Can Rock, Paper, Scissors Be Reinvented with New Rules?

[DaveC426913]

I rather liked https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=110807", and thought it had potential (for imagination that is - HINT HINT ), but it was shut down when it became too silly.

With Evo's permission (granted), and Mattara's permission (pending), I'd like to start it again, but with some boundaries.

1] Reply with an object that "beats" the previous object in some healthy and undeniable way. Replies should be of the form Y [verb]'s X.

Things disallowed:
a] no going back in time. (i.e "no gas" as a reply for chainsaw disallowed) You can act upon the object that was brought, but you cannot change what was brought.
b] no people or actions (man refilling tank disallowed, though I guess can of gas is allowed)
c] no fictional objects or half-baked theoretical objects (repealing nature)
d] no repeats - an object can only be used once
e] no hammers!

(And let's see if we can get a single thread going, rather than multiple branches - though I don't know how).

I'll start it off:

Pen writes post.

 

[Cyrus]

Thermite...burns computer with the post, the table, and burns a hole through the ground... (it melts metal, you can't hammer it. Once the reaction starts, nothing can stop it. Its nasty stuff, BEAT THAT!)

 

[Gokul43201]

I have no clue what the original game was about (Dave, you should include a link), so I'm guessing a little here :

Pen writes post.

Post kills thread.

 

[DaveC426913]

Sorry, the active word is pen. The game is to find something that beats pen.

eg. Tin snips cut pen.

 

[arildno]

Off-topic: Are maces allowed?

 

[Chi Meson]

Sulfuric acid dissolves tin snips.

(See, I can play nice too.)

 

[arildno]

Lye neutralizes acid

 

[zoobyshoe]

H20 dissolves resultant salt.

 

[arildno]

Hummingbird drinks H20

 

[zoobyshoe]

Birdflu kills hummingbird.

 

[Orefa]

Vaccine prevents bird flu.

Edit: hmmm, sorry, this may be against "no going back in time"

 

[BobG]

Vaccine prevents bird flu.

FDA requires further testing of vaccine before allowing it to go on market.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Vaccine prevents bird flu.

Edit: hmmm, sorry, this may be against "no going back in time"

I believe it does.

Birdflu kills hummingbird is the last proper thing posted to defeat.

 

[BobG]

I believe it does.

Birdflu kills hummingbird is the last proper thing posted to defeat.

DDT eradicates birds.

Edit: What a lame post. DDT kills bugs and birds eat bugs, but it will take years to eradicate birds. It'll never work in time to stop an outbreak of birdflu.

 

[arildno]

Gamma ray bursts kills all life on Earth, and in extension, kills bird flu.

 

[BobG]

Gamma ray bursts kills all life on Earth, and in extension, kills bird flu.

Swift satellite detects gamma ray bursts on the fly. http://www.astrocappella.com/swift.shtml

 

[zoobyshoe]

Gamma ray bursts kills all life on Earth, and in extension, kills bird flu.

Yikes!

...

 

[arildno]

Swift satellite detects gamma ray bursts on the fly. http://www.astrocappella.com/swift.shtml

HAMMER!

 

[ziad1985]

flames, it will melt the hammer and everything around it

 

[Orefa]

We suck at this game.

 

[BobG]

Offended contestant spits on Simon Cowell.

(I realize this probably makes no sense right now, but the rules said nothing about traveling into the future.)

 

[Blahness]

Nail pokes Offended contestant.

 

[arildno]

Offended contestant was gay (reverses nail effect)

 

[Blahness]

Gay Offended Contestant was exposed to high concentrations of Beta radiation.

 

[arildno]

You homophobe..

 

[zoobyshoe]

I'll go back and lower the ante:

Cat kills hummingbird.

 

[arildno]

Scissors kills cat.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Scissors kills cat.

Bulldozer runs over scissors.

 

[arildno]

Bull wakes up and stops dozing.

 

[Cyrus]

I melt arildnos stupid hammer with thermite.

 

[DaveC426913]

Offended contestant spits on Simon Cowell.

(I realize this probably makes no sense right now, but the rules said nothing about traveling into the future.)

:D Actually, time travel violates rule c]

 

[arildno]

Violation of rule e) kills Dave..

 

[DaveC426913]

OK, Arildno, we get that you're really clever in finding imaginative ways to diverge from the spirit of the game.

We get it.

Really.

 

[Evo]

OK, Arildno, we get that you're really clever in finding imaginative ways to diverge from the spirit of the game.

We get it.

Really.

Oh, you're just in a bad mood because you're dead.

 

[Hurkyl]

Patience overcomes ban on traveling into the future.

 

[Cyrus]

I took away his stupid hammer, damn that hammer I hate it.

 

[arildno]

No proper post took care of my gamma rays. If you want to be the arbiter, Dave, the game should restart there.

 

[Mk]

A short fluctuation in gravity causes the moon to smash into the earth. Rock kills rock.

 

[Mk]

Bull wakes up and stops dozing.

Bull walks into a minefield.

 

[DaveC426913]

No proper post took care of my gamma rays. If you want to be the arbiter, Dave, the game should restart there.

GRB violates rule #1. It did not beat "the previous object" (hummingbird or bird flu), it beat an object that was made up from thin air (all life on Earth).

 

[DaveC426913]

Interestingly, I'm finding a confounding paradox with rule a]. Technically, everything listed is going back in time, including the tin snips cutting pen.

The only way the tin snaps could beat the pen is by cutting it *before* it wrote the post. And the only way sulfuric acid could beat the tin snips is if it dissolved them before they cut the pen, etc.

 

[arildno]

GRB violates rule #1. It did not beat "the previous object" (hummingbird or bird flu), it beat an object that was made up from thin air (all life on Earth).

Ok, fair enough.

 

[DaveC426913]

Hm. To recap. Looking for a valid chain.

The bird flu/DDT line may or may not be valid - I'm really having trouble with this 'stopped before it happened' paradox.

In an effort to continue, I suggest (somewhat arbitrarily) we choose the more innocuous reply (the cat), and continue with it.

(Gee, I really wasn't expecting to have to arbitrate...)

Anyway, I'll post this as a recap:

Pen writes post.
Tin snips cut pen.
Sulfuric acid dissolves tin snips.
Lye neutralizes acid.
H20 dissolves resultant salt.
Hummingbird drinks H20.
Birdflu kills hummingbird.
Cat kills hummingbird.
Scissors kills cat.
Bulldozer runs over scissors.

 

[Orefa]

Interestingly, I'm finding a confounding paradox with rule a]. Technically, everything listed is going back in time, including the tin snips cutting pen.

The only way the tin snaps could beat the pen is by cutting it *before* it wrote the post. And the only way sulfuric acid could beat the tin snips is if it dissolved them before they cut the pen, etc.

Ahhh! "Vaccine prevents bird flu" would have been fine then. [Tapping self in the back.]

 

[Orefa]

Quicksands swallow bulldozer.

 

[Jelfish]

Quicksands swallow bulldozer.

Conveniently nearby hanging vines foil quicksand

 

[arildno]

Concrete solidifies quicksand.

 

[honestrosewater]

Simultaneous postings foil Dave's game.

 

[arildno]

Note: Unless anyone else disagrees, I think that OP (Dave) should have the right to slap the thread back into place, as long as he provides a good reason for it.

 

[honestrosewater]

Note: Unless anyone else disagrees, I think that OP (Dave) should have the right to slap the thread back into place, as long as he provides a good reason.

Well, Jelfish is on top...

Oh, woops, I'm not Dave, am I? :buggrin: