Why do some people cheat on their partners?

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The discussion centers on the reasons behind infidelity in relationships and whether a partner's behavior can be blamed for someone cheating. It emphasizes that cheating is a conscious choice made by the individual, highlighting that it is not the fault of the partner, regardless of the circumstances. The conversation acknowledges that both partners share the responsibility for maintaining a healthy relationship through communication and effort. Some participants argue that even if one partner is lacking in certain areas, such as sexual compatibility, it is still inappropriate to cheat; instead, they should address the issues directly. The idea that alternative relationships could be a solution is mentioned but dismissed as impractical. Overall, the consensus is that while external factors may influence a person's decision to cheat, the act itself is a betrayal of trust that rests solely on the individual who chooses to engage in it.

could it be somehow someones fault when his/her partner cheat on him/her?

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En_lizard
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why some people cheat on their partners? don't you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
 
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No. Saying it's (even partially) someone's fault when said partner (in a declared monogamous relationship) cheats on them is no different from saying it's a woman's fault she got raped because she was dressed sexily or a man's fault he got mugged because he was wearing a Rolex.
 
Cheating is a matter of one 'choosing' to break a promise and violate the partner's trust and the integrity of the relationship. And perhaps about 50% of populations choose to do so - apparently with men in the 50+% range, and women in the 35-50% range. It seems in the US, that rate infidelity by women has increased and is catching up with that of the male population during the last decade or so.

Relationships, especially marriage, take hard work. Both partners have a responsbility to make the relationship work. Both partners have needs and wants, and it's up to each to make those known to the other partner in the relationship. Communication is absolutely necessary in a relationship.

If one wants to cheat, then one should break the relationship and then pursue the other relationship. But then one may find similar problems with that relationship.

Is it possible to find someone who is perhaps more suitable or compatible than one's partner? Yes - it is possible.
 
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Nope, it's squarely on the shoulders of the person doing the cheating. If the relationship is so bad you need to form another, put an end to the bad one first.
 
En_lizard said:
why some people cheat on their partners? don't you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
No, it's immature to cheat on your partner just because they cheated on you. Why would you want to lower yourself to their level? Either you can accept that your partner is a cheater or preferably you have enough self worth to dump them and find someone that has more respect for you. Of course if you don't care if they cheat, that's completely different, but I'm assumming you're talking about a normal monogamous relationship.

how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
If I was in a commited monogamous relationship, of course I would remain loyal to them.
 
I agree with most of you folks, but consider this possible situation:

Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

Now, I wouldn't call this morally correct, but it's definitely acceptable, for a certain group of people. Although, I believe intelligent people can always (with a considerable effort invested, of course!) work things out and make a relationship work properly.
 
Evo said:
If I was in a commited monogamous relationship, of course I would remain loyal to them.

"them"? :biggrin:

As said, cheating is a decision made by the person doing it. Ofcourse the partner can be a contributing factor to making the decision whether to cheat or not, but it is never their fault.
 
radou said:
Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

These kind of alternative relationships are rather like communism: they're interesting to talk about, and maybe even make sense in theory -- but they never really work in practice.

- Warren
 
chroot said:
These kind of alternative relationships are rather like communism: they're interesting to talk about, and maybe even make sense in theory -- but they never really work in practice.

- Warren

Same thing with monogamous relationships.
 
  • #10
Only if they chehated on you first in which case you should get them back by sleeping with their close friend and/or sister and/or mother.
 
  • #11
Beeza said:
Only if they chehated on you first in which case you should get them back by sleeping with their close friend and/or sister and/or mother.
I hope you're joking because that's the worst advice I've ever heard.
 
  • #12
People cheat because monogamy sucks.
 
  • #13
En_lizard said:
why some people cheat on their partners? don't you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
I voted definitely because I don't think you can factor out your partner's actions when examining the decisions of a cheater/non-cheater. I think they obviously are going to have a big effect on the outcome. Then again, there's a friend of mine who's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. I haven't known her that long but I figure she's either dating clones or it's mostly in her head. But still, let's not jump to conclusions and just write the partner out. I have a feeling this thread is about to become to literary equivalent of beating two dead puppies together. Poor monogamy. Poor freewill.
 
  • #14
Gelsamel Epsilon said:
People cheat because monogamy sucks.

I totally agree.

People cheat because there are so many chumps and plugs out there that after a year or two being with them you realize this. And when you meet someone that isn't a chump or plug, you just want him or her. People deny it all they want, but honestly, when I here a girl has a boyfriend, I don't even flinch because I know I can still get her.

Girls with boyfriends fly under the radar since most guys won't go for them.
 
  • #15
I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.
 
  • #16
jimmysnyder said:
I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.

Yeah, that's it. :rolleyes:
 
  • #17
radou said:
I agree with most of you folks, but consider this possible situation:

Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

Now, I wouldn't call this morally correct, but it's definitely acceptable, for a certain group of people. Although, I believe intelligent people can always (with a considerable effort invested, of course!) work things out and make a relationship work properly.
hmmm...when you're not interested in someone physically, they can be just your friend not spouse!:wink:
 
  • #18
Lisa! said:
hmmm...when you're not interested in someone physically, they can be just your friend not spouse!:wink:

I don't agree with that in general, but that's another pair of shoes. :smile:
 
  • #19
jimmysnyder said:
I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.

Reminds me of the story of Winston Churchill and the obnoxious woman who said to him "If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"

To which Churchill replied "If YOU were my wife, I'd drink it!"
 

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