What does this eye contact signal mean?

AI Thread Summary
The discussion centers on the significance of intense eye contact during emotional connections, particularly in romantic contexts. Participants note that rapid, involuntary eye movements, likened to nystagmus, may indicate discomfort or heightened interest. There is a debate about whether such eye contact is flirtatious or uncomfortable, with some suggesting that it reflects mutual attraction. The conversation also touches on social dynamics, including the perceived roles of men and women in initiating interactions. Ultimately, the consensus leans towards interpreting the eye contact as a sign of interest, though the complexities of individual relationships complicate this interpretation.
Galileo
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I'm usually not too consciously aware of other people's body language.
I don't want to read, then interpret, then act on the interpretation of someone's
body language consciously. However, I've noticed something and I'm extremely curious as to what it means.

Whenever I really want to create an emotional connection with a person (usually girls I like) and open myself up, I find myself looking at her eyes intently and she looks into mine and we get a 'lock-on', if you know what I mean. And I noticed something I don't see when I'm talking casually to people and give eye-contact: Her eyes rapidly move from side to side. It's a very small motion, her eyes are still fixed at mine the whole time, but it's almost like they are vibrating.
It's an unconscious motion, no doubt of that.

I couldn't find what it means anywhere and I've seen happen this quite consistently.
Is it heightened interest, discomfort (ouch), or something else?

Anyone else noticed this?
 
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Nystagmus is an involuntary movement of the eyeballs.

The involuntary eye movements of nystagmus are caused by abnormal function in the areas of the brain that control eye movements.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003037.htm

You wanted the scientific explanation, right? :rolleyes:
 
In my experience it means they're a robot and about to explode. I couldn't make eye contact with real people though so I'd go with Evo if you're sure she's real.
 
Make sure she catches you checking her out from top to bottom.
 
Evo said:
Nystagmus is an involuntary movement of the eyeballs.



http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003037.htm

You wanted the scientific explanation, right? :rolleyes:

Hmmm, apparently I can give people disorders in the brain by staring at them.
I wonder how I should utilize my newfound powers. :biggrin::devil:
 
Don't look at me
 
Well, if she had nystagmus, she'd probably also be telling you that you were making her feel dizzy. :rolleyes:

More likely, she's not quite comfortable with the idea of staring into someone's eyes...she probably meets your gaze because she is attracted, but then isn't sure whether to keep staring or not. That, or it means you have a booger dangling out of your nose and she is trying not to look. :biggrin:
 
Galileo said:
I'm usually not too consciously aware of other people's body language.
I don't want to read, then interpret, then act on the interpretation of someone's
body language consciously. However, I've noticed something and I'm extremely curious as to what it means.

Whenever I really want to create an emotional connection with a person (usually girls I like) and open myself up, I find myself looking at her eyes intently and she looks into mine and we get a 'lock-on', if you know what I mean. And I noticed something I don't see when I'm talking casually to people and give eye-contact: Her eyes rapidly move from side to side. It's a very small motion, her eyes are still fixed at mine the whole time, but it's almost like they are vibrating.
It's an unconscious motion, no doubt of that.

I couldn't find what it means anywhere and I've seen happen this quite consistently.
Is it heightened interest, discomfort (ouch), or something else?

Anyone else noticed this?


Do this experiment, Galileo: try this your "lock-on" on a wide range of people. Male, female, young, old (oh c'mon, it's all in the name of science). I really don't have an expectation of what will happen, but if you only see this in females who are attracted to you, then maybe it's an unconscious signal of interest.

Btw, I notice when I talk to people, I don't lock on to one spot on their face. My eyes move around between the eyes and mouth.
 
Galileo, do you briefly lock eyes and then glance away or do you continue to stare into her eyes?

The first would be flirtatious and gain my interest, the second would make me uncomfortable and I would probably avoid the person staring at me that way. It would be very uncomfortable.

How long is the eye to eye "connection"?
 
  • #10
Evo said:
How long is the eye to eye "connection"?
As long as is required...
 
  • #11
Evo said:
Galileo, do you briefly lock eyes and then glance away or do you continue to stare into her eyes.

And do you blink while doing this? :biggrin:
 
  • #12
do you have a lazy eye? maybe she is having a hard time choosing which eye to look at.
 
  • #13
Moonbear said:
And do you blink while doing this? :biggrin:

No, just glance away and generate a subtle smile.

If you do so, the girl will know that you are a guy that is "on top of things"

marlon
 
  • #14
Evo said:
Galileo, do you briefly lock eyes and then glance away or do you continue to stare into her eyes.

The first would be flirtatious and gain my interest, the second would make me uncomfortable and I would probably avoid the person staring at me that way. It would be very uncomfortable.

How long is the eye to eye "connection"?

I 'm not really consciously aware of my own body language since all my attention is on her, but, I think when I do it I lose focus. I don't really focus on a point (her eyes) but get a more peripheral view to include the entire face, but the eyes are still the main attention-point, I always return there. I think it's for a few seconds, two or three, and we don't speak. After these few seconds of silence someone just has to say something and right before that eye contact is broke momentarily. But in those moments of silence, it's like a lot is being said, I just don't have a clue what.

By the way, it's by sitting next to each other, faces about 35-40 cm away. This is not looking from a distance.
 
  • #15
I'll never forget this creepy guy that came up to me once and said "I noticed you looking at me and undressing me with your eyes".

I replied "I don't have my glasses on, were you standing in here somewhere?" He just stuttered and walked away.

 
  • #16
Galileo said:
I 'm not really consciously aware of my own body language since all my attention is on her, but, I think when I do it I lose focus. I don't really focus on a point (her eyes) but get a more peripheral view to include the entire face, but the eyes are still the main attention-point, I always return there. I think it's for a few seconds, two or three, and we don't speak. After these few seconds of silence someone just has to say something and right before that eye contact is broke momentarily. But in those moments of silence, it's like a lot is being said, I just don't have a clue what.

By the way, it's by sitting next to each other, faces about 35-40 cm away. This is not looking from a distance.
Sounds like she's interested to me. Go for it! If you keep staring at her, you might give the poor girl brain damage, and you wouldn't want that on your conscience. :-p
 
  • #17
Evo said:
I'll never forget this creepy guy that came up to me once and said "I noticed you looking at me and undressing me with your eyes".

I replied "I don't have my glasses on, were you standing in here somewhere?" He just stuttered and walked away.

That guy is a loser, a guy should never talk to a girl first.
The girl has to initiate the conversation. Otherwise the guy comes over as being desperate, which in 99 % of the cases is in fact true.

Strong men don't talk, they are being talked to.

marlon
 
  • #18
Evo said:
I'll never forget this creepy guy that came up to me once and said "I noticed you looking at me and undressing me with your eyes".

I replied "I don't have my glasses on, were you standing in here somewhere?" He just stuttered and walked away.

That's classic. At least he had the balls to to come up to a total stranger and test his new line. Gotta give him some credit.
 
  • #19
marlon said:
That guy is a loser, a guy should never talk to a girl first.
The girl has to initiate the conversation. Otherwise the guy comes over as being desperate, which in 99 % of the cases is in fact true.

Strong men don't talk, they are being talked to.

marlon
Well, wait a minute. Isn't this a double standard? If the guy initiates the conversation he's desperate, so if the woman initiates the conversation isn't she desperate also?
 
  • #20
Galileo said:
I don't really focus on a point (her eyes) but get a more peripheral view to include the entire face, but the eyes are still the main attention-point, I always return there. I think it's for a few seconds, two or three, and we don't speak.
Then your eyes are probably appearing to move a little from side-to-side too as you adjust your focus a bit. Sounds like you're both doing the same thing.

After these few seconds of silence someone just has to say something and right before that eye contact is broke momentarily. But in those moments of silence, it's like a lot is being said, I just don't have a clue what.
Awwww...I think you have a clue. :wink:

Evo said:
I'll never forget this creepy guy that came up to me once and said "I noticed you looking at me and undressing me with your eyes".

I replied "I don't have my glasses on, were you standing in here somewhere?" He just stuttered and walked away.

:smile: I'd have been rolling on the floor laughing if I witnessed that! :biggrin:
 
  • #21
Evo said:
Well, wait a minute. Isn't this a double standard? If the guy initiates the conversation he's desperate, so if the woman initiates the conversation isn't she desperate also?

he's being facetious.
 
  • #22
Evo said:
Well, wait a minute. Isn't this a double standard? If the guy initiates the conversation he's desperate, so if the woman initiates the conversation isn't she desperate also?

No because the woman is the leading figure when it comes to the "invitation to the act of love". So therefore, she must be given the necesary means to "open the games". that's why she is not desperate. She is just playing her natural part in the complicated jungle of human interactions.


marlon
 
  • #23
Proton Soup said:
he's being facetious.

what's facetious ?

and don't tell me it means bantering
 
  • #24
Evo said:
Sounds like she's interested to me. Go for it! If you keep staring at her, you might give the poor girl brain damage, and you wouldn't want that on your conscience. :-p

Lol! Well, here's the thing. I do think there's heightened interest, but I`m not sure if it's attraction because they have expressed having no desire to explore a romantic relationship with me. The other objection is that they have a boyfriend (which weren't lies), and that maybe the reason they said having no interest. But they do want to maintain contact (and be friends I guess). Thing is, I don't.
 
  • #25
Galileo said:
Lol! Well, here's the thing. I do think there's heightened interest, but I`m not sure if it's attraction because they have expressed having no desire to explore a romantic relationship with me. The other objection is that they have a boyfriend (which weren't lies), and that maybe the reason they said having no interest. But they do want to maintain contact (and be friends I guess). Thing is, I don't.

ohhh boy, the "friends zone"...the worst place ever

marlon
 
  • #26
marlon said:
That guy is a loser, a guy should never talk to a girl first.
The girl has to initiate the conversation. Otherwise the guy comes over as being desperate, which in 99 % of the cases is in fact true.

Strong men don't talk, they are being talked to.

marlon

LOL, that's totally not me. If I like a girl, I let it be known. Right away and straight up.
You do not come across as desperate and needy if you are not desperate and needy and clearly express who you are. I trust that women will sense what I`m all about.

But I`m not a strong man, I have a big weakness for cute women.
 
  • #27
Galileo said:
I have a big weakness for cute women.

that's not a weakness, that's a normal property of a strong man

marlon
 
  • #28
marlon said:
No because the woman is the leading figure when it comes to the "invitation to the act of love". So therefore, she must be given the necesary means to "open the games". that's why she is not desperate. She is just playing her natural part in the complicated jungle of human interactions.


marlon

Marlon's right. Women absolutely play the lead roll in the dating drama, especially in the openning scenes.
 
  • #29
lisab said:
Marlon's right. Women absolutely play the lead roll in the dating drama, especially in the openning scenes.

I don't know what mating games you play lisa, but I'd like a video.
 
  • #30
lisab said:
Marlon's right. Women absolutely play the lead roll in the dating drama, especially in the openning scenes.

finally someone who "gets it"


you MUST be a real woman


marlon
 
  • #31
Kurdt said:
I don't know what mating games you play lisa, but I'd like a video.

Yep, I'm a REAL woman with spelling issues...
 
  • #32
*Spelling Nazi* :devil:
 
  • #33
If a man is too wimpy to approach me, I'm not interested. I want a confident man.

The most I will do is smile at him to let him know I'm interested, but he has to come to ME. They always do.
 
  • #34
Evo said:
If a man is too wimpy to approach me, I'm not interested. I want a confident man.

Its no wonder you never get any of the nerds you fancy. :-p
 
  • #35
Evo said:
If a man is too wimpy to approach me, I'm not interested. I want a confident man.

A confident man KNOWS that the woman will follow her natural impulses and therefore he doesn't NEED to approach her.

If he does needs to talk first, it means he is UNABLE to "arouse" the woman's natural instincts...

marlon
 
  • #36
Kurdt said:
Its no wonder you never get any of the nerds you fancy. :-p
Yeah, but they don't hang out in bars.

A reason why I don't hunt at bars anymore. I hunt online. :devil:
 
  • #37
marlon said:
No because the woman is the leading figure when it comes to the "invitation to the act of love". So therefore, she must be given the necesary means to "open the games". that's why she is not desperate. She is just playing her natural part in the complicated jungle of human interactions.


marlon

Wow, seriously? In my opinion it's totally the other way around.
Men court, women choose.
In almost every society, it's up to the man to openly express his desires and display vulnerability first.
In my experience, if a women thinks a guy is cute, she will not move up to him and
say what she thinks openly. She will subtly send body language cues (which most guys are oblivious to), trying to say: "Get over here and seduce me".
And this makes sense to me naturally. There has always been much more at stake for a
woman than a man in this game because of sex. A short but exciting experience for the man,
nine months of pregnancy and children for the woman. She can't afford to express her desires too directly. That's why men court, and women will check you out and assess you for your honesty to make sure you are reliable and not just trying to get into her pants.
 
  • #38
marlon said:
A confident man KNOWS that the woman will follow her natural impulses and therefore he doesn't NEED to approach her.

If he does needs to talk first, it means he is UNABLE to "arouse" the woman's natural instincts...

marlon
In a bar, where a woman has at least 20 guys vying for her attention, a woman does not have to do anything but smile to get a man. If he doesn't move, he loses.
 
  • #39
Galileo said:
Wow, seriously? In my opinion it's totally the other way around.
Men court, women choose.
In almost every society, it's up to the man to openly express his desires and display vulnerability first.
In my experience, if a women thinks a guy is cute, she will not move up to him and
say what she thinks openly. She will subtly send body language cues (which most guys are oblivious to), trying to say: "Get over here and seduce me".
And this makes sense to me naturally. There has always been much more at stake for a
woman than a man in this game because of sex. A short but exciting experience for the man,
nine months of pregnancy and children for the woman. She can't afford to express her desires too directly. That's why men court, and women will check you out and assess you for your honesty to make sure you are reliable and not just trying to get into her pants.
Yes, most woman will give a man the "ok" to approach if she is interested. In a sense, women have more power at this stage. But inside she's thinking, "oooh, he's cute". Men just need to be able to pick up on the cues they are getting. Of course, this is just a shallow physical attraction. When the guy comes over and starts talking, then you realize why he was standing all alone in the corner.
 
  • #40
Evo said:
In a bar, where a woman has at least 20 guys vying for her attention, a woman does not have to do anything but smile to get a man. If he doesn't move, he loses.

No, because the woman will be curious to find out why this one guy is not throwing himself at her feet.

Also, one can be pretty sure -statistically speaking- that 95 % of the guys that DO approach her will come back from an empty trip.

It's all about self respect and making things happen by emitting that typical cool male EM radiation that arouses true women

I never had to throw myself at any woman's feet not even at the ones of my current gf...
All the rest --> is just crap for pittyful people
marlon
 
  • #41
marlon said:
No, because the woman will be curious to find out why this one guy is not throwing himself at her feet.
Nope. A secure woman will not give him a second thought, she will look at the next guy. An insecure woman that can't deal with rejection might think about it, but do you want an obsessive, insecure woman?

Also, one can be pretty sure -statistically speaking- that 95 % of the guys that DO approach her will come back from an empty trip.
It all depends on what comes out of their mouth.

It's all about self respect and making things happen by emitting that typical cool male EM radiation that arouses true women
Nope. It may arouse desperate women though.
 
  • #42
beautiful people really don't have to try. the most sexually aggressive women I've known were fat and unattractive. and the most sexually aggressive men tend to be total douchebags.
 
  • #43
Proton Soup said:
beautiful people really don't have to try.
My point exactly

marlon
 
  • #44
Evo said:
Nope. A secure woman will not give him a second thought, she will look at the next guy. An insecure woman that can't deal with rejection might think about it, but do you want an obsessive, insecure woman?

It all depends on what comes out of their mouth.

Nope. It may arouse desperate women though.

I get the feeling you are just saying NOPE to everything that i say.

I feel insecure now

marlon
 
  • #45
Proton Soup said:
the most sexually aggressive men tend to be total douchebags.

I'm not sexually aggressive.
 
  • #46
WarPhalange said:
I'm not sexually aggressive.

that's great

so are you a douchebag by any chance ?

marlon
 
  • #47
marlon said:
No, because the woman will be curious to find out why this one guy is not throwing himself at her feet.
:smile:

Also, one can be pretty sure -statistically speaking- that 95 % of the guys that DO approach her will come back from an empty trip.
She's only going to pick one of them, but the one who never approaches completely eliminates himself from the pool.

It's all about self respect and making things happen by emitting that typical cool male EM radiation that arouses true women
:smile:

I never had to throw myself at any woman's feet not even at the ones of my current gf...
All the rest --> is just crap for pittyful people
marlon

Big difference between throwing yourself at her feet and walking up and talking to her. Throwing yourself at her feet is what the loser that Evo rejected did with that cheesy, conceited, self-serving line.

A woman might make the first move, but that can be as simple as eye contact across the room that issues the invitation to approach. Then the ball is in the guy's court to act on that invitation.
 
  • #48
marlon said:
that's great

so are you a douchebag by any chance ?

marlon

Way above your head, huh? It's okay, women love more than just humor.
 
  • #49
If a girl stared at me like that, I would be freaked out.
 
  • #50
Evo said:
Yeah, but they don't hang out in bars.

A reason why I don't hunt at bars anymore. I hunt online. :devil:

I can never go online to hunt. Never ever ever ever ever.
 

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