Nugatory said:
What makes that frame the "frame of reality", or any more or less "real" than the frame of the traveling twin? For that matter, how is it any more the "frame of reality" than the frame of the slimy and multiple-limbed aliens who may or may not live on a planet somewhere in the Andromeda galaxy and may or may not be sitting in an Andromedan classroom considering a thought experiment that starts "Two twins born on this planet called Earth, somewhere in the Milky Way galaxy..."?
I think calling "earth" the frame of reality is not only incorrect, but a bit insulting.
In the usual presentation of the "twin paradox", the frame where the Earth is stationary is considered an inertial frame. In reality, Earth isn't an inertial frame. However, this is an approximation. In the fantasy world of precision, observers on the surface of the Earth are undergoing a dynamic acceleration that probably would influence the measurements slightly. However, this isn't the metaphysical problem. As an approximation valid for this hypothetical example, the Earth is an inertial frame.
For purposes of discussion, let us approximate the surface of the Earth as an inertial frame. Corrections, if needed, can be done after we agree on what we are talking about.
Please understand that a frame can't be a single point. A frame is a set of hypothetical measuring instruments that are spread out over the entire universe. The frame where the Earth is stationary is not only those potential measuring instruments on the Earth's surface, but every potential measuring instrument that is stationary relative to the Earth's surface. Similarly, the reference frame of the rocket isn't just the measuring instrument on the rocket, but every potential measuring instrument that is stationary with respect to the rocket.
Note that when Einstein defined a frame, he really defined a hypothetical frame. There was a rigid frame spread out through the universe that held a clock and a ruler at every corner. So a frame is really a three dimensional array of measuring instruments stationary with respect to an object that I will call the observer. The observer can be a human being, but can really just the origin of the coordinate system of the frame.
The word frame has been defined. What is important in the twin paradox is the definition of an inertial frame. The question is not what is the real frame, but what is an inertial frame. There can be any number of frames equally inertial, but a criterion is needed to distinguish any inertial frame from an "accelerating frame".
So it isn't a matter of why the Lorentz transformation is valid in the Earth frame. What is really needed is a quantitative test for whether the Earth frame is approximately inertial.
Ready?
An inertial frame is a frame where each measuring instrument does not receive an impulse (FΔt) of linear momentum. If we have a set of measuring instruments distributed throughout the universe that is stationary with respect to each other, then this is a frame. What makes it inertial is that there is no impulse provided to any of the measuring instruments.
For that interval of time where no measuring receives an impulse (FΔt), then that frame is inertial. If each measuring instrument receives a nonzero impulse, so that the measuring instruments are still stationary with respect to each other, the measuring instruments become a new inertial frame.
The twin on Earth is part of an inertial frame that extends through the entire universe. No external force acts on him or any of the instruments that are stationary with respect to him.
The rocket twin between impulses is in an inertial frame. When a large impulse is given to him and the rest of his frame, he becomes part of a new inertial frame. The laws of special relativity apply to him for the duration between impulses. However, the laws of special relativity don't apply to him while he is under the influence of the impulse. He is in a different inertial frame before and after the impulse.
If one wants to guess at what rules the rocket twin during the impulse, one needs a condition in addition to the usual assumptions of special relativity. One possible "fix" to special relativity is that the clock can't be reset during an impulse. However, it is important to understand that the rocket twin can't be treated as being in one inertial frame no matter what is assumed.
Although this isn't totally Newtonian mechanics, as described in Principia, it isn't completely different from the situation in Newtonian physics. In Newtonian physics, the third law of motion does not apply to the rocket man during the impulse. Absolute space can be considered a frame where each measuring instrument is not given an impulse.
What makes Earth different in the example is merely that the Earth twin was not exposed to an external impulse that was sufficient to affect his measuring instruments. The rocket twin was given a very big impulse by his rocket engines. Without that big impulse, rocket twin couldn't turn around. The same would apply to any alien on any planet in the galaxy.
During the impulse, the rocket twin experiences a force which does not seem to come from any partner. The third law of motion is violated for the twin in the rocket. Any alien that experiences a big impulse will be in the same situation as the rocket twin.
Suppose the rocket engines of the rocket twin are never turned on once he blasts off. Therefore, rocket twin never experiences a large impulse. Now suppose that the Earth twin gets into a different rocket, fires the engines and catches up to the first rocket twin. Then the twin from Earth is younger.
The twin that receives the most impulse (i.e., FΔt) is the younger twin. It doesn't matter if he is in a rocket, pulled by a tractor beam or any other force. The one being jerked around the most is younger, the one isolated from impulse is older. That is the resolution of the twin "paradox".