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An Ode To Us Nice Guys

  1. Mar 8, 2005 #1
    Here's an ode to use nice guys. I know I'm not the only one out here.

    Ode To Nice Guys
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Mar 8, 2005 #2

    Evo

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    Personally I prefer nice guys. I want a guy that treats with me respect, and shows me love and affection.

    I think any girl worth having will feel the same way.
     
  4. Mar 8, 2005 #3

    brewnog

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    I stopped reading at the bit about sitting patiently outside changing rooms.
     
  5. Mar 8, 2005 #4

    loseyourname

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    I remember discussing this piece a couple years back somewhere else. The general conclusion came to is that that guy is a whiner and deserves what he gets. He isn't just a "nice" guy; he's a pushover. When you allow women (or anyone, for that matter) to walk on you, you get walked on.
     
  6. Mar 8, 2005 #5

    Gza

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    I agree with loseyourname. The "nice guy" he describes, sounds like a loser-type, who doesn't have much of a way with women, and resorts to following them around, and moping about how he can never get into a relationship, when it is really HIM who set the boundaries for a platonic relationship based on his interaction with women.
     
  7. Mar 8, 2005 #6

    I didn't know there was a difference.
     
  8. Mar 8, 2005 #7
    I married a very handsom party-boy..20 yrs later he is still just that. So I divorced him. Now I'm looking for a nice guy...someone who cares more about the world and less about his haircut.
     
  9. Mar 8, 2005 #8

    Evo

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    Being a nice guy should not mean being a spineless slave with no self confidence. I haven't had a chance to read the link, but I guess that's what that guy is. Doesn't sound like a "nice guy" as much as a doormat.

    Chrono, a "nice guy" should be confident and self assured and not allow himself to be walked on. Being nice in my book means polite and thoughtful.

    hypatia, my ex-husband looked in the mirror more than I did. I know what you mean, he never grew up either.
     
  10. Mar 8, 2005 #9

    jcsd

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    Hmm, someone bald then :tongue2:
     
  11. Mar 8, 2005 #10
    I read the link and that guy isn't so bad. He just likes a girl, and even though she doesn't like him, he's still nice to her. I think the part about going to the party is a bit lame... but whatever. he doesn't deserve to be walked all over. He deserves someone who will appreciate him for trying to so hard. What do you expect a guy to do? He isn't going to be any better off with girls if he decides to be uncaring, unsympathetic, pushy, or mean. Obviously he's just not the type to be more aggressive. You have to appreciate that, and just be glad that he's at least nice.
     
  12. Mar 8, 2005 #11
    Isn't that the kind of guy the girl described in the write-up?

    Why does everyone always confuse being nice with being weak?
     
  13. Mar 8, 2005 #12

    arildno

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    It is our time's version of the bully's self-justification:
    To dislike hitting someone is to be cowardly.
     
  14. Mar 8, 2005 #13

    You see this is where 'nice guys' fail. To guys, a nice guy isn't confident or self-assured, because those traits are associated with arrogance, and how could an arrogant guy ever be nice?

    What most guys don't understand is that without the confidence, nothing else you do means anything. Thats why 'jerks' who are arrogant and confident, always win out. PLain and simple. Confidence wins the day every time. The other things, don't mean anything without that.
     
  15. Mar 8, 2005 #14

    arildno

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    From my knowledge, women prefer men who are self-confident AND nice, whereas teenage girls fall in love with jerks.
    Self-confidence is not the same as the willingness to bully others.
     
  16. Mar 8, 2005 #15

    I didn't say it was.
     
  17. Mar 8, 2005 #16

    Moonbear

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    I haven't read the link yet, but I don't need to in order to address this comment. Being confident and self-assured is NOT synonymous with arrogance. Confidence is attractive, arrogance is a turn-off, and women do know the difference.
     
  18. Mar 8, 2005 #17
    I think I'm a nice guy and confident without arrogance.

    and I hope you a-holes think I'm superior.
     
  19. Mar 8, 2005 #18
    There are somethings guys get confused with nice, and something guys don't realize aren't nice... but being nice is better, no matter what. you should be just nice, without compromising yourself, thats the way to be.

    ((Men.... :uhh: I swear every day i'm closer and closer to becoming a lesbian.))
     
  20. Mar 8, 2005 #19

    Moonbear

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    Worse, from that rant, he came across as utterly patronizing (especially with that line about going to bars with women to provide a buffer against the rest of the evil males...paraphrased here). A combination of that, and a pathetic puppy who follows women around uninvited. Why would you sit outside the changing room if you're not dating them and haven't been invited along? For that matter, I wouldn't drag along someone I was dating while I shopped for clothes and expect them to sit around outside the changing room. That's borderline creepy, not to mention stupid, because it just sets you up to be asked the inevitable question, "What do you think of this outfit on me?" and the danger of having to answer, "It makes your butt look fat." Maybe once you're in a secure relationship and trust each other's opinions on clothing, you might ask him to hang around and give you advice about which outfits look best on you as you try them on, but you don't do that when you're just starting out dating, and certainly not if you're not even dating!
     
  21. Mar 8, 2005 #20

    And see what being nice has gotten you?

    What did those LEGO bricks do for you?
     
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