Collection of Lame Jokes

[mfb]

If we go by implications and how the rule is meant then you can never ride the bus free via "the second rule" because there is no such thing. A strictly literal interpretation is the only thing that makes more free rides possible. A strictly literal interpretation allows seniors to have free rides on every day.

 

[Ophiolite]

As a person of advanced years I am concerned about this apparent demand I travel somewhere every day and that has to be by bus! Couldn't I just stay at home trying to make up lame jokes?

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Water beats electricity. Not new.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

The first rule doesn't say anything about seniors on other weekdays. On Wednesday the seniors can board the bus/train using the first rule, on other days they tell the driver about the first rule and board it using the second rule.

Or do it like Luxembourg...

... semantic misunderstanding jokes ...
... ...
Sounds like a bad deal for seniors who can only ride free on Wednesdays.

The burden of context for an analytical brain lol

There's also the "singular" case where the bus driver is a senior citizen! ... He always rides for free!

 

[jack action]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 237496​

Or "will you pseudo-marry me?"

 

[Borg]

Where have I seen that before?

https://xkcd.com/149/

 

[WWGD]

They found a collection of uninhabited islands and named it after a dumb guy: " No brains atoll"

 

[Ibix]

They found a collection of uninhabited islands and named it after a dumb guy: " No brains atoll"

Or Nobody Atoll? Or is that Notfunny Atoll?

 

[fresh_42]

Or Nobody Atoll? Or is that Notfunny Atoll?

How about: "The three items atoll"?

 

[WWGD]

It's actually an optical illusion: Godel's Not At All Atoll.

I think I tortured this one to death.

 

[fresh_42]

It's actually an optical illusion: Godel's Not At All Atoll.

I think I tortured this one to death.

Shouldn't you have said Escher is not all Atoll in this context?

 

[mfb]

The band Atoll bought it, now you have to pay a toll.

Atoll's Not At All Atoll toll.

 

[WWGD]

EDITNo way, tell the band Atoll, there is no toll at all in the atoll, neither tall nor small. And, while we're at it: Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo, Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

 

[DaveC426913]

One of my own:

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

One of my own:

View attachment 237512

Now I understand why the law works! ...

 

[davenn]

Giving away ...

 

[phinds]

Giving away ...

View attachment 237609

 

[davenn]

how about this one for bad, then ...

 

[Ibix]

I downloaded The Polar Express. It's buffering now.

 

[fresh_42]

I downloaded Cliffhanger, but it leaped.

 

[phinds]

how about this one for bad, then ...

View attachment 237614

Jeez, you REALLY need to check the dosage on your meds

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I downloaded The Polar Express. It's buffering now.

I downloaded Cliffhanger, but it leaped.

I downloaded ... Hmmmm (Dementia)

 

[mfb]

I started watching The Matrix, how do I get out?

 

[fresh_42]

I started watching The Matrix, how do I get out?

Download a Beatles movie! I thought of the second, but the others appear also promising.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I started watching The Matrix, how do I get out?

You don't! Keep dreaming ...
[Your new name: M mfb]

 

[Ibix]

I downloaded Ali, but it skipped.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Giving away ...

How generous!

View attachment 237280

View attachment 237315

Me: what is coffee?

View attachment 237414

Don't you love these fast and stylish bikes?!

 

[YoungPhysicist]

I started watching The Matrix, how do I get out?

Try calling the phone when you watch The Matrix.

 

[fresh_42]

I downloaded Ali, but it skipped.

I have an iPhone, it only downloads iNoon.

 

[Ophiolite]

Giving away ...

View attachment 237609

Do they come with a cell by date?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Do they come with a cell by date?

No! With a "You get paid to pick up guarantee"!

 

[davenn]

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod...any cod.

--------------

There has been a robbery in the butcher shop. Police have beefed up the security..

 

[gmax137]

Two seagulls are sitting on a perch. The first one says, "do you smell fish?"

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Do spiders also have a spin class?

... they do, but it is web based learning

 

[jack action]

Bringing a little laugh in the winter time:

​

 

[fresh_42]

Bringing a little laugh in the winter time:

There is a physical mistake: it won't work this way.

 

[Mark44]

I downloaded The Polar Express. It's buffering now.

I downloaded Cliffhanger, but it leaped.

You guys are trying too hard...
The original joke in this subthread about "synching" the Titanic movie worked because of the play on sinking/synching.

This one is closer to the mark...

I downloaded Ali, but it skipped.

 

[davenn]

 

[256bits]

Is that a " I would if I could, but I can't so I won't."

 

[jack action]

 

[YoungPhysicist]

Came across this on YouTube:

Interesting enough, they are the pirates themselves.

 

[DrClaude]

Interesting enough, they are the pirates themselves.

This has nothing to do with counterfeit merchandise. It says it right there on the sign: it's a disco

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

those under 40 probably won't get this (two 30 yr olds at my work place didn't)

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

Programmers imagine the most ridiculous ways to enter a phone number into a form: