Finally. It took me about 20 hrs to fly from Ohio to California.
That first post was kinda rushed. I decided, after finding a gazillion people in the bars at the Columbus airport, to spend my 5 bucks of booze money on some internet time instead, and get my PF fix. Didn't realize that when I started that post, I had less than 2 minutes left.
So, as I was attempting to say before, I, and every single other non-(white Caucasian) was "randomly selected" for special additional security. First I felt like lecturing the TSA guy on what "random" means. Instead, I tried to subtly hint at the low likelihood that I would try to hijack a plane that I had not even originally booked my tickets for. Eventually, I gave up and agreed to let the guy know if I felt he was touching me inappropriately, in sensitive areas.
This was the first snowstorm of the season, and United "ran out" of de-icer on day 2??!

What were they thinking ?
It's past 3 am here (6am, my biological time). I'm going to try and get some sleep.
Thanks y'all, for rallying around.
PS : I flew from Columbus to Chicago to San Jose.