a pretty good one!! ..where do i sign up for the movie police??

    keep em going!!
  17. Jan 29, 2004 #16
    Martial arts experts do not know how to use a gun.
  18. Jan 30, 2004 #17


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    But don't sweat it too much, as time dilation inveriably kicks in near te end, ensuring that the last five clicks take 20-30 seconds, or whatever amount of time is needed.


    It is imparative to determine who the "main good-guy (or -gal)" is, so that you can avoid becoming their best friend, old mentor, or "only thing in the world they care about".

    If you ever find yourself in a Belisario feature, DO NOT, under any surcumstances, allow the main protagonist to fall in love with you!
  19. Jan 30, 2004 #18


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    Corollary to Mercator's entry:

    A guy fighting with a sword or his fists will always beat a guy with a gun. (exception: Indiana Jones.)

    Or how about this one from the politically correct department--

    Any male action hero will always make short work of even swarms of male adverseries. Against a female or group of females, however, he will have great difficulty and get beaten up a good bit without even landing a hit. Eventually, however, he will recover and knock out the lady/ladies with one punch each.
  20. Jan 30, 2004 #19
    That's exactly the scene I like most about Indiana Jones and we can say that in the history of film making, between the fighting scenes, this is probably the most realistic one. Except for the fight between a 4 and a 3 wheel mini in Mr. Bean.
  21. Jan 30, 2004 #20


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    Small, good-looking men are much tougher than big ugly men.

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