Why Do Some Interpret Friendliness as Manipulation?

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The discussion revolves around the complexities of romantic feelings and friendships, particularly the confusion that can arise when one person misinterprets the other's signals. A user expresses frustration after confessing feelings to a girl who only wants to be friends, leading to questions about perceived manipulative behavior. Participants note that misunderstandings often stem from differing communication styles between genders, with some women being more touchy-feely, which may be misread as romantic interest. Others share personal experiences, highlighting that ignoring advances can sometimes lead to increased pursuit, while being overly friendly can lead to being categorized as just a friend. The consensus suggests that clarity in intentions is crucial, and being more assertive about romantic interest early on can prevent such misunderstandings.
Jin314159
Recently, I fell in love with a girl. I thought she liked me because she always laughs at my jokes and she touches me a lot. So I told her I liked her, she gets all weird says she only wants to be "friends."

So to all the ladies out there, what's going on? Why are you guys so manipulative?
 
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Right. They are evil. :devil:

No, I'm just kidding. :-p I thought, we are manipulative as well (well, I'm not, but some people are, male or female has nothing to do about it).

It happens sometime to me too. I confuse frienship and love. :redface: :blush:
Maybe you were too fast. maybe she was not sure about her feelings yet. If you hurry her, she'll step back :eek: and in that case, she will also pretend she never even considered the possibility. It is very common.
 
Girls are much more touchie-feely than guys are, even with friends. And what a girl might consider just meaningless flirtation, guys might take as a sign of actual interest. Its not that they are manipulative (in this case), its just that we're not on the same wavelength.
 
interesting, i always had the opposite problem with boys in my youth...it would seem the more i ignored guys the more they pursued me and the more flirtatious i became with them, the more they wouldn't pick up a clue...
 
It confuses me as well. I have given up on hints and have asked my girlfriend just to tell me what she wants and not to hint it. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
Kerrie said:
interesting, i always had the opposite problem with boys in my youth...it would seem the more i ignored guys the more they pursued me and the more flirtatious i became with them, the more they wouldn't pick up a clue...
Maybe I was more popular with the ladies in high school than I realized!
 
You were too nice to her. You let her become a "friend." That's where your problem is. You have to let her know you are interested in her, as a sexual partner, long before you become close friends. Don't let her make you into a girlfriend, it will never work out for you. Just become a bit more aggressive, but not to the point of scaring her.
 

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