Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

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The discussion revolves around a playful and humorous exchange in a new forum, encouraging participants to ask "stupid questions" and receive equally silly answers. Participants engage in lighthearted banter, often incorporating puns and wordplay, such as discussing the time it might take to reach 1,000 posts or the best superpower, with self-levitation being a favorite. Questions range from the absurd, like the fate of old forums, to whimsical inquiries about elephants and the universe. The tone is irreverent, with users joking about the nature of their questions and the concept of "stupidity" in their responses. The thread serves as a space for creative and nonsensical dialogue, emphasizing fun over seriousness.
  • #951
Originally posted by kuengb
No, you can't even do this, since the hole you brath with is closed while the drink-hole is open.

What if heaven was a half pipe and God was a DJ?

Who would want to go to a half pipe heaven? People wouldn't be getting their monies worth unless the pipe was a whole pipe so they can stick it in their pipes and smoke it. Now incoming... God Rap *divine turntable screech*

How many feet are in a gallon?
 
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  • #952
Originally posted by motai
How many feet are in a gallon?
Depends how wide the container is and how many gals have been hired to mash the grapes. That said I do believe they now use mechanical mashers, which quite defeats[/color] the purpose of my answering thus, but this will have to do.

Why are antacid tablets (Tums) flavoured with citric acid?
 
  • #953
Originally posted by firefly
Why are antacid tablets (Tums) flavoured with citric acid?
Rumor has it, for ascorbic reasons...but maybe they just want it to taste like an orange...

Why would they want an antacid to taste like the drink that gave your the indigestion in the first place?
 
  • #954
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Rumor has it, for ascorbic reasons...but maybe they just want it to taste like an orange...

Why would they want an antacid to taste like the drink that gave your the indigestion in the first place?

Its part of their evil scheme to dominate and take over the world. First get the people sick through their "remedy" then knock them out cold with a large blunt object.

Why in the movies do the evil characters always get defeated? I really wanted Dr. Evil to take over the world!
 
  • #955
Originally posted by motai
Why in the movies do the evil characters always get defeated? I really wanted Dr. Evil to take over the world!
It's funny you should ask that quetion because, once, when I was in a bar in tokyo I noticed Godzilla sitting by himself at a table at the back of the place in the shadows with about ten empty shot glasses in front of him, an ash tray full of cigarette butts, and a rolled up hundred dollar bill next to a powdery mirror, and I thought to myself:"No wonder he never wins."If I recall correctly there used to be a man on the street corner at 5th and Main who pretended to sell hot dogs and polish sausage but who in fact could procure just about anything you could think of for the right price. I recently found myself in need of a human costume in order to perpetrate a human sighting hoax on my fellow zoobies but discovered these are hard to come by. Has anyone seen that hot dog vendor recently?
 
  • #956
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If I recall correctly there used to be a man on the street corner at 5th and Main who pretended to sell hot dogs and polish sausage but who in fact could procure just about anything you could think of for the right price. I recently found myself in need of a human costume in order to perpetrate a human sighting hoax on my fellow zoobies but discovered these are hard to come by. Has anyone seen that hot dog vendor recently?
Yup...yesterday...

While out strolling, down/up 'Princess' street, I saw a "Hot Dog" vendor...how much is this ad worth?
 
  • #957
Its worth cannot be counted in dollars and cents (or euros and eurocents), but look how much pleasure and happiness and money it brings to the world and you will know the answer.

Why is toothpaste always delivered in tubes and never in, say, glasses like marmalade? It would be recycl-able and if you got too much paste on your brush, you could easily put it back, eh?
 
  • #958
Originally posted by kuengb
Why is toothpaste always delivered in tubes and never in, say, glasses like marmalade? It would be recycl-able and if you got too much paste on your brush, you could easily put it back, eh?
I don't know why this is, because there is certainly no more appetizing thought than to scoop up a glob of toothpaste that someone else has wiped off their toothbrush.Recently while I was examining a priceless old vase at the museum of antiquities, a flock of chickadees swarmed into the gallery and began swirling around the vase, which jarred it such that it began to teeter precariously on the verge on tipping over. I threw myself around it, preventing it from falling, but found that the chickadees were pecking visciously at my person. What do you do when you're caught between a flock and a jarred vase?
 
  • #959
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently while I was examining a priceless old vase at the museum of antiquities, a flock of chickadees swarmed into the gallery and began swirling around the vase, which jarred it such that it began to teeter precariously on the verge on tipping over. I threw myself around it, preventing it from falling, but found that the chickadees were pecking visciously at my person. What do you do when you're caught between a flock and a jarred vase?
Fly in the vase of voracity and jam what was once a-jar.

How do you jam toothpaste into a crock of marmalade which was sealed air-tight by a layer of pre-chewed Chicklets?
 
  • #960
Originally posted by firefly
How do you jam toothpaste into a crock of marmalade which was sealed air-tight by a layer of pre-chewed Chicklets?
This is a trick quetion because this is only something a bee or a wasp would do, not a firefly, which isn't equiped with the dentition to handle chicklets.When I was in London, last year, the runners of the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt Big Ben for ten minutes while they huffed past. What do you do when you are caught between a clock and a bard race?
 
  • #961
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When I was in London, last year, the runners of the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt Big Ben for ten minutes while they huffed past. What do you do when you are caught between a clock and a bard race?
This is a trick quetion because a Zooby has yet to be caught... anywhere.

If you fly in the face of fire will you alight on the wings of a dove?
 
  • #962
Originally posted by firefly
If you fly in the face of fire will you alight on the wings of a dove?
Sure. Why not?Since questions are a symptom of ignorance is there any such thing as a smart question?
 
  • #963
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Since questions are a symptom of ignorance is there any such thing as a smart question?
Sure, ignorance smarts, sooner or later.

If ignorance is bliss, then is attention hit-and-miss?
 
  • #964
This is a smart question.

Last year, when I was just about to finish the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon I saw someone (believe it or not) pinned up against Big Ben, must've been for about ten minutes or so. Anyway, I completely forgot to run. What do you do in such a situation if you don't have a camera with you?
 
  • #965
Originally posted by kuengb
Last year, when I was just about to finish the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon I saw someone (believe it or not) pinned up against Big Ben, must've been for about ten minutes or so. Anyway, I completely forgot to run. What do you do in such a situation if you don't have a camera with you?
Just remember that person as per their inabiltiy to spell "agains[/color]t" Thusly you will be able to find said "Pressed against time" person, without fail...

As Originally mispelt by one ZOOBYSHOE!(SNIP)[/color]
Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt[/color] Big Ben for ten (SNoP)[/color]

Is being held against the Clockface of Big Ben by a hoarding flock of voracious Titmouse Chickadee's really just being "Pressed for time"?
 
  • #966
Since I'm not familiar with this English idiomatic expression I don't know a proper response.

What, my dear friend, is the difference between left and right?
 
  • #967
Originally posted by kuengb
What, my dear friend, is the difference between left and right?
Their respective viewpoint of the Center...

How is it that being "unfamiliar with, well, English" somehow allows you to preclude the quetions of others, especailly when all of the quetions are written in, well, it is english, isn't it?
 
  • #968
It is a right that is unequivocly given to me in the preface to the "Oxford Dictionarry of Distinguishèd and Aristocratic English".

When we pair a black and a white sheep, what will we get?
 
  • #969
A Grayish-Brown sheep!

Do you think the original person with a rocket in his pocket is dead by now because it might have accidently went off?
 
  • #970
Originally posted by motai
Do you think the original person with a rocket in his pocket is dead by now because it might have accidently went off?
Unlikely - if his pocket rocket went off I think it would have been anything but accidental.

Does a pocketful of posies imply explosive originality?
 
  • #971
Originally posted by firefly
Does a pocketful of posies imply explosive originality?
Yes but apparently it leaves a "Ring around the Rosie"...

Is a "Ring Around the Rosie" the same as a "Ring around the Porcelain Bowl"??
 
  • #972
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is a "Ring Around the Rosie" the same as a "Ring around the Porcelain Bowl"??
I could tell you, but I don't trust you to use the information wisely.Recently I had the misfortune, while mowing the lawn, of discovering to my horror, that I had run over a leprechaun. This seemed like a bad thing under any circumstances but what with St. Patrick's Day being so near it seemed like some particularly bad piece of luck. I put the remains in a shoebox and mailed it to St. Patrick's Cathedral, NYC, USA, in the hope they would know what to do with it. I didn't include a cover letter, and now I'm worried that they are going to mistake it for the corpse of a very short Amish gentleman - same beard and all. Anyway, the incident got me thinking: I have never seen a picture of a female leprechaun. How do they reproduce?
 
  • #973
Photosynthesis.

Why don't let we let cows, sheep, chicken etc. live in freedom and instead breed game on our farms? I mean, let's face it, a lazy ruminating cow is a much lighter target for a hunter than, say, a stag or even a quick little rabbit. That would be a timesaver wouldn't it?
 
  • #974
Originally posted by kuengb
Why don't let we let cows, sheep, chicken etc. live in freedom and instead breed game on our farms? I mean, let's face it, a lazy ruminating cow is a much lighter target for a hunter than, say, a stag or even a quick little rabbit. That would be a timesaver wouldn't it?
Because there is "No Challenge" in shooting a cow, from thirty paces, much more of a challenge to face a Raging Buck in rut, from 100 yards, with your scope, and laser sighting, and protective gear, and dogs, and live backup support via internet, and all the rest...

Why do people read all of this thread, then post quetions that are not following the spirit of the thread? (like this one?)
 
  • #975
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why do people read all of this thread, then post quetions that are not following the spirit of the thread? (like this one?)
Sounds like Fawlty Premises to me. Doubtful people read all of this thread, so they'd not have the ghost of a chance of following its spirit.

As I was pondering the anser to your free-spirited quetion, it occurred to me that there was an odd recursion about it such that, were one not careful, the line of reasoning brought about by such pondering could spiral into a dangerous vortex, rendering the stream of consciousness comparable to a class 5 rapids. Having caught this dangerous train of thought, and so trapped in the simple but savage mathematical machinations of your Whirlpool, however did I manage to reach the end of the line, and pose a new quetion?
 
  • #976
Originally posted by firefly
As I was pondering the anser to your free-spirited quetion, it occurred to me that there was an odd recursion about it such that, were one not careful, the line of reasoning brought about by such pondering could spiral into a dangerous vortex, rendering the stream of consciousness comparable to a class 5 rapids. Having caught this dangerous train of thought, and so trapped in the simple but savage mathematical machinations of your Whirlpool, however did I manage to reach the end of the line, and pose a new quetion?
From a similar vantage point one would see the same thing, so NO...or maybe Yes...don't know, kinda, perhaps, sorta, maybe, it could be possible that perhaps a chance of it to be thought of as thunked out thoughts of the potential possibilities of a responce...

If beauty is in the eye of the Be-holder, does it help that the "Be" Holder' is also beautiful on the outside?
 
  • #977
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If beauty is in the eye of the Be-holder, does it help that the "Be" Holder' is also beautiful on the outside?
This quetion reminds me of an amusing anecdote concerning a beautiful bee keeper who once tried to hold a bee. She wanted to put lipstick and a French maid's costume on the bee, so it would be beautiful to behold, but the bee balked and bit her butt. Anyone with half a mind can see the moral of the story. Those with a whole mind, though, will remain baffled.March 17th. Paddy walks into an Italian bar and announces that, in honor of the holiday he'll buy a free bottle for any man present who'll admit that Ireland is the greatest nation on earth. A Roman, a Sicilian, and a Corsican at a table imediately jump up and cry: "Ireland is the greatest nation on the face of the earth!"
Paddy is amazed. He is a man of honor, though, and he orders three bottles of their favorite grappa to be brought to them. Curiosity gets the better of him and he ambles over to the table and asks: "How is it you're so willing to put your country's honor second to a bottle of booze?" The Sicilian slowly removes his mask revealing that he is, in fact, a gray space alien, and replies:"ç&9((^ #@ç®® †¥ƒ¼5••²¢ º¬ð¸œ¢4$½½7!" When participating in St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun hunts, is it better to collect them in an old pillow case or do those cheap, plastic toy Leprechaun collecting baskets they make for kids really suffice?
 
  • #978
When participating in St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun hunts, is it better to collect them in an old pillow case or do those cheap, plastic toy Leprechaun collecting baskets they make for kids really suffice?
Best not to do either since Leprechauns are now a protected species. Do you really want to get PETL after you?

Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like "savory mouse" and "hummingbird hash"?
 
  • #979
Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like "savory mouse" and "hummingbird hash"?
That's quiet a mouseful of a quetion there... hummmm... I'm afraid I can't quite hash it out.

Why do hummingbirds, in the presence of sharp! pointy! teeth! turn on those reverse rockets full thrust but always seem to land beak deep in nectar, while whales, of noticeably greater size often land beached and therefore rather far from the deep, regardless of the presence of sharp pointy teeth such as might penetrate skin deep when playing with a mouse, unless it is attached to a computer?
 
  • #980
Originally posted by firefly
[Why do hummingbirds, in the presence of sharp! pointy! teeth! turn on those reverse rockets full thrust but always seem to land beak deep in nectar, while whales, of noticeably greater size often land beached and therefore rather far from the deep, regardless of the presence of sharp pointy teeth such as might penetrate skin deep when playing with a mouse, unless it is attached to a computer?
Was biten by this amazingly sharp toothed quetion, that evoked a whale of a responce, as intiated by the mouse on the computer, activities that landed me beached in nectar, but only afflicted in a "skin depth" mannerisms...

So if you, like me, have a post on every single page of this thread, why is this one the last one?
 
  • #981
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So if you, like me, have a post on every single page of this thread, why is this one the last one?
Well, you'll have to blame Maxwell's equations for that, or rather their integral and differential forms, because each final desinent metanoia into electric answer spawns its own magnetic get, outward forever into space. without stopage or stopple, or tampion. It's catechetical. This isn't the first last page there has been in this thread and it won't be the last last page.

If the teeth of the shark are pointy by virtue of their triangularity, and the teeth of the whale (such whales as have teeth) are pointy by virtue of tapering till there's nothing left, what geometry can account for the pointiness of the teeth of the hummingbird?
 
  • #982
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If the teeth of the shark are pointy by virtue of their triangularity, and the teeth of the whale (such whales as have teeth) are pointy by virtue of tapering till there's nothing left, what geometry can account for the pointiness of the teeth of the hummingbird? [/B]

The teeth of a hummingbird are pointy by virtue of their tendency to strain flowers of their nectar.
I hope these answers are supposed to not make sense.

If your mom's a dryer and your dad's a dishwasher, then what is the dog doing on top of the dog house while pigs don't fly?

LOL. I hope these questions aren't supposed to make sense either.:wink:
 
  • #983
Originally posted by SquareItSalamander
If your mom's a dryer and your dad's a dishwasher, then what is the dog doing on top of the dog house while pigs don't fly?
That dog would be performing the very important function of guarding against the acquisition of knowledge of flight by any porcine species since there are now so many thing that have been delegated to happen when pigs have wings that they cannot possibly be accommodated.

LOL. I hope these questions aren't supposed to make sense either.:wink:
Avoid incoherence. Try for surreal or fractured logic.

The recent news relates that several jellyfish dressed as ordinary citizens were arrested yesterday while attempting to break and enter a large, well known bank after hours, while on the other side of town several bank robbers dressed as jellyfish were arrested while trying to break and enter an aquarium. What accounts for this confusion among the criminal element, both pedestrian and aquatic?
 
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  • #984
What accounts for this confusion among the criminal element, both pedestrian and aquatic?
That's the problem with these fishy news stories - the facts are always watered down, and anyone with half a brine, who knows their salt (about Jellyfish) can see right through them.

Which is more important: to anser a quetion, or quetion an anser?
 
  • #985
Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Which is more important: to anser a quetion, or quetion an anser?
A quetionable quetion. I quetion it.But is quetioning the quetion really an anser?
 
  • #986
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A quetionable quetion. I quetion it.


But is quetioning the quetion really an anser?

if you do not have a quetion, is that san quetion?
 
  • #987
Originally posted by olde drunk
if you do not have a quetion, is that san quetion?
It is completely irregular to anser a quetion with a quetion, and causes me no end of zoobonic confusion, since I don't know if the quetion has ansered and settled the matter or if you simply forgot a new quetion, or if you meant to combine anser & quetion. This is just the kind of fribbleous amphigory I'd expect from an elderly compotator.

If you have been incarcerated in San Quetion for violation of the anser - quetion format, what do you use to brew your own besotting beverages?
 
  • #988
Good grief, how did this thread slip to page 4?

zoobyshoe said:
If you have been incarcerated in San Quetion for violation of the anser - quetion format, what do you use to brew your own besotting beverages?

Anything but the bedpan!

How much further would this thread have slipped if I hadn't responded?
 
  • #989
Tom Mattson said:
How much further would this thread have slipped if I hadn't responded?
We'll never know because now you have interfered with our carefully devised and sensitive test of its coefficient of friction.

Now that that's all over with, is there any way to ever actually find out which falls faster in a vacuum: a stupid quetion or a "What do you do if..." quetion?
 
  • #990
Both have the same acceleration: 7.1 X1010 furlongs per fortnights2

We all know the dangers of the Zoobyshoe, but exactly how dangerous is a Zoobysock?
 
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  • #991
Ivan Seeking said:
We all know the dangers of the Zoobyshoe, but exactly how dangerous is a Zoobysock?
Extremely dangerous: they cause the disappearance of washing machines and dryers!

Recently when I was working on a self portrait entitled Portrait of the Zoobie as as artist painting a self portrait of the zoobie as an artist painting a self portrait of the zoobie as an artists... I realized there had to be an end to it somewhere or I would never finish it and might accidently live forever. I thought it would be convenient to use c2 in there somewhere to determine a limit to the internal repetitions. Can anyone offer a useful formula?
 
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  • #992
Can anyone offer a useful formula?

I believe the specific formula you are seeking is
me = e2 /c2
which will give you the exact number of "me"s in the iterative image you are creating of yourself.

What do you suppose will happen when we get to the 1000th stupid quetion?
 
  • #993
We throw a monster mash.

Do you choose cake or death?
 
  • #994
Macgyver said:
Do you choose cake or death?
It's funny you should ask that quetion, because once, when I was crawling on all fours toward the mother of all stupid quetions I spotted a Polish aviator of my acquaintance burying a cake, while a friend of his was frosting a corpse.


Recently when I was reading a 1905 paper entitled On the Electrodynamics of Nocturnally Roving Herds of Weird, Purple Jellyfish originally published in the Annalen die Marinebiologie by Alfred Einstein, I was startled to come across the following:

"Weird, purple jellyfish stings which are simultaneous with reference to the ocean are not simultaneous with respect to the aquarium, and vise versa (relativity of wierd, purple jellyfish sting simultaneity)."

Does this mean the speed of pain is the same for all who are stung in any inertial frame or is a statement of the time at which one was stung meaningless unless we are told which body of water the weird, purple jellyfish call their inertial reference frame?
 
  • #995
I am not sure this is the appropriate thread to bring up a concept as speculative as the Theory of Jellativity.

but since we're on the subject of theories, why is the speed of light symbol "c" instead of, say, "L" ?
 
  • #996
Math Is Hard said:
I am not sure this is the appropriate thread to bring up a concept as speculative as the Theory of Jellativity.

but since we're on the subject of theories, why is the speed of light symbol "c" instead of, say, "L" ?

Because we c light. duh.

Wasn't Schrodinger really saying that a watched pot never boils?
 
  • #997
Ivan Seeking said:
Wasn't Schrodinger really saying that a watched pot never boils?
What I glean from his experiments was strong evidence that he was really a dog person.


Since jellyfish have about 30 or 40 eyes, shouldn't we prefer their theories concerning the isotropy of light over those of two-eyed human physisists?
 
  • #998
zoobyshoe said:
Since jellyfish have about 30 or 40 eyes, shouldn't we prefer their theories concerning the isotropy of light over those of two-eyed human physisists?
No because light is isotropic everywhere when all 40 eyes are working, but not when the number is reduced by a magnitude of order and the ambient light energy keeps the polish aviator from flying his zooby'shod boat to the other side of the mountain to release the fish back into the wild, so willy will be free!

Was I stupid, to stop being stupid, by asking stupidities? :-p

pS! BTW! I! GOT! #1000! YEAH! FOR! ME!?!
 
  • #999
climbhi said:
So to begin... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

One year, 30 days, 5 hours, 20 minutes

Edit: Oops, leap year. More specifically, 396 days, 5 hours, 20 minutes
 
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  • #1,000
Mr. Robin Parsons said:
Was I stupid, to stop being stupid, by asking stupidities?
Every reference-body (co-ordinate system) has its own particular stupidity: unless we are told the reference-body to which a statement of stupidity refers, there is no meaning in a statement of the stupidity of an event.


Once, before I was born, I was strolling around the campus of Princeton University, Princeton, N.J. and I stopped an old geezer to ask if he had the time. He peered at me with his large, yoda-like eyes, his wild, white hair dancing in all directions at once, his long, unkemped moustache twitching with the ill concealed mirth of the smile he was trying to hold back, and asked: "According to what inertial co-ordinate system?" It struck me then: a blaze of insight so profound that I was nearly knocked off my feet. What had I realized?
 
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