Are You a Nerd? Check Out These Hilarious Nerd Jokes and Memes!

[Greg Bernhardt]

During a fight you throw a pair of dice (groaner?)

Got another one?

 

[fresh_42]

It was pretty boring in the cocktail bar this evening. Only a few guests, the music played In the army now and my friends were busy in a talk. I was bored. At the other end of the bar sat a couple and the female's top, if it could be called so, left little to imagine. So I reflected upon this manifold, its tangent spaces and the singularity in the middle, which this girl offered to be seen or divined.
(I'm still not sure, whether it's really a singularity ...)

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

when someone mentions java and coffee is the second thing that goes through your mind

 

[Janus]

"Flip-flops" doesn't bring up an image of footwear.

 

[strangerep]

It was pretty boring in the cocktail bar this evening. Only a few guests, the music played In the army now and my friends were busy in a talk. I was bored. At the other end of the bar sat a couple and the female's top, if it could be called so, left little to imagine. So I reflected upon this manifold, its tangent spaces and the singularity in the middle, which this girl offered to be seen or divined.
(I'm still not sure, whether it's really a singularity ...)

My familiarity with the experimental side of such research is limited, but I'm reasonably sure the singularity is somewhat further below the event horizon.

 

[Lisa!]

you consider yourself normal and the rest of the world weird.

 

[Ibix]

You carry an SA badge for expertise in a topic you studied (mostly) in your spare time?

 

[Janus]

You can explain what a Cartesian coordinate system is and know what a Cardassian is, but wouldn't recognize a Kardashian if you bumped into them on the street.

 

[fresh_42]

You can explain what a Cartesian coordinate system is and know what a Cardassian is, but wouldn't recognize a Kardashian if you bumped into them on the street.

Pun intended?

 

[fresh_42]

You cannot listened to (any!) politician without getting a rash.

 

[Electron Spin]

"Flip-flops" doesn't bring up an image of footwear.

wha' what tha'... And I thought I twaz' tha' only one!

Thank you Janus, Thank you for saving my miserable, flip flop'in,"JK'in", confused life! I owe you one!

Yours in deepest regards,
ES

 

[rootone]

You know you're a nerd if...

you love relational databases, but find relationship and dating sites scary.

 

[Larry Gopnik]

You know you're a nerd if...

... You're sat reading and posting in off topic discussion on a Physics Forum!

 

[fresh_42]

YAN ...

... if it always takes you two thoughts to understand what is meant when the news anchor uses the word conservative.

 

[cnh1995]

You know you're a nerd if ...you check this thread every time you log in and hit 'like' on almost every new post...

 

[Fervent Freyja]

You admire the writer's callus on your middle finger?

 

[George Jones]

... if even your somewhat nerdy significant other thinks that you're obsessed.

A few weeks my daughter's ringette team (like ice hockey, but with a different "puck") played in a tournament in another town. An official asked me "Would you open and close one of the penalty box doors during the next game?" He, continued "I'll be in there with you, but I'll be running the clock." After I agreed, my wife (who has degrees in both physics and engineering) interjected "Just don't let him read his physics while he is in there!"

 

[fresh_42]

... if even your somewhat nerdy significant other thinks that you're obsessed.

A few weeks my daughter's ringette team (like ice hockey, but with a different "puck") played in a tournament in another town. An official asked me "What you open and close one of the penalty box doors during the next game?" He, continued "I'll be in there with you, but I'll be running the clock." After I agreed, my wife (who has degrees in both physics and engineering) interjected "Just don't let him read his physics while he is in there!"

I have a feeling why they didn't offer you the clock management ...

 

[mfb]

I have a feeling why they didn't offer you the clock management ...

If he reads in there, time dilation should be negligible.

 

[jim hardy]

A girl asks you to carry her books and you ask "Where To ? "

 

[fresh_42]

A girl asks you to carry her books and you ask "Where To ? "

I once sat late in the evening at the bar in a cocktail bar, as all of a sudden the woman next to me, who was a complete stranger, asked me to pay attention to her purse while she went outside for some minutes ... - I know what you mean.

 

[dkotschessaa]

You still get upset thinking about the library of Alexandria.

 

[MsDeckard]

I started uni this year and still don't know where the bar is? Or is this just really dull...:(

 

[dkotschessaa]

I started uni this year and still don't know where the bar is? Or is this just really dull...:(

How about

"The only bars you car about are over vectors."

eh? eh? get it?

 

[Charles Link]

How about

"The only bars you car about are over vectors."

eh? eh? get it?

I think I can do even better=when a "contraction" is the difference between the time ordered and normal ordered second-quantized field operators instead of a woman going into labor. (Google Wick's theorem, etc. ) LOL

 

[fresh_42]

I think I can do even better=when a "contraction" is the difference between the time ordered and normal ordered second-quantized field operators instead of a woman going into labor. LOL

Life's really tough if you associate a kind of duality with every word that starts with co...

 

[Charles Link]

Life's really tough if you associate a kind of duality with every word that starts with co...

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

 

[fresh_42]

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

I don't want to publicly speak about secrets, but is there an internal competition among physicists under way about how many different indices (at least 8 in my count) and symbols (at least eight again) a single operator can carry?

 

[Charles Link]

I don't want to publicly speak about secrets, but is there an internal competition among physicists under way about how many different indices (at least 8 in my count) and symbols (at least eight again) a single operator can carry?

@fresh_42 A side item: Please read your messages/inbox. I included you in a conversation (about an hour ago) about an interesting integral I computed a few years ago. Would enjoy your feedback.

 

[Astronuc]

You still get upset thinking about the library of Alexandria.

I thought that made one worldly and cultured, or at least a history aficionado.

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

That's Wicked.

 

[jtbell]

...you've entertained the idea of a trip to New York City for New Year's because the Second Avenue Subway is opening on Jan. 1.

(unfortunately all the hotels seem to be booked up for other reasons)

 

[dkotschessaa]

I thought that made one worldly and cultured, or at least a history aficionado.

Sure. But I mean. I get really, really upset thinking about it!

ALL THOSE BOOKS

 

[Astronuc]

Sure. But I mean. I get really, really upset thinking about it!

ALL THOSE BOOKS

I share those sentiments about the loss of irreplaceable manuscripts.

The Library of Alexandria was one of many libraries, but surely there were some unique documents.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_libraries_in_the_ancient_world

 

[Aufbauwerk 2045]

Many popular human activities seem pointless and therefore a waste of valuable time and energy.

The idea of doing something unproductive just for "fun" does not make sense.

Unregulated or in other words free-form dancing makes no sense. One can understand highly regulated dancing, where all the steps are predetermined. But otherwise on what basis should we decide what to do next?

You are a student, alone in your dorm room, thinking about a logic problem, when a girl you like enters your room and stretches out on your bed, smiles, and says in effect she could use some intimate company, and you just look at her, and wonder why she is telling you of all people. You feel relieved when she leaves.

You can no longer relate at all to dogs, because one evening you were sitting on the sofa watching a science fiction movie, and your dog was beside you, and you looked at your dog, and you realized you would never be able to discuss it with him. Your relationship with your dog was without intellectual content and therefore served no useful purpose. You were struck by the sadness of it all. Poor dog.

 

[OCR]

Some...

...human activities seem pointless and therefore a waste of valuable time and energy.

You mean... like carrying Coals to new Castle ? ...

...when a girl you like enters your room and stretches out on your bed, smiles, and says in effect she could use some intimate company...

Lol... I always thought you were supposed to...

... feel relieved when she leaves.

But otherwise on what basis should we decide what to do next?

Aah yes!... seems that might require information from the future... but,
I'll bet Poor Dog knows, and he just ain't telling...

 

[Bandersnatch]

You put pokemon references into your cosmology papers:
http://www.physics.umn.edu/classes/...ds/399811-FriedmanEqDerivation.pdf?download=1

We see that we have reached an expression that have clearly the form of the energy conservation equation. It is possible to distinguish the terms of the kinetic energy and the potential energy, but we see that a wild integration constant have appeared so we have to interpret its meaning.

 

[Borg]

When you post things like this - https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/random-thoughts-part-6.875108/page-153#post-6009103

Thanks to @fresh_42 for showing me this thread.

 

[gleem]

When you check the accuracy of the miles per gallon monitor in you car.

 

[berkeman]

When seeing a new antenna type stops you in your tracks while you try to figure out what it is for and why it's shaped that way...

 

[Borg]

When you check the accuracy of the miles per gallon monitor in you car.

You mean like this?
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/100-000-miles-of-driving-visualized.844560/

 

[pinball1970]

You still get upset thinking about the library of Alexandria.

Or the fact that Galois was a rubbish shot.

 

[gleem]

You mean like this?
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/100-000-miles-of-driving-visualized.844560/

WHOA! you are way nerdier(?) than me. On a nerd scale of 1 to 10 a definite 10.

 

[Craftek_Ana]

- You google, a LOT.

-- You have to mentally rephrase what your going to say so some people will understand.

 

[Aufbauwerk 2045]

you consider yourself normal and the rest of the world weird.

That's because the rest of the world is weird.

 

[nuuskur]

..think the largest number of any object you can have is 255

 

[Demystifier]

... if you know that bracket is not a cat with a bra.

 

[Demystifier]

... if you think that Google is the most frequently used internet site (which in fact is Facebook).

 

[Demystifier]

... if you don't think that negative energy can be created by negative thoughts.

 

[Ibix]

... if you think that Google is the most frequently used internet site

You know you are a nerd in an office full of non-nerds when one of the phrases you use most often is "what happens if you type that into Google?" Many of them get the point. Some of them give me the impression that they think Google will explode if they type a technical question. Find the football scores? Yes. How do I do a t-test in R? Let's ask Ibix just in case...

 

[Aufbauwerk 2045]

... if you know that bracket is not a cat with a bra.

The word "bracket" in math is fine. But my least favorite nomenclature in physics is the "bra" and "ket" in QM. But it's funny sometimes. There was a guy in my intro to QM course who did not like saying the word "bra" using its standard pronunciation, so he pronounced it to rhyme with the first syllable in "bracket." But he was the only one, and he always hesitated before saying it at all. It was obvious he was uncomfortable.