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Heaven has better resources, and God pays better.

What happens when creativity and surgery combine?
 
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Originally posted by FZ+
What happens when creativity and surgery combine?
You end up seeing behind you, and never know where you are going, ever again!

After your (very) Creative Surgeon has re-reversed your head, so you can see ahead of you again, what do you do with His Bill?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
After your (very) Creative Surgeon has re-reversed your head, so you can see ahead of you again, what do you do with His Bill?
You offer him your own services as an amateur surgeon to remove his bill so that he no longer resembles a quack.Recently while sitting at a table outside Le Cafe Du Lapin Dormant I had the chilling experience of noticing that all the customers at all the other tables were drinking with their left hands, while I remained the only right handed cup manipulator of the lot. Calling to the waiter I said: " Tout le monde est gauche ici, non?" To which he responded: "Dude! Speak English! Your French like, so sucks!" Why did I tip him with a viagra tablet?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently while sitting at a table outside Le Cafe Du Lapin Dormant I had the chilling experience of noticing that all the customers at all the other tables were drinking with their left hands, while I remained the only right handed cup manipulator of the lot. Calling to the waiter I said: " Tout le monde est gauche ici, non?" To which he responded: "Dude! Speak English! Your French like, so sucks!" Why did I tip him with a viagra tablet?
Well for the very same reasons I would have, as it is abundantly clear that the man is "backed up" or "pent up" or "whatever", you know what I mean! (Isn't it always like that at that Cafe du la lapin dor-mort)

While visiting with my long lost Stalker, down in Africa (the Continent, not the country) I happened to notice that the youths Ipod was running, apparently without batteries, how the heck didn't he do that?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While visiting with my long lost Stalker, down in Africa (the Continent, not the country) I happened to notice that the youths Ipod was running, apparently without batteries, how the heck didn't he do that?
This is a common illusion that we have debunked on several occasions in the Skepticism an Debunking Forum. The Ipod is not, in fact, without a power source. The youth/Stalker is farting into a methane storage chamber located in a discrete place on the bottom of the unit when you aren't looking. Recently when I was strolling down the Champs-Elysees I found an unread chinese fortune on the sidewalk, which I hastily snatched up and quickly deposited into the first mailbox I came to.
Would you prefer paper or plastic?
 
Originally posted by a "Frenching" zoobyshoe
Recently when I was strolling down the Champs-Elysees I found an unread chinese fortune on the sidewalk, which I hastily snatched up and quickly deposited into the first mailbox I came to.
Would you prefer paper or plastic?
Neither! I want to Eat the WHOLE COOKIE!

Funny the other day, while checking my mail, a 'fortune paper' (out of a fortune cookie) showed up in the mailbox, it read, "An aquaintance of yours, (Zoobyshoe) will be writting you a "Stupid Quention" telling you that this unread[/color] fortune paper is coming your way" this "begging the Quetion" where the heck is the rest of MY COOKIE?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Funny the other day, while checking my mail, a 'fortune paper' (out of a fortune cookie) showed up in the mailbox, it read, "An aquaintance of yours, (Zoobyshoe) will be writting you a "Stupid Quention" telling you that this unread[/color] fortune paper is coming your way" this "begging the Quetion" where the heck is the rest of MY COOKIE?
Well, it has gone through someone's digestive system and is now somewhere beneath the surface world of daylight and cafes, mixed in with all the rest of the stuff in the unpleasant subterranian streams of the sewers of Paris. Recently it floated by the lair of the Phantom Of The Opera who was too busy pouring over the score of Aida to notice, or care if he did.I see from the television that Hollywood recently disgorged another would be blockbuster film: The Last Samurai In Ontario staring the lovely Tom Cruise as Mr.Robert Parsnips, The handsome Nichole Kidman as *&^^#%@&%^%^$ the woman of his dreams, and the hirsuit Alec Baldwin as Zoobie The Boot, the eloquent scoundrel known for his eccentric "eating w/o reading" habits. All based on the novel by James Pea. I always wonder how faithful these films are to the book? Have you both seen and read?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I see from the television that Hollywood recently disgorged another would be blockbuster film: The Last Samurai In Ontario staring the lovely Tom Cruise as Mr.Robert Parsnips, The handsome Nichole Kidman as *&^^#%@&%^%^$ the woman of his dreams, and the hirsuit Alec Baldwin as Zoobie The Boot, the eloquent scoundrel known for his eccentric "eating w/o reading" habits. All based on the novel by James Pea. I always wonder how faithful these films are to the book? Have you both seen and read?
Well, I have always seen to be well read, but this Anatomy of a Story that you so pleasantly imbibe upon, seems reminicent of another's Tale of Yore that expounds upon the plesantries of 'Yore', and the delights of the many who suffered the presence of the multitudes that eat at the arrival of the foodstuffs, having eaten, then ate, but all inclusive was this date, hence...well you know the rest of it...

...don't you?




(cheap quetion!)
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...don't you?
(cheap quetion!)
Yes, but I'll see if I can get even cheaper below:Eh?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Eh?
Well certainly YES! it is sooooo obvious that it behooves you to admit to having had some sort of "Spittle" episode, or something, as clearly the depth of your question indicates some sort of Idiot Savant State, that you must have achieved in an adulterated state, as it clealry, oh so very, very clearly isn't your normal state of intelligence, someone who persistently uses, and employs, Frangible nuts, in his intumescent mind, must be of such a caliber of personality, that such profundidty is belieing the subverted realities of the perversions of intellectualities that arise, in someone else.

So, now that Y'all knows my entire lifes history (ya, I know, short version) what do you think? (or should I be asking "can you?" but that would be rude!)
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So, now that Y'all knows my entire lifes history (ya, I know, short version) what do you think? (or should I be asking "can you?" but that would be rude!)
I have only seen the previews, but I think the performance by the lovely Tom Cruise as the Last Samurai In Ontario looks to be overwrought.Recently in the Skepticism and Debunking forum, Tsunami Seeking, of all people, started a thread on the OZE, the Out-of-Zoobie-Experience, which she described as the temporary inability to acertain the location of small household pets.
I explained that this was almost certainly the result of a SPZ, a Simple-Partial-Zoobie, meaning a Zoobie that had not yet grown to full size and could still escape detection by both EEG and its owners, but she insists that the OZE is an authentic mystical experience which proves the ability of small household pets to become invisible. How can I convince Tsunami of the folly of her beliefs?
 
Hold Ivan to ransom...actually, even better, have you seen Blazing Saddles, where Bart holds himself hostage so the people don't hurt him. Do that and Tsunami won't want you to get hurt so she will agree with whatever you say.


Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
To keep you from escaping

Why would Jimmy P., permanently indebted to me, forever, want to escape his coffin?
 
Cos he is a rebel who lives on the EDGE, baby!


Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
This is to prove to the liquor store owners their employees can do simple math. The government's in on it, yes.Who is responsible for the resemblence between my drivers lisense photo and a newt?
 
thats the government as well. They are all ugly people so because they are spiteful, the 'photoshop' driving license pictures so they can have the satisfaction of not being ugly...


Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Yes, because of the zen-like contradiction of fat people having more skin to dip than skinny people: fat people are skinier. Weird, eh?Who is responsible for liquor being quicker?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who is responsible for liquor being quicker?
Well it's only a rumor, but I heard it was my fault...

If I am the guy who is responcible for "Likher...Being Quicker", what the heck am I doing *HERE*?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If I am the guy who is responcible for "Likher...Being Quicker", what the heck am I doing *HERE*?
No doubt you lost your liquor fortune (Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka, wasn't it?) by succumbing to your own product.Once, when I was succumbing to some of your product, I found myself unable to stand on the normal, and, that being the case, I began to crawl on all fours toward my last known residence. Since I happened to already be at my last known residence when this journey started, I ended up getting further and farther away until I found myself sitting at a table outside the Cafe du Tortue Courante ordering another White Russian made with Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka. Problems arose when it turned out they did not accept the Zoobocard and wanted Master- or Visa- card. (This is why I generally frequent Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant.) I was forced by these circumstances back into an unwilling state of sobriety during which I began plodding back home. It was then that I found an unread Chinese Fortune on the side walk. I though to myself, "Why read it? It will only collapse the wavefunction of my life into some specific path. As it is, as far as I know, anything could happen." I continued from there on to Pisa, where I repelled down the wrong side of the famous tower. That was a long drop. I think I still have rope burns. I won't do that again. Have you ever operated a forklift?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Once, when I was succumbing to some of your product, I found myself unable to stand on the normal, and, that being the case, I began to crawl on all fours toward my last known residence. Since I happened to already be at my last known residence when this journey started, I ended up getting further and farther away until I found myself sitting at a table outside the Cafe du Tortue Courante ordering another White Russian made with Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka. Problems arose when it turned out they did not accept the Zoobocard and wanted Master- or Visa- card. (This is why I generally frequent Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant.) I was forced by these circumstances back into an unwilling state of sobriety during which I began plodding back home. It was then that I found an unread Chinese Fortune on the side walk. I though to myself, "Why read it? It will only collapse the wavefunction of my life into some specific path. As it is, as far as I know, anything could happen." I continued from there on to Pisa, where I repelled down the wrong side of the famous tower. That was a long drop. I think I still have rope burns. I won't do that again. Have you ever operated a forklift?
Yes! (The operable 'word' is "operate" as of course cause anyone can drive a fork, and no doubt, even a child can lift one to their mouths, so why he would even ask the quetion, well, its that Vodka, I heard, 1000% proof by volume (and weight) and apparently that is why the wouldn't take his ZOOBOCARD® ("Where life is a treasure of 'things' that you buy!" Pricey! things") as he is apparently 'maxed outed' to the 'max' that it can be 'outed', sooooooo...

In "no" space the first rule is: "("No" Rules)", and in case of a 'dangling' or 'unattached/unsupported' "Yes"...well, see rule # one...given that, and knowing this, why was it that the experimentors, looking for evidence of the persistance of the sinusoidal wave functions derivation, from the still 'uncollapsed' "wave function", stuck the thermometer up the pussie's rectum?
 
Last edited:
because they are cruel and sadistic kitty haters, who think that any problem can be solved by finding the temperature of a cat by inserting a thermometer neatly up their anus.


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
Originally posted by Tom
If chroot loves Google so much, why doesn't he marry it then?

edit: Added a link so you wouldn't think I am crazy.
For the second time in my long memory, Supermentor Tom has entered this thread realizing that the answer to a particular quetion that has been troubling him can be found nowhere else on the web.

After profound thought and much irritating cogitation, I believe the answer to your quetion must lie in the fact that google rejected chroot's proposal.

Why doesn't Tom want us to think he's crazy?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why doesn't Tom want us to think he's crazy?
So Chroot won't spend any more time chasing after his wife...

Why hasn't the world found this site, and completely overpopulated it, yet?
 
Do you want the real reason, or the reason containing kung-fu acrobatics, slow-mo, tough talking cops and many, many guns?

Well, do ya, punk?
 
OOH OOH the kung foo reason, get all ninja on Robins ass LOL (no offence Robin)!




Why do we call beer alcohol when practically every other alcohol is poisonous??
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why do we call beer alcohol when practically every other alcohol is poisonous??
Cause we don't like admiting that it is usually 95% water...

Why is water, toxic?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is water, toxic?
I have tried to scrute this quetion for a while now, but I believe it is inscrutable. (It's that comma. Turns it into some kind of Canadian koan.)Today I was reading the poetry of W.B. Yeats and couldn't make any sense out of it, although it seemed full of pain and urgency. Do you have to be Irish or just intoxicated?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Today I was reading the poetry of W.B. Yeats and couldn't make any sense out of it, although it seemed full of pain and urgency. Do you have to be Irish or just intoxicated?
Irish, intoxicated, and in a fight! otherwise it just isn't there...or so I've heard..

While typing out a responce to "Who is your favorite poster" Mr. RP stated it was "This Guy" --> <--"yuG sihT" so, it is abundantly clear that his placing of the wording "This Guy", in reverse, was done simply to accommodate the "people inside the computer screen" (NOT to be confused with "The people at the other end of the computer screen") thusly "Begging the Quetion" of "Why", "Why oh-why-oh-why" is it that, not a sigle one of the rest of you ever bothers to think of the people inside the screen!, all of you type like this, forward pointing, and force the little beggars to read everything backwards! I! amongst all of you, stand alone, at being kind, and considerate, towards these little munchkinks, but all of you? HAH! Nothing! not a thing! not a shred of kindness! consideration! thought! not even a little modicum of niceness! not in a single one of you, why?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
"Begging the Quetion" of "Why", "Why oh-why-oh-why" is it that, not a sigle one of the rest of you ever bothers to think of the people inside the screen!, all of you type like this, forward pointing, and force the little beggars to read everything backwards! I! amongst all of you, stand alone, at being kind, and considerate, towards these little munchkinks, but all of you? HAH! Nothing! not a thing! not a shred of kindness! consideration! thought! not even a little modicum of niceness! not in a single one of you, why?
.detsixe sknikhcnum esoht wenk reven I tub yrros m'IIvan Seeking recently posted a link to an article which reported that a whale had spontaneously exploded in the streets of Taiwan. That being the case, why is it people deny the existence of spontaneous human combustion?