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What's the point?

  1. Jun 5, 2012 #1
    Hi,

    My university requires undergraduates to take completely major unrelated courses to develop well roundness, whatever. I decided to take a couple of Anthropology courses, in the hopes that I would have a better understanding of why people do what they do. I have now developed some vague answer to this question. I was reading about inequality, it's a universal constant and necessary for society to function. Whatever I'm an engineering major this is completely stupid. I continued to read and had a revelation if you will. I read the passage and was like :confused:. I read it again and started to cry. After reading it several times I just stared off into space and just thought about my life, what I have done with it, and I have yet to do.

    The passage discussed that how the elite (rich people) have lots of money and that the top 10 percent of society owns more assets than the bottom 90 percent combined. The society that we live in looks up to the elite (mostly through media this image is created). People believe that the elite should be looked up to because they achieved their status through their own hard work, intelligence, and achievements. Some (very very few) do illegitimately achieve their status this way, the majority do not. Inequality creates this ideology that the nonelite can achieve the status of the elite through there own achievements and hard work. Many people work and study in the hopes that one day they to will succeed (while performing functions necessary for society to function). This ideology acts as a cheap tool against the non elite to keep them working for the system instead of fighting against it. Our school systems also helps form this ideology within people's minds. From the very start kids are differentiated through test scores. The crazy kid who gets A's in every single class, has a perfect SAT score, is looked upon as someone who will go to a good university, get a good job, and make lots of money. This kid had to study a lot and make lots of social sacrifices in order to achieve this status and be looked upon as such. The kid who drops out of high school is frowned upon as some idiot who will be working minimum wage their rest of their life and laughed at. This kid didn't do as much work and made very few social sacrifices to study.

    I thought that this ideology was very true. Even if I made 200 k a year after I graduate college for the next 40 years of my life before I retire, even though I will probably never make half that in one year of my life, and didn't spend a single penny (again impossible), I'd still have only 1/200th of what the elite have sitting around in their mid 30s. No matter how much I study, how much I work, I'll most likely never achieve that status.

    High school was literally the worst years of my life. Pimples, heartbreak, friends, were the least of my concerns. I studied a lot and worked hard to get good grades. I made lots of social sacrifices. While all my "friends" were out drinking, smoking weed, etc. I was studying. It was ok though because those idiots would be going to a less prestigious school than me and be less sucssesfull than I am due to the hard work that I put in that they didn't. No longer believe this to be true though. No matter how much I fight, no matter how much I sacrifice, in the end we all die alike. How come, the young want to be old, the old want to be young? How come it's only once we live life do we all wish to withhold? If I spend the rest of my undergrad studying and working my butt off, sacrificing my social life, to get good grades (it will no longer be because I will achieve great sucessess as I know this is a impossible ideology to keep me performing functions necessary for society to function), sure I might get a better job than the students who didn't work as hard, or maybe have a slightly higher salary, but those students enjoyed college more than I did and had a good time. Those students will end up just like me though, dead once their lives are over. I really no longer see the point in trying to get to grades and working a lot. It's all I know though and am afraid I will continue to do so. If I do it will no longer be because I think I will rewarded more than the students that didn't.

    This summer I got a part time job (not exactly sure why, not exactly sure of why I do anything now) that I really didn't need. All the money I earn I have no need for. The amount of money I'm making is basically minimum wage. It just sits in the bank and does nothing making pennies. I don't see the point in making lots of money in the sense that I have very little more that I don't need and am not exactly sure what to do with it. Sure if I get a better job that makes more money than students that didn't work as much what would I do with it? I would be in the same situation. More money that I don't really need. At one point in my life I believed that you could never have enough money. But if you have more money than you need to support yourself all that money just sits in the bank and does nothing. I guess if I'm feeling sad or something I would have the option of buying something that makes me happy, but that feeling would be artificial and would go away once whatever product I just bought is no longer new. I could buy a more expensive car, bigger house, but for what reason? There isn't one...

    I really don't see the point in finishing my degree. I finish what I start though. But like I could work the job I have right now full time and support myself perfectly fine, making going to college to get a better paying job pointless. I might be able to support more than just myself with a good paying job but at the rate I'm going I wouldn't have anyone else to support. I have also come to the realization that there's a big difference between getting good grades (answering questions that already have answers) with an ability to actually do something. Through looking back on my high school career I have realized that any idiot could get an A in a course (if they aren't handicapped or something) if they really wanted to. Like I really look upon all my high school courses and don't understand why I was so stupid and wasn't able to get an A in every single course because I now look as at those courses as being very easy. I understand that it's all relative to the point of the life you are in and at the time it was hard, but I don't see why college would be any different. I don't see why college would be any different and that I wouldn't look upon the course work as very easy 6 years from now.

    I no longer see the point in working hard, going to school, and trying to achieve. As I know that I never will. I spent the last 13 years of my life chasing down something and I don't think it's even there. I spent every last ounce of energy to succeed and I don't even think it matters. But I know I tried to make a difference, my life has been committed, but I just don't know. But I know my time wont last forever, I die to make it better, but I just don't know...
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Jun 5, 2012 #2

    Evo

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    Staff: Mentor

    I strongly suggest that you get professional help, if you can't afford that, see a school counselor, if you go to church see if they offer counseling.
     
  4. Jun 5, 2012 #3

    Astronuc

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    Staff: Mentor

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