Hmm, I was initially hesitant to post this, considering I'm so new. Though, I suppose sometimes it's just nice to get it off my chest. This is the incredibly condensed version, with some part omitted. Also, it's written terribly.
Born into a irresponsible set of parents. My dad flunked out of MIT, my mom was a party girl. They're pretty smart, actually, but sort of the iconic "not ready for children, ever" types. My mom drank a lot, always had friends over. My dad was a pizza boy. Until he finally decided to go into IT. He did exceptional well, and is a well respected sys admin. In all honesty, life wasn't too bad. I mean, we had a house, a car, I went to decent school in the greater Detroit area. Then, it all changed.
I walked to school, being only a block away. I started walking with this kid, little did I know she was one twisted cookie. We became friends, only for the worst. For the next two years I endured her physical and sexual abuse, as well as her step fathers. I was a fragile 7 year old girl. They went on in those two years to "baby sit" me every evening before I had gymnastics. How kind of them...
I had been running away to nowhere at night, for what reason I'm not entirely sure. Little kids have limited foresight, so probably just to escape the pain. Eventually the police became involved. Studies show that children behave this way when something is wrong in the home. They drove me around for hours, telling me all sorts of false promises if I confessed that my mom was doing this to me. See, I had many open wounds from my nervous habit of picking at my skin. No one could figure it out, but gee, they sure looked like cigarette burns. The cops ran with that idea.
Eventually, at the promise of my very own pony, I confessed. Immediately I was rushed into foster care. I ran into even more awful homes, though a few good. People passed me on like the time-bomb I was. But the damage was done. I was unruly, I'd cry, I'd fight. I think the word is "emotionally disturbed". Finally, the court hearings began. I explained tirelessly that it was someone else outside the home, and that I needed help. Not my parents, but my baby-sitter and neighbor.
I was so traumatized and difficult to handle that I was sent to a place called Children's Home of Detroit. It wasn't a nice place. It was a behavioral ward for minors with issues. It's where I developed my eating disorder. All the while, my education is being disrupted. Before everything happened, I was a good student. By the time I left CHD, I was 12. I spent 6 months in out-patient with my family. The court had decided that my parents were fit if they spent 2 years in parenting classes with drug tests etc. My mom was charged with the felony of child abuse in order to end the court case as fast as possible--she pled guilty. In an act of sacrifice, honestly.
My family was in chaos after that. A fragile home, my parents struggled with what had happened. We moved around quite a bit. In Oklahoma, where we stayed for 2 years, I was never enrolled in school. Paranoid, they home-schooled me. Needless to say, I didn't learn anything.
We finally landed in Oregon and things were at their worse. See, my father is Schizophrenic, and this stress ate away at him. He slowly slipped off his meds, and had to go in for inpatient care. At the age of 14, I took my drug-ridden mother (narcotics being her drug of choice) all around town desperately trying to get into school. I was finally enrolled at a middle school, for the last few months of 8th grade. I could barely read. I didn't know my multiplication tables. I was probably still at the 2nd grade level where my mind was left.
I spent the next year and half battling with my parents. They were the unruly ones at this point. Deep into drugs, depression, self-pity and shock. I couldn't take it anymore. I was literally alone. My father worked more than 80hrs a week, and slept. My mother was always trying to kill herself.
One night, we had a massive argument. My parents held me down and drugged me with a heft dose of oxycotin. That morning, I left. I ran to my only friend. Him and his family helped me on my feet, but you can't live with at boy at 15-16. So, I filed the papers to become emancipated.
Because I wasn't capable of supporting myself by the state's standards, I ended up being a ward of the court. I found a farm and offered to work in exchange for living costs and they agreed. (I previously had connections in the horse industry, and knew them.). I struggled with a heroin addiction not too long after I left. It was in secret, and it was something that numbed the pain just a bit. But my head was still on more or less straight. I spent my junior and senior year trying to make up for lost time. See, I always, from very young, wanted to be a physicist.
Unfortunately, a rural school didn't offer the classes I needed such as AP calc or AP physics. Even though I excelled on my standardized test, it was barely enough to get me into state schools, let alone provide me with scholarships. I ended up leaving Oregon for another working-student position in the horse industry. That eventually ended. I decided to put myself through school for my true dream, and here I am.
I got a job working full time, though it's a "temp" position by their standards. No health care or benefits. I put all my money into community college and I'm finally on my way to a state school hopefully next fall. I've since kicked my heroin addiction, and delt with the majority of my eating issues--though they stay with you for life.
My only advice is, surround yourself in wonder. Don't let the negativity, no matter how small or large, eat at you. If you let it, it will turn you into a hollow version of yourself. I'm not without issue after all this, but it's taught me one thing-- human willpower is ... well, powerful. I graduated with a 3.95, 2nd in my class, all the while working nearly full time the last two years and dealing with insane parents and limitations the first two. I taught myself to read. I taught myself how do basic math.
Never underestimate the power you have to control you own path.
Cheers.
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