Cause His Wife won't let him.. (Am I in trouble now?)Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why don't you ever see the headline "President Bush Admits to Imbecility" ?
So you can see the address with your ears...it's called "visual accoustics"Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
And what other shape would you expect a Box-ing ring to be...Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is a boxing ring square?
Cause then it wouldn't be a plane, but a 'flying black box' and no one would know where it was, ever!Originally posted by jimmy p
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Well water falls often enough, and snow certainly drops when avalanching, Cheese, I guess I just don't know!Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
You end up seeing behind you, and never know where you are going, ever again!Originally posted by FZ+
What happens when creativity and surgery combine?
You offer him your own services as an amateur surgeon to remove his bill so that he no longer resembles a quack.Recently while sitting at a table outside Le Cafe Du Lapin Dormant I had the chilling experience of noticing that all the customers at all the other tables were drinking with their left hands, while I remained the only right handed cup manipulator of the lot. Calling to the waiter I said: " Tout le monde est gauche ici, non?" To which he responded: "Dude! Speak English! Your French like, so sucks!" Why did I tip him with a viagra tablet?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
After your (very) Creative Surgeon has re-reversed your head, so you can see ahead of you again, what do you do with His Bill?
Well for the very same reasons I would have, as it is abundantly clear that the man is "backed up" or "pent up" or "whatever", you know what I mean! (Isn't it always like that at that Cafe du la lapin dor-mort)Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently while sitting at a table outside Le Cafe Du Lapin Dormant I had the chilling experience of noticing that all the customers at all the other tables were drinking with their left hands, while I remained the only right handed cup manipulator of the lot. Calling to the waiter I said: " Tout le monde est gauche ici, non?" To which he responded: "Dude! Speak English! Your French like, so sucks!" Why did I tip him with a viagra tablet?
This is a common illusion that we have debunked on several occasions in the Skepticism an Debunking Forum. The Ipod is not, in fact, without a power source. The youth/Stalker is farting into a methane storage chamber located in a discrete place on the bottom of the unit when you aren't looking. Recently when I was strolling down the Champs-Elysees I found an unread chinese fortune on the sidewalk, which I hastily snatched up and quickly deposited into the first mailbox I came to.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While visiting with my long lost Stalker, down in Africa (the Continent, not the country) I happened to notice that the youths Ipod was running, apparently without batteries, how the heck didn't he do that?
Neither! I want to Eat the WHOLE COOKIE!Originally posted by a "Frenching" zoobyshoe
Recently when I was strolling down the Champs-Elysees I found an unread chinese fortune on the sidewalk, which I hastily snatched up and quickly deposited into the first mailbox I came to.
Would you prefer paper or plastic?
Well, it has gone through someone's digestive system and is now somewhere beneath the surface world of daylight and cafes, mixed in with all the rest of the stuff in the unpleasant subterranian streams of the sewers of Paris. Recently it floated by the lair of the Phantom Of The Opera who was too busy pouring over the score of Aida to notice, or care if he did.I see from the television that Hollywood recently disgorged another would be blockbuster film: The Last Samurai In Ontario staring the lovely Tom Cruise as Mr.Robert Parsnips, The handsome Nichole Kidman as *&^^#%@&%^%^$ the woman of his dreams, and the hirsuit Alec Baldwin as Zoobie The Boot, the eloquent scoundrel known for his eccentric "eating w/o reading" habits. All based on the novel by James Pea. I always wonder how faithful these films are to the book? Have you both seen and read?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Funny the other day, while checking my mail, a 'fortune paper' (out of a fortune cookie) showed up in the mailbox, it read, "An aquaintance of yours, (Zoobyshoe) will be writting you a "Stupid Quention" telling you that this unread[/color] fortune paper is coming your way" this "begging the Quetion" where the heck is the rest of MY COOKIE?
Well, I have always seen to be well read, but this Anatomy of a Story that you so pleasantly imbibe upon, seems reminicent of another's Tale of Yore that expounds upon the plesantries of 'Yore', and the delights of the many who suffered the presence of the multitudes that eat at the arrival of the foodstuffs, having eaten, then ate, but all inclusive was this date, hence...well you know the rest of it...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I see from the television that Hollywood recently disgorged another would be blockbuster film: The Last Samurai In Ontario staring the lovely Tom Cruise as Mr.Robert Parsnips, The handsome Nichole Kidman as *&^^#%@&%^%^$ the woman of his dreams, and the hirsuit Alec Baldwin as Zoobie The Boot, the eloquent scoundrel known for his eccentric "eating w/o reading" habits. All based on the novel by James Pea. I always wonder how faithful these films are to the book? Have you both seen and read?
Yes, but I'll see if I can get even cheaper below:Eh?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...don't you?
(cheap quetion!)
Well certainly YES! it is sooooo obvious that it behooves you to admit to having had some sort of "Spittle" episode, or something, as clearly the depth of your question indicates some sort of Idiot Savant State, that you must have achieved in an adulterated state, as it clealry, oh so very, very clearly isn't your normal state of intelligence, someone who persistently uses, and employs, Frangible nuts, in his intumescent mind, must be of such a caliber of personality, that such profundidty is belieing the subverted realities of the perversions of intellectualities that arise, in someone else.Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Eh?
I have only seen the previews, but I think the performance by the lovely Tom Cruise as the Last Samurai In Ontario looks to be overwrought.Recently in the Skepticism and Debunking forum, Tsunami Seeking, of all people, started a thread on the OZE, the Out-of-Zoobie-Experience, which she described as the temporary inability to acertain the location of small household pets.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So, now that Y'all knows my entire lifes history (ya, I know, short version) what do you think? (or should I be asking "can you?" but that would be rude!)
To keep you from escapingOriginally posted by jimmy p
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
This is to prove to the liquor store owners their employees can do simple math. The government's in on it, yes.Who is responsible for the resemblence between my drivers lisense photo and a newt?Originally posted by jimmy p
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Yes, because of the zen-like contradiction of fat people having more skin to dip than skinny people: fat people are skinier. Weird, eh?Who is responsible for liquor being quicker?Originally posted by jimmy p
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Well it's only a rumor, but I heard it was my fault...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who is responsible for liquor being quicker?
No doubt you lost your liquor fortune (Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka, wasn't it?) by succumbing to your own product.Once, when I was succumbing to some of your product, I found myself unable to stand on the normal, and, that being the case, I began to crawl on all fours toward my last known residence. Since I happened to already be at my last known residence when this journey started, I ended up getting further and farther away until I found myself sitting at a table outside the Cafe du Tortue Courante ordering another White Russian made with Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka. Problems arose when it turned out they did not accept the Zoobocard and wanted Master- or Visa- card. (This is why I generally frequent Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant.) I was forced by these circumstances back into an unwilling state of sobriety during which I began plodding back home. It was then that I found an unread Chinese Fortune on the side walk. I though to myself, "Why read it? It will only collapse the wavefunction of my life into some specific path. As it is, as far as I know, anything could happen." I continued from there on to Pisa, where I repelled down the wrong side of the famous tower. That was a long drop. I think I still have rope burns. I won't do that again. Have you ever operated a forklift?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If I am the guy who is responcible for "Likher...Being Quicker", what the heck am I doing *HERE*?
Yes! (The operable 'word' is "operate" as of course cause anyone can drive a fork, and no doubt, even a child can lift one to their mouths, so why he would even ask the quetion, well, its that Vodka, I heard, 1000% proof by volume (and weight) and apparently that is why the wouldn't take his ZOOBOCARD® ("Where life is a treasure of 'things' that you buy!" Pricey! things") as he is apparently 'maxed outed' to the 'max' that it can be 'outed', sooooooo...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Once, when I was succumbing to some of your product, I found myself unable to stand on the normal, and, that being the case, I began to crawl on all fours toward my last known residence. Since I happened to already be at my last known residence when this journey started, I ended up getting further and farther away until I found myself sitting at a table outside the Cafe du Tortue Courante ordering another White Russian made with Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka. Problems arose when it turned out they did not accept the Zoobocard and wanted Master- or Visa- card. (This is why I generally frequent Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant.) I was forced by these circumstances back into an unwilling state of sobriety during which I began plodding back home. It was then that I found an unread Chinese Fortune on the side walk. I though to myself, "Why read it? It will only collapse the wavefunction of my life into some specific path. As it is, as far as I know, anything could happen." I continued from there on to Pisa, where I repelled down the wrong side of the famous tower. That was a long drop. I think I still have rope burns. I won't do that again. Have you ever operated a forklift?
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
For the second time in my long memory, Supermentor Tom has entered this thread realizing that the answer to a particular quetion that has been troubling him can be found nowhere else on the web.Originally posted by Tom
If chroot loves Google so much, why doesn't he marry it then?
edit: Added a link so you wouldn't think I am crazy.
So Chroot won't spend any more time chasing after his wife...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why doesn't Tom want us to think he's crazy?
Cause we don't like admiting that it is usually 95% water...Originally posted by jimmy p
Why do we call beer alcohol when practically every other alcohol is poisonous??
I have tried to scrute this quetion for a while now, but I believe it is inscrutable. (It's that comma. Turns it into some kind of Canadian koan.)Today I was reading the poetry of W.B. Yeats and couldn't make any sense out of it, although it seemed full of pain and urgency. Do you have to be Irish or just intoxicated?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is water, toxic?
Irish, intoxicated, and in a fight! otherwise it just isn't there...or so I've heard..Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Today I was reading the poetry of W.B. Yeats and couldn't make any sense out of it, although it seemed full of pain and urgency. Do you have to be Irish or just intoxicated?
.detsixe sknikhcnum esoht wenk reven I tub yrros m'IIvan Seeking recently posted a link to an article which reported that a whale had spontaneously exploded in the streets of Taiwan. That being the case, why is it people deny the existence of spontaneous human combustion?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
"Begging the Quetion" of "Why", "Why oh-why-oh-why" is it that, not a sigle one of the rest of you ever bothers to think of the people inside the screen!, all of you type like this, forward pointing, and force the little beggars to read everything backwards! I! amongst all of you, stand alone, at being kind, and considerate, towards these little munchkinks, but all of you? HAH! Nothing! not a thing! not a shred of kindness! consideration! thought! not even a little modicum of niceness! not in a single one of you, why?
Cause, clearly, based upon the evidence, (you know the F-A-C-T-S) it's WHALES that do it, NOT people! Heck I even watched the video through Yahoo!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Ivan Seeking recently posted a link to an article which reported that a whale had spontaneously exploded in the streets of Taiwan. That being the case, why is it people deny the existence of spontaneous human combustion?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Cause, clearly, based upon the evidence, (you know the F-A-C-T-S) it's WHALES that do it, NOT people! Heck I even watched the video through Yahoo!
Why is it that poeple like Zoobyshoe, always dismissive, always doubting, never believing anything you tell them, 'Sarcaustic' to the nth degree, never seem to know about the "little" people?
Eh? I think someone just smoked him selfAjoint.Recently on a trip to the antartic aboard the steamer Whazzup I came down with a bad case of motion sickness, sometimes referred to under these circumstances as Mal de Mer and although I've been back for a while I can't seem to shake the symptoms: nausea, cookie tossing, mild headache. The doctors here at area 51 seem less interested in curing it that studying it. Anyone know any home remedies for land-extended sea sickness?Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Why do the little people not recognize the divinity of Zooby?
Don't you just lov it when someone answers his own quetion...Eh? I think someone just (needs to have)[/color] smoked him selfAjoint.Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently on a trip to the antartic aboard the steamer Whazzup I came down with a bad case of motion sickness, sometimes referred to under these circumstances as Mal de Mer and although I've been back for a while I can't seem to shake the symptoms: nausea, cookie tossing, mild headache. The doctors here at area 51 seem less interested in curing it that studying it. Anyone know any home remedies for land-extended sea sickness?
"Ungk...Can't we all just get along?"Recently on a voyage to the antarctic aboard the steamer Buoyant Betty, there was a passenger named Richard C. @4^^&%%. At least that's what we called him behind his back, since no one could figure out how to pronounce his last name despite having him tutor us in it several times. Some suspected a speach impediment but I doubted that since every other word I heard him say was perfectly clear. He was frequently seen to be eating celery stalks. He also smoked a pipe, which is more and more rare among the younger generations. I estimate his age to have been about nine years old. Once I found him reading a copy of The Elements and Essentials of Tone Production In Gourds and Other Vegetation Used as Musical Instruments among the Aboriginal Peoples of Eastern Vancouver Island, one of my favorite books on the subject. Did you notice anything else interesting about him?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So now that the issue of Zoobyshoe...
...was it really a collusion?? or just a conspiracy??
Well, I sort of thought that you having your finger up his nose, was just a little to personal, for me, but I wasn't going to say ANYthing, but you asked...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently on a voyage to the antarctic aboard the steamer Buoyant Betty, there was a passenger named Richard C. @4^^&%%. At least that's what we called him behind his back, since no one could figure out how to pronounce his last name despite having him tutor us in it several times. Some suspected a speach impediment but I doubted that since every other word I heard him say was perfectly clear. He was frequently seen to be eating celery stalks. He also smoked a pipe, which is more and more rare among the younger generations. I estimate his age to have been about nine years old. Once I found him reading a copy of The Elements and Essentials of Tone Production In Gourds and Other Vegetation Used as Musical Instruments among the Aboriginal Peoples of Eastern Vancouver Island, one of my favorite books on the subject. Did you notice anything else interesting about him?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the last stage of the costruction of "Tickle Me Elmo"® really the builders giving him two test-tickles?
How else would anyone know how to spell it...Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the people on the inside of the screen, live, in an electric vacuum of soundless space, what do they really think we are doing, when they look throught the little black dots they create, on the screen (to see out) and see our mouths "just'a flappin away"...HUH?
You resolve the resolution to resolving the resolution problem, by way of, a resolution that resoves your resolution problems, then, once resolved, you realize that you mouths "flappin" is really simply because you forgot to breath through you nose, so when the little people inside the screen see you, they really think that you are...!Originally posted by firefly
What if you think there is something distinctly fishy going on in between the pixels of your screen, but you have such high resolution you are unable to hook into it, and unfortunately the resolution does not apply to the question in question?
