What are some harmless yet hilarious office pranks?

[lisab]

Like most places of employment, my work does not have assigned parking. But everyone parks in the same dang places every day, and they (quite mistakenly) come to think of that spot as THEIR spot.

Well here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest of the US, we get much rain. Much, much rain. And the rainy season has started -- it is Fall, you know. And it is dark late into the morning. In the middle of winter we arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark. (Yes I know you Nordic/Alaskan/Canadian/Russian PFers are not going to feel much sympathy for me on this point!)

So I have this coworker who has shifted his work hours a bit later. Now, he gets in at 8:00. He has habitually taken a prime parking spot near the door. I traditionally have taken a parking spot further out, and I get to work at 7:00 (on a good day ;)).

I've recently started taking his parking spot. I mean, on a cold, dark, rainy morning, why wouldn't I?

This has started what I would call a war. He parks so close to my driver side that I have to climb in from the passenger side! And he laughs about it!

I should say here, he and I are VERY good friends. We go on camping trips together, drink beer together, and share work/life secrets. So this "war" does not have any true animosity.

But -- I NEED TO GET THIS GUY BACK! In the worst way! Well not the worst way, we still need to be able to laugh about it later.

I should add, he's the building superintendent and he could make my work life miserable if I go too far (e.g., turn my office as cold as a meat locker, make my lights blink, etc.).

So...what practical joke ideas do you have? What can I do to give him a nice, fat "OMG!" moment, but not endanger our friendship?

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Simon Bridge]

He locks his car and has a security alarm?
What kind of car is it, and what sort of budget are we talking about?

Just being annoying you can build a simple circuit that makes a loud beeping when it is shaken and shuts up when it's still and tape it to the car. But ideally you want something related to parking very very close. There is always putting traffic cones around your car after you park ... historic gags like dismantling the car and reassembling it someplace awkward are much tougher to do these days.

 

[Enigman]

Ask another friend to block his driver's side and box him in.
Fake an emergency and then guilt him into stop doing that.
Leave a box of kittens on the spot he parks*.
Get some meta-materials and cloak it.

*make that skunks.

 

[David Carroll]

People act like this in the Pacific Northwest? I thought everyone up there was all like liberal and progressive and nice and harmless...with beards. Thank you, lisab. You just shot my image of the Pacific Northwest.

 

[Enigman]

Fake parking tickets (fining him drinks?)
Paintings:

 

[Simon Bridge]

Make up a sign for a fake company like - Wash your toilets by hand, Inner thigh massages or something to that effect. Put your targets phone number on the sign and then put the sign on the passenger side of the car. If I'm reading the situation right - the passenger side is the side that is close to your car ... so he won't notice it.

I'm on the other side of the Pacific - to me, "pacific north-west" makes me think "Australia" or something.
Curious: is there a "pacific north-east" in the US?

 

[Simon Bridge]

Official looking letter under the wipers - claiming there have been complaints about the car being the site of unrestrained sexual activity and would the owner please show some restraint in future or the authorities will be notified.

 

[edward]

TP his vehicle. Put jelly on his door handle and a piece of bread on the hood. Loosen his gas cap, on newer vehicles this should make his check engine light come on with no harm done.

 

[nsaspook]

Smoke bomb.

 

[lisab]

Lol, those are good. Not sure if I want to mess with his vehicle though, it's a big truck. He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.

He keeps his office locked, but if I get a chance I'll sneak in and do a CTRL+ALT+(down arrow). (Note: if you try this yourself, the keystrokes CTRL+ALT+(up arrow) reverses it :D. Go ahead and try it!)

 

[Gullik]

A prank that sounds fun, if you have access to his computer, is to make a costum script for his keyboard that makes it so every ten'th button he presses is exchanged with another letter. So he writes a lot of small spelling errors all the time.

 

[nuuskur]

Put salt in his morning coffee ^^

 

[2milehi]

Sell his car for cheap on craigslist. Use his email address so he won't be bombarded with phone calls.

If you can get to his computer

 

[Pythagorean]

Lol, those are good. Not sure if I want to mess with his vehicle though, it's a big truck. He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.

Oh dear. Then you might be doing him a favor!

 

[DiracPool]

Well here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest of the US, we get much rain. Much, much rain. And the rainy season has started -- it is Fall, you know. And it is dark late into the morning. In the middle of winter we arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark. (Yes I know you Nordic/Alaskan/Canadian/Russian PFers are not going to feel much sympathy for me on this point!)

Yes we are, and it has been rainy recently. However, it's still kind of warm and the humidity is so high, at least according to accuwheather. This is a confusing time for me because I've been so used to wearing shorts for the past 4 months, it seems uncomfortable to put long pants on. Plus, I've been walking around in flip-flops for 4 months too and it seems a pain in the arse to put socks on. So what I seem to do in this transitionary period is continue to wear the shorts and the flip flops, but carry around a jacket. Kinda weird, I know, but transitionary periods always are.

 

[Evo]

Lisab, if he's that much of a jack@ss, I would be worried. That's not normal past one day as a joke. I would key his truck, but that's just if I wanted to be nice. Egg his truck. ;)

Since you are 'friends" let the air out of his tires so that they are all nearly flat but driveable. Just an irritation like he's caused you. Other than that, coating his windshield with vaseline works.

 

[nuuskur]

Do NOT slash his tires.

 

[Enigman]

I am still in favor of a faked guilt trip. All others would seem to lead to an arms race. That or #8 by Simon.

 

[Borek]

Is there a parking space on both sides of your car? Can you park backwards? (No idea how to say it properly in English.) What I mean is - if he can block your driver's door, try to park your car in such a way he can block only the passenger side. Once his prank is useless, he may stop.

 

[256bits]

Just don't take his parking spot. Problem solved.

Although I have to agree with Evo, he can't be so much of a good friend if he acts like a jerk showing off his territorialism like that.
I think you have got yourself in a situation of office politics, and will have to gracefully exit, rather than escalate, since he's shown this behavior. It can get unfunny quite quickly.

Graceful exit - apologize for taking his spot without acknowledging it is his when you park there in the rain the next time. ie - it was gushing so much that you had no choice, he understandable, and you wish it could be sunny all the time so he would not be so inconvenienced. Something he can't argue with or would do for any girl in distress.

 

[nuuskur]

that's called "admitting defeat". Surely there's no such word in lisab's vocabulary :D

 

[leroyjenkens]

Park at a 45 degree angle across both spots.

 

[256bits]

that's called "admitting defeat". Surely there's no such word in lisab's vocabulary :D

Not really. The graceful exit is the beginning of a detente at work.
She makes sure on the next camping trip he gets the warm. or the skunky beer.

 

[Enigman]

During a break take your car and block his door?

 

[OmCheeto]

... He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.
...

A couple of years ago, my sister, nephew, and niece flew up to visit. They borrowed my brothers car, which has a rainbow license plate frame. My nephew refused to get in the car until the frame was removed. "I'm not getting in a GAY car. Someone might see me."

 

[lisab]

Is there a parking space on both sides of your car? Can you park backwards? (No idea how to say it properly in English.) What I mean is - if he can block your driver's door, try to park your car in such a way he can block only the passenger side. Once his prank is useless, he may stop.

Yes, I've done this.

 

[lisab]

Just don't take his parking spot. Problem solved.

Although I have to agree with Evo, he can't be so much of a good friend if he acts like a jerk showing off his territorialism like that.
I think you have got yourself in a situation of office politics, and will have to gracefully exit, rather than escalate, since he's shown this behavior. It can get unfunny quite quickly.

Graceful exit - apologize for taking his spot without acknowledging it is his when you park there in the rain the next time. ie - it was gushing so much that you had no choice, he understandable, and you wish it could be sunny all the time so he would not be so inconvenienced. Something he can't argue with or would do for any girl in distress.

You don't understand: he does not have a parking spot. No one does. It's first-come, first-served. If he wants to park in a particular place, he is welcome to do so...he just has to beat me into work. Apologize for parking in "his" spot? That's like apologizing for breathing "his" air. No way, no how.

I'm kind of surprised about some of the posts here...do you guys not kid around with your friends or family? He's not a jerk, he's a practical joker. There is no true animosity here!

 

[DiracPool]

There is no true animosity here!

You're the one that solicited evil thinkers, Lisa. Lol

 

[nuuskur]

lisab, you called upon evil thinkers :) Of course I understand it's all just for fun :P Do not back down, get him! (somehow)

 

[lisab]

lisab, you called upon evil thinkers :) Of course I understand it's all just for fun :p Do not back down, get him! (somehow)

I'm using the word "evil" in an almost rhetorical way, I don't want to cause any actual havoc in his life, no property damage.

An idea I had today might be just what I'm looking for. I strongly suspect it is a purely American thing, though. There are these, erm, items some guys hang from the back of their trucks. Disgusting, really. So I'll make a homemade pair for his truck, and install them without his knowledge. I'll let you use your imagination how they're going to look ;).

See? That's evil with no havoc, and no property damage.

 

[nuuskur]

Huge damage to pride, depending on what those gadgets are that are going to hang from the back of his ego :D

 

[Physics_UG]

So if he can park right next to your car it's not like he is much farther away from the door to the building. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[OmCheeto]

I'm using the word "evil" in an almost rhetorical way, I don't want to cause any actual havoc in his life, no property damage.

An idea I had today might be just what I'm looking for. I strongly suspect it is a purely American thing, though. There are these, erm, items some guys hang from the back of their trucks. Disgusting, really. So I'll make a homemade pair for his truck, and install them without his knowledge. I'll let you use your imagination how they're going to look ;).

See? That's evil with no havoc, and no property damage.

That was similar to one of my ideas, only much better.
Do it!

 

[Psinter]

Great thread, I love jokes:

1. Make some fake poop and splash it over his windshield to make it look like a huge Pterodactyl came and pooped his vehicle (with the mother of all poops). Then you can print and put this sticker on one of his windows:

http://opticalexpert.deviantart.com/art/Pterodactyl-man-1-297098172​

1. Make a fake windshield crack. Like http://www.instructables.com/id/fake-cracked-window/. Or if you have skills you could use windshield paint to make it look more real.
2. If you have money to spare you could costume one of your pets and do this:
3. Raise his wipers and put a set of eggs aligned. He will have to take them out before putting the wipers down.
4. If you have a good music equipment on your car leave one of your windows slightly opened and remotely turn on your stereo with some powerful bass that will make the whole floor and buildings shake when he gets close to your car. He will be scared if it happens and he sees no one inside.
5. You can customize 4 for sound effects and make firearms sounds. Very loud and accompanied by a shaking bass wave to make it feel real. You could also accompany them with police sirens and make it sound like a vehicle just crashed after a wild persecution. But very loud, like this: https://kiwi6.com/file/bunx0i84c6

 

[Borek]

Is there such a term as a "confrontational idea" in English?

 

[Medicol]

Is there such a term as a "confrontational idea" in English?

Yes, there is.
For example,

Ben: Do you think I am coming to a meeting with a confrontational attitude ?
Ashley: Well, you look so.
Ben: :D I am free at the moment.

 

[256bits]

I'm using the word "evil" in an almost rhetorical way, I don't want to cause any actual havoc in his life, no property damage.

An idea I had today might be just what I'm looking for. I strongly suspect it is a purely American thing, though. There are these, erm, items some guys hang from the back of their trucks. Disgusting, really. So I'll make a homemade pair for his truck, and install them without his knowledge. I'll let you use your imagination how they're going to look ;).

See? That's evil with no havoc, and no property damage.

Ha! I can see them being transferred to the back of your car someday.

 

[DaveC426913]

A lot of people don't seem to be getting into the light-hearted spirit of this challenge.
Go to the dollar store, buy

• a half dozen pool noodles,
• a box of plastic picnic knives and forks
• a roll of packing tape.

Jam the handles of the forks and knives in one end of the noodles. points sticking outward.
Tape the noodles to the driver's side of your car, sticking straight out like a sea urchin.
Dare him to cozy up to your driver's-side door.

 

[DaveC426913]

Go to the dollar store, buy

• a half dozen pool noodles,
• a roll of packing tape.

Make a couple of tank traps. (3 noodles, lashed at 90 degree angles)

Sprinkle them in the spot next to you.http://oldtoysoldierhome.com/images/3HH01.jpg http://oldtoysoldierhome.com/images/3HH01.jpg

 

[DaveC426913]

Go into your basement. Drag out any old empty spraypaint cans. Alternately, use silly string (it's Hallowe'en season).

Find some silly bits of widget like some old circuitboards - anything that looks like it could be a triggering mechanism - even if it's silly. Tape a AA battery on there for good measure.

Attach the "triggers" to the top of the spraycans.

Attach the boobytraps to the driver's side of your car, pointing outward.

 

[Pythagorean]

Steal his keys and move his car to another parking lot

 

[DaveC426913]

Make a gigantic bullseye - like 3 feet across - easily visible from "cruising" altitude.

Scribble some geometry notes on the corner of the bullseye (maybe a ballistic trajectory diagram). Make sure you include the GPS coordinates for the current parking spot where his vehicle is (which you can get off Google Maps).

Tape the target (carefully, respectfully) to his roof.

 

[Danger]

I'm disappointed by your new pacifism, Dave. :D
I remain a fan of the old chunk of Limburger cheese taped to the exhaust system, dead rodents stuffed into the heater vents, nitromethane in the fuel tank to melt his pistons, swapping on a stolen license plate...
I have a lot more, but those are the only socially acceptable and non-lethal ones that I can think of right now.

 

[Borek]

Wow, I had to check date on this thread ;)

Long time no see.

 

[DaveC426913]

I'm disappointed by your new pacifism, Dave. :D
...
I have a lot more, but those are the only socially acceptable and non-lethal ones that I can think of right now.

Remember that the revenge door swings both ways.
She ALSO leaves her car parked unattended for 8 hours.

All my tricks are designed to get the message across without encouraging retaliation and escalation. ;)

 

[lisab]

Remember that the revenge door swings both ways.
She ALSO leaves her car parked unattended for 8 hours.

All my tricks are designed to get the message across without encouraging retaliation and escalation. ;)

My intention exactly - this is a (truly) friendly game!

 

[jedishrfu]

My suggestion is to read the Wisdom of Psychopaths book by Dr Kevin Dutton.

Here's a review in Scientific American:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/wisdom-from-psychopaths/

and here's a talk by Dutton on his research:



based on this you could:
- place workhorses in the contentious parking place with danger tape
- place it in the space next to your car
- add a sign to make it an employee of the month spot or better yet
- make a workplace suggestion to reserve that spot for employee of the month
- put a fake boot on the car wheels
- call in a "parking lights are" on for his car so he has to go and check
- call in a "will the owner of car xxx please come to the parking lot"
- add a Uber/Lift mustache to his car
- add a promotional bumper sticker advertizing PF on his car and get a freebie from Greg

A cautionary word:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/419/petty-tyrant

 

[Danger]

All my tricks are designed to get the message across without encouraging retaliation and escalation. ;)

Well... you know how it is with escalation; it's all good fun until someone ends up on a slab, and then the other guy wins.

 

[OmCheeto]

...
A cautionary word:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/419/petty-tyrant

O.M.G.

Steven Raucci: Schenectady’s Satanic Maintenance Man
...
Raucci was finally brought down — indicted and convicted of 18 counts of arson, conspiracy, weapons and criminal mischief, and sentenced to 23 years in prison — after he was caught on tape discussing his methods and trafficking in explosives.
...

and

..."We felt like moving targets just waiting for Mr. Raucci to strike," said Ronald Kriss, who had testified that his pickup truck and his wife's vehicle were vandalized...

(ref)



Quite an incredible story.

And I though my bosses/coworkers were bad...