Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #3,181
fresh_42 said:
What's the nearest black hole?
Las Vegas, NV, USA
What happens in Vegas ...
hahaha nice one :smile:
 
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  • #3,182
davenn said:
https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14639829_337694539925526_2165686511216826298_n.jpg?oh=88be2f38b61d6e817f2a103395966ead&oe=58A0EE28
There's an old Looney Tunes where Yosemite Sam has had enough and demands that Bugs Bunny draw his gun, which he does by the pun above. Cartoon physics being what it is, he then shoots Sam with the drawn gun.

A bit of googling suggests that the episode is called "Hare Trigger", which deserves a mention of its own here.
 
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  • #3,183
...and speaking of rabbits.

There's a guy driving along a country road when he hears a thump. He wonders what he's hit and stops to check. It turns out to be a rabbit, which is obviously fatally wounded and breathing its last. While he's thinking if he should put the poor thing out of its misery another car pulls up. The driver sticks his head out of his window, then dives out of his car clutching a bottle from which he pours a few drops onto the rabbit. It immediately leaps up to its feet and disappears into the bushes.

"Wow!" says the first driver. "What's in that bottle?"

"Hare restorer."
 
  • #3,184
Good to have you aboard. Would you mind waiting outside my office for a few minutes while I make some calls?

...

(muffled)
K-CAWW! K-CAWW!
Ooh ooh OOH OOH AH AH AHHHH!
aWOOOga! aWOOOga!
Awwwwwwwwww aeeaeeaeeaeaeeeAWWWWW aeeaeeaeeAWWWW! Kreegah Bundolo!
 
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  • #3,185
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I would have exactly 1 and only 1 flower.

Converting what was supposed to be a lovely message into a lame joke. Hint: It can be converted back into a lovely message by adding something. :wink:
 
  • #3,186
"Because i never stopped thinking about you"?
 
  • #3,187
almost describes me :frown:

upload_2016-11-4_12-28-11.png
 
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  • #3,188
upload_2016-11-4_12-31-13.png
 
  • #3,189
mfb said:
"Because i never stopped thinking about you"?
Could be. I had another. But don't want to make the others puke. o0)
 
  • #3,190
davenn said:
View attachment 108423
So if you drank too much moonshine, you might wake up married to your cousin?
 
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  • #3,191
Borg said:
So if you drank too much moonshine, you might wake up married to your cousin?
Or wake up married to the floor. :-p
 
  • #3,192
Psinter said:
Or wake up married to the floor. :-p
If I hear / read moonshiners, I always have to think: ... or married to pushing daisies ...
 
  • #3,193
Last edited:
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  • #3,194
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
 
  • #3,195
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
 
  • #3,196
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One'a a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
 
  • #3,197
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog.
Its a Shitzhu
 
  • #3,198
Bill Gates farted in an Apple store and stank up the entire place. But it's their own fault for not having windows
 
  • #3,199
Which one is bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby son?

His baby son is a little Bigger.
 
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  • #3,200
jtbell said:
Which one is bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby son?

His baby son is a little Bigger.

hahahaha that's so bad :smile:
 
  • #3,201
jtbell said:
Which one is bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby son?

His baby son is a little Bigger.
Ouch! This thread needs a pain button instead of a like.
 
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  • #3,202
Fortunately I can't claim credit for that one. A contestant on Wheel of Fortune the other night said she did standup comedy part-time, and gave that as an example. She even made host Pat Sajak wince.
 
  • #3,203
What do you call a pink long-necked bird with a hacking cough?

A phlegmingo.
 
  • #3,204
A man fell into a lens grinding machine.
He made a spectacle of himself.
 
  • #3,205
Did you har about the man that lost his left leg and left arm in an accident?
He's all right now.
 
  • #3,207
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14953883_10211011281580557_5773096680507552576_n.jpg?oh=b3600042d0674d68509e94b35b896e0b&oe=58D0C977
 
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  • #3,208
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15078507_1485027284846669_2362304755225224761_n.jpg?oh=d8fa0986a46f68f7db6a92bbcc380027&oe=58CB8A57
 
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  • #3,209
davenn said:
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15078507_1485027284846669_2362304755225224761_n.jpg?oh=d8fa0986a46f68f7db6a92bbcc380027&oe=58CB8A57
Unfortunately, that joke works only for Americans, I think.:frown:
 
  • #3,210
DrGreg said:
Unfortunately, that joke works only for Americans, I think.:frown:
At least it helps a lot not to know, how he is pronounced correctly. (Still searching where this van is supposed to be ... :cool:)
 

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