Collection of Lame Jokes

[EnumaElish]

Another board I read has a knight, Sir Chenjin (say it out loud).

I don't get it.

 

[1oldman2]

I don't get it.

(search engine = Sir Chenjin)

 

[fresh_42]

(search engine = Sir Chenjin)

And I took it for "the changing" which is pretty meaningless ...
Thanks for clarification.

 

[davenn]

ohhhh dear ..

 

[fresh_42]

ohhhh dear ..

View attachment 107575

Pulp fiction fan?

 

[davenn]

Pulp fiction fan?

ohhh, Yes indeed :)

 

[fresh_42]

What's the difference between a celebrity, a firefighter and a physicist?

Spoiler: warning: it hurts

For a celebrity, fame is everything.
For a firefighter, flame is everything.
For a physicist, frame is everything.

 

[Ibix]

Why did the programmer die of starvation in the shower?

The instructions on the shampoo bottle said "Wash, rinse, repeat"

 

[Bystander]

I don't get it.

One more time --- slowly --- and, out loud --- I didn't either --- at first, or second --- but, third time's the "charm."

 

[EnumaElish]

(search engine = Sir Chenjin)

I still don't get it. Is it supposed to sound out "Another bored irate ..."? Or "A mother board"?

 

[jim mcnamara]

Try sirch enjin - phonetically sound it out

Otherwise you must be making a point unrelated to the 'I do not get it'. Which I do not get...

 

[1oldman2]

I still don't get it. Is it supposed to sound out "Another bored irate ..."?

Forget everything but Sir Chenjin

 

[Borg]

What's the difference between a celebrity, a firefighter and a physicist?

Spoiler: warning: it hurts

For a celebrity, fame is everything.
For a firefighter, flame is everything.
For a physicist, frame is everything.

Spoiler: This thread

For this thread, lame is everything

 

[Bystander]

still don't get it.

Langauge barrier/hurdle/confusion/translation problem?

 

[jtbell]

I still don't get it.

What's your native language? Maybe "Sir Chenjin" is pronounced differently in some other languages than in English.

 

[Sophia]

I still don't get it. Is it supposed to sound out "Another bored irate ..."? Or "A mother board"?

Words below each other sound the same, read aloud

Search____engine
SirCh______ enjin

I guess maybe you read j in Chenjine as J in Jacques? This joke assumes you read it as j in jam. Also Ch could be alternatively read as K, Russian kh (letter x in azbuka), or even sh as in Charles (French name) but in this case, it should sound as ch in sandwich.
yeah, this joke is harder to understand for speakers of other languages.

 

[OCR]

Ever get lost in the woods ?
You won't if you just... ( C'mon -- say it -- fast -- three times... )

" Tie twine to three tree twigs."...

 

[davenn]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xtp1/t31.0-8/14706958_665813663576450_510840891464061231_o.jpg

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14432982_1615937068698734_907566644400085807_n.jpg?oh=3ce4c1d89f293ca6a5900f7a2b6fd99a&oe=58A3AA59

 

[davenn]

haha

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14657342_10210509874641047_3207152573077612995_n.jpg?oh=8df8fad63c034e9806f648f27d594223&oe=5860D918

 

[Ibix]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14432982_1615937068698734_907566644400085807_n.jpg?oh=3ce4c1d89f293ca6a5900f7a2b6fd99a&oe=58A3AA59

I was going to make some kind of "four crying out loud" pun. But then I realized that there are no angles given and the diagram as labelled cannot be to scale. 10/10, in that case...

 

[Sophia]

An old lady offers her neighbour nuts for free. The man gratefully accepts.
This repeats for a few days and then the man asks:

"Grandma, why do you buy those nuts when you can't eat them? "

" I buy Tofiffee. "

 

[EnumaElish]

Forget everything but Sir Chenjin

OK. Now I get it.

So I am not to sound out "forget everything but"? (A joke)

 

[Ibix]

My son appeared this morning wearing a backpack with a shark fin (ref), waving a lightsaber, and claiming to serve the shark side of the force.

I have trained this one well.

 

[Bystander]

I have trained this one well.

"Well trained this one you have."

 

[fresh_42]

My son appeared this morning wearing a backpack with a shark fin (ref), waving a lightsaber, and claiming to serve the shark side of the force.

I have trained this one well.

This reminds me of the following story.

Once I had a temporary daughter (modern times ...) and when she got bullied by one of her classmates, I taught her to respond something incredibly smart, so the other one would look like an idiot. So she learned by heart a mathematical phrase.

However, I didn't expect her running around on her mom's regular Line Dance event, telling everybody she could get a hold on, that $\pi$ isn't in any Galois extension of $\mathbb{Q}$. Oh dear ...

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14666161_10209152958834616_2172086070718958921_n.jpg?oh=61c98ba343d813c2bee7432c4f7c1a35&oe=58AB2589

 

[sophiecentaur]

This reminds me of the following story.

Once I had a temporary daughter (modern times ...) and when she got bullied by one of her classmates, I taught her to respond something incredibly smart, so the other one would look like an idiot. So she learned by heart a mathematical phrase.

However, I didn't expect her running around on her mom's regular Line Dance event, telling everybody she could get a hold on, that $\pi$ isn't in any Galois extension of $\mathbb{Q}$. Oh dear ...

Time to get your hat and coat, I think, Dave. [emoji12]

 

[lightandmatter]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was stapled to Sid Vicious.

I thought the chicken crossed the road to see their flat mate.

 

[sophiecentaur]

I thought the chicken crossed the road to see their flat mate.

Wasn't that the hedgehog?