Should You Choose a Partner Based on Love or Background?

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The discussion revolves around the complexities of choosing a life partner based on various factors such as family background, physical attraction, and financial stability. Participants debate whether it's better to marry someone from a good family background, a wealthy partner, or someone who is physically attractive but comes from a broken home. Many emphasize that marriage should not be based solely on superficial qualities or financial benefits, suggesting that true love and emotional connection are paramount. Concerns are raised about the long-term viability of relationships based on physical attraction alone, with some participants arguing that a strong friendship and mutual understanding are essential for a successful marriage. The conversation also highlights the importance of being ready for marriage and not making decisions based on external pressures or societal expectations. Ultimately, the consensus leans towards prioritizing genuine emotional bonds over material considerations or physical allure.
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[SOLVED] choose which is better to love

Is it good to choose a wife with a good family background? If you have this girl who is so sexy and hot but came from a broken family would you merry this girl? or what about this girl that's rich but isn't too sexy but loves you so much and would take care of you. which would you choose?
 
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Depends? Am I really shallow and thinking about money over love, or am I equally in love with both, but confused because of other factors? If it's a could go either way deal, then fine go with the security I suppose, if it's a tie breaker, otherwise go with your heart. Cue greensleeves playing in the background, nature scenes and May blossom falling from trees, and some sort of picnic by the river. \heartsuit
 
chrisalviola said:
Is it good to choose a wife with a good family background? If you have this girl who is so sexy and hot but came from a broken family would you merry this girl? or what about this girl that's rich but isn't too sexy but loves you so much and would take care of you. which would you choose?

Ok, first marry the rich girl. Then get a divorce, and get the money. Next, marry the woman with a good family background, and take the sexy girl as your mistress.

:cool:
 
must be just the devil tempting me to go for the younger and sexier girl, Iam with the not so sexy one for a long time now and we understand each other completely but something is missing our sex life.:wink:
 
I'd certainly merry the sexy girl but I'm not sure if I'd marry her.
 
but is it really important? I mean is sex really important? I love to merry to sexy chick and have sex all day but is it all there's to it? I mean is marriage based on this? I can have good financial status if I go for the not so sexy one.
 
vanesch said:
Ok, first marry the rich girl. Then get a divorce, and get the money. Next, marry the woman with a good family background, and take the sexy girl as your mistress.

:cool:

:smile: Leave it to the French to properly explain priorities in love and romance. :biggrin:
 
If something is missing from your sex life, it may not be your girlfriend's fault. Have you thought about that? If you jumped over to the "young sexy" girl, there is no guarantee that you would be any happier, once the newness wore off, nor is there any guarantee that your sex life would be any better. Some people (both men and women) trade heavily on their looks and may invest less of themselves in their relationships.
 
wow tnks:approve:
 
  • #10
turbo-1 said:
Some people (both men and women) trade heavily on their looks and may invest less of themselves in their relationships.
and those relationships do not last long.

BTW, sex is a very small part in a marriage - it comes when all the work is done, meals cooked and eaten, dishes washed, animals fed, kids to bed (assuming the couple has already started), . . . .

One's spouse should be one's best friend and life partner.
 
  • #11
I probably would not marry the broken home girl unless I was absolutely certain she was not crazy, and the only way to be certain of that is to know them for a long time. That's really true for everyone, but give special attention to the ones who grow up in an environment that is completely different than your own.

edit: I once dated a girl who turned out to be a hippy. It was a terrible end to an otherwise perfect relationship.
 
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  • #12
vanesch said:
Ok, first marry the rich girl. Then get a divorce, and get the money. Next, marry the woman with a good family background, and take the sexy girl as your mistress.

:cool:


I love you french people!
 
  • #13
I think its just as easy to fall in love with somebody rich, as it is to fall in love with somebody poor.
 
  • #14
hypatia said:
I think its just as easy to fall in love with somebody rich, as it is to fall in love with somebody poor.
Of course it is, because love (for a person) and monetary wealth are independent factors. Now, that's not to say that personal agendae don't play into the decision, but that's another ball of worms.
 
  • #15
chrisalviola said:
Is it good to choose a wife with a good family background? If you have this girl who is so sexy and hot but came from a broken family would you merry this girl? or what about this girl that's rich but isn't too sexy but loves you so much and would take care of you. which would you choose?

You should choose neither. You are not ready for marriage.

When you have spent enough time with her that you can't imagine wanting to live without her, there will no longer be a question to ask.
 
  • #16
chrisalviola said:
...I can have good financial status if I go for the not so sexy one.

The way you talk, it's as if you are trying to decide which type of ice cream to get. "Oh the chocolate would go really well with my pie, but I really like the butterscotch..."

I agree completely with what Dave said above. If you are trying to justify going for one over the other, you obviously don't love either enough to marry them. Furthermore, if you're asking random people on the internet which girl to marry, you don't deserve either of them let alone love one of them.
 
  • #17
hypatia said:
I think its just as easy to fall in love with somebody rich, as it is to fall in love with somebody poor.
That's possible, as long as the rich person does not define themselves by how much money they have and use that money as social leverage. I've known some pretty wealthy kids from this region when I was growing up, and not many of them were socially "housebroken". A notable exception was the son of a local real-estate/insurance business owner. He was a quiet, funny guy and he fell for one of my sisters, but she was intent upon pursuing a popular local bad-boy. That didn't work out well.
 
  • #18
DaveC426913 said:
You should choose neither. You are not ready for marriage.

When you have spent enough time with her that you can't imagine wanting to live without her, there will no longer be a question to ask.
Well said! I knew within a month that I couldn't live without my current wife. It took some persuading because her previous relationship had been particularly bruising, but after 33 years of marriage, I'm pretty sure she intends to keep me.
 
  • #19
chrisalviola said:
but is it really important? I mean is sex really important? I love to merry to sexy chick and have sex all day but is it all there's to it? I mean is marriage based on this? I can have good financial status if I go for the not so sexy one.

Neither of these seem like good reasons to marry someone. I'm not sure you should marry either if sex and finances are your biggest concern.

I fully agree with Dave.
 
  • #20
DaveC426913 said:
You should choose neither. You are not ready for marriage.

When you have spent enough time with her that you can't imagine wanting to live without her, there will no longer be a question to ask.

That's why Vanesch's answer is so perfect...it addresses the natural outcome of trying to pick someone using such criteria rather than based on just KNOWING one person is the only one you want to be with. Choose one, divorce, choose another and cheat...
 
  • #22
I vote for neither, too. You should go for option three: the girl that's hot and rich!

Seriously, though, the OP must be winding us up-- who would ask random people's advice on who to marry?
 
  • #23
cristo said:
I vote for neither, too. You should go for option three: the girl that's hot and rich!

Seriously, though, the OP must be winding us up-- who would ask random people's advice on who to marry?

Who would be that shallow that they would chose who they'd marry based purely on x anyway? And how many people have a choice of three people to marry? It is most likely someone asking a what if question. Either that or some uber nerd living out his dream in cyberspace. :smile:
 
  • #24
chrisalviola said:
If you have this girl who is so sexy and hot but came from a broken family would you merry this girl? or what about this girl that's rich but isn't too sexy but loves you so much and would take care of you. which would you choose?
She is rich and has a good family. Loves you so much and would take care of you. What more is there to ask for in life?
 
  • #25
chrisalviola said:
Is it good to choose a wife with a good family background? If you have this girl who is so sexy and hot but came from a broken family would you merry this girl? or what about this girl that's rich but isn't too sexy but loves you so much and would take care of you. which would you choose?
There is only one person that walks this planet (and others), who can answer you questions.

Find him, at all costs: https://www.physicsforums.com/member.php?u=221
 
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  • #26
OMG!:smile: The title of this thread is so funny but I have to say sadly most of the time people calculate(?) who's better to love and it's not their feelings which lead them here!
 
  • #27
Why would you bother marrying either one of them?

Sounds like the ugly one is a great friend to you, and the hot one is merely a play toy.

My suggestions... Keep it that way. After 10 years goes by... see which one is still around.
 
  • #28
Lisa! said:
OMG!:smile: The title of this thread is so funny but I have to say sadly most of the time people calculate(?) who's better to love and it's not their feelings which lead them here!
You can't let only your emotions make the decision of marriage.
 
  • #29
Lisa! said:
OMG!:smile: The title of this thread is so funny but I have to say sadly most of the time people calculate(?) who's better to love and it's not their feelings which lead them here!

You mean there is more involved than a multi-variable max/min problem with constraints? :confused: :biggrin:
 
  • #30
Mk said:
You can't let only your emotions make the decision of marriage.

Hmmm..sorta agree with you! But loving someone only because s/he has so many benefits for you doesn't sound like true love. It's like you're only pretending these feeling towrds someone and I think that's not honesty.:wink:
 
  • #31
All this type of thread are good for is making me realize I'm more shallow than I'd like to know :smile::bugeye:
 
  • #32
Gokul43201 said:
There is only one person that walks this planet (and others), who can answer you questions.

Find him, at all costs: https://www.physicsforums.com/member.php?u=221
:smile: :smile:
 
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  • #33
George Jones said:
You mean there is more involved than a multi-variable max/min problem with constraints? :confused: :biggrin:
Well it does involve complex analysis with lots of singularities. One has to be able to distinguish between real and imaginary, and focus on one's conjugate.
 
  • #34
moe darklight said:
All this type of thread are good for is making me realize I'm more shallow than I'd like to know :smile::bugeye:

I know I'm trying hard to be a decent person. But since even now I think with my nadgers, it's not easy. I hope I've matured beyond certain Earthly concerns, and learned to look at "love" unbound, but sadly I'm as mortal as the next man and sexual chemistry counts for a lot. I think you just trust that given enough time wisdom intercedes despite the things that make you merely an animal. But there is still just someone that makes you go OMFG! And lose your ability to think rationally. It's a rocky road. :smile:
 

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