Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.

 

[davenn]

What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.

 

[OCR]

...

Montana roads repairs.

You " monkeyed " with that sign... didn't you ?

You know it always used to be...

O.K. as living in a country where there isn't a general speed limit...

Unless, you're talking about where you live ?

In Montana, it's 80 mph max on most interstates... it used to be 'reasonable and prudent'... basically, not over 90.

 

[mfb]

Unless, you're talking about where you live ?

Where we (Germans)[/size] are going, we don't need speed limits!

 

[Pepper Mint]

View attachment 105509

What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.

I find that I love a brrr-ito without a wrapper.

 

[fresh_42]

This definitely ain't Rodeo Dr.

If you are going to make this stunt, it automatically becomes Rodeo Dr.. For a brief moment. Then it'll turn into Sunset Blvd.

Edit: And if you're going to make it, they'll call it walk of fame!

 

[davenn]

cant win !

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14141578_1111616325540267_3894683967962366438_n.jpg?oh=0d2e4d680cf33c85e3e03f3be287dcef&oe=58843325

 

[fresh_42]

Someone titled a thread "energy-stress-tensor of dust" today.
I only wanted to ask him/her whether his/her frame of reference was male or female.
It's trivial in the first and a singularity in the second.

 

[jtbell]

This looks like it has something to do with Male Genetic Dirt Blindness (MGDB).

 

[davenn]

This looks like it has something to do with Male Genetic Dirt Blindness (MGDB).

is that akin to selective deafness ??

 

[BillTre]

While lamenting the demise of my snappy comeback to a recent creationist post (first time I have dealt with this on this forum, so wasn't sure what would happen), I was reminded of a friend's Mad magazine from the 60's.
It had a feature: Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, which are both stupid and entertaining.

Looks like the guy who writes (or wrote) it is 93 now.

 

[jtbell]

A guy pulls into a gas station. The clerk notices two penguins in the back seat.

Clerk: What's with the penguins?
Guy: I found them along the road a little while ago and I'm trying to figure out what to do with them.
Clerk: How about taking them to the zoo?
Guy: That's a great idea. Thanks!

He drives off. The next day he stops at the same gas station again. The clerk notices the penguins are still in the back seat.

Clerk: I thought you were going to take those penguins to the zoo?
Guy: I did. We had a great time! Today I'm taking them to the beach.

 

[davenn]

A guy pulls into a gas station. The clerk notices two penguins in the back seat.

Clerk: What's with the penguins?
Guy: I found them along the road a little while ago and I'm trying to figure out what to do with them.
Clerk: How about taking them to the zoo?
Guy: That's a great idea. Thanks!

He drives off. The next day he stops at the same gas station again. The clerk notices the penguins are still in the back seat.

Clerk: I thought you were going to take those penguins to the zoo?
Guy: I did. We had a great time! Today I'm taking them to the beach.

hahaha love it !

 

[davenn]

I'll NEVER travel with Tom Hanks

 

[Ibix]

How do Sith keep Jedi at bay and still smell fresh?

They wear de-yodarant.

 

[davenn]

Always enjoyed the Cheers TV show ... Beer facts by Cliff

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 105513

There was a road sign put up, which became famous at least in the UK, which says "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only". Being in Wales, the sign is bilingual and says, in Welsh, "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated."

Reference: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm.

 

[fresh_42]

"I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated."

Makes sense ... Obviously nobody sent him the sign ...

 

[BillTre]

Or someone took his auto response, from his office, when he was gone, as the translation.

 

[fresh_42]

Or someone took his auto response, from his office, when he was gone, as the translation.

That's what almost certainly has happened. But it is funnier to make fun of the result.

 

[Ibix]

That's what almost certainly has happened. But it is funnier to make fun of the result.

Maybe it's a gigantic conspiracy by Welsh speakers. The sign is actually fine, but they've all agreed to tell all non-speakers that it's an out-of-office message. I've only got their word for it...

 

[fresh_42]

Maybe it's a gigantic conspiracy by Welsh speakers. The sign is actually fine, but they've all agreed to tell all non-speakers that it's an out-of-office message. I've only got their word for it...

This would at least explain Matthew Stevens' results the last years ... He's probably busy with this conspiracy.

 

[Ibix]

On the subject of mis-translations, the hand dryers in the toilets at the airport nearest my wife's home town say "Touch button to start. Automatic stop" in English, French, Spanish and German. I'd been visiting for ten years before I noticed that the French flag was next to the English writing and the UK flag was next to the French writing...

 

[davenn]

hope their public liability insurance is up to date

 

[Ibix]

The auto engineering equivalent of putting the microscope objective through the slide, apparently.

PS: I like'd your post, but PF really needs a "schadenfreude" button for that one...

 

[davenn]

The auto engineering equivalent of putting the microscope objective through the slide, apparently.

did that a couple of times when doing my geology stuff at university ... learned quickly to knock that action on the head
specially when it took so long to prepare the sample of rock for the slide

 

[davenn]

looks good to me

 

[BillTre]

That is an Echer-istic in its perspective.
The glass should be in the sink to catch the beer from the faucet!

 

[davenn]

The glass should be in the sink to catch the beer from the faucet!

this is true ... the original creator took some artistic license me thinks

Dave

 

[fresh_42]

I don't see an issue. The faucet can be turned. Very useful for large glasses. They have $1l$ glasses on the Octoberfest here.
I'm still waiting for the link where to buy this fantastic installation ...