Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the station."

"I forgive you, go ahead and look for it."

I like to help.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[scottdave]

Here is a pic that a friend shared with me, showing a student's attempt at answering a question concerning transformers. Either the student misunderstood, or was just trying to be funny.

Not sure about the lame joke part. It is funny though.

 

[nuuskur]

6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.

Very trivial stuff, wouldn't you say? :D

 

[fresh_42]

If police pulls me over and says "papers". Will I win if I answer "scissors"?

 

[mfb]

No, you need to show papers to avoid losing. That makes the police rock, I guess?

 

[Borg]

Saw this on a fellow sysadmin's profile today.

 

[fresh_42]

Saw this on a fellow sysadmin's profile today.

View attachment 240136

http://bofh.bjash.com/

 

[davenn]

Here is a pic that a friend shared with me, showing a student's attempt at answering a question concerning transformers. Either the student misunderstood, or was just trying to be funny.
View attachment 240127
Not sure about the lame joke part. It is funny though.

would have suited science jokes

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

I taut I taw a puddy tat,
A climbin' up a twee...
I did! I taw a puddy tat,
A one, an' two, an' tree...

 

[Bystander]

You've never heard of catbirds?

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 240145

Common Cluelessness (biol.: Palaeognathae Felinae)

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

You've never heard of catbirds?

Today I learned

Catbirds

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 240147​

Looks like someone found a loophole.

<tumbleweed>

 

[fresh_42]

 

[mfb]

We just replaced dead trees by dead dinosaurs.

 

[fresh_42]

We just replaced dead trees by dead dinosaurs.View attachment 240284

Not really. The upper picture shows addiction (in its medical meaning), the behaviour in the lower didn't show such symptoms.

 

[mfb]

The upper picture shows addiction (in its medical meaning)

You can judge that from a single picture? How?
Is everyone who uses the time in public transport to e.g. read news or mails necessarily addicted? And if yes, to what? If not, what exactly made it possible to see addiction in this case?

 

[256bits]

I don't know.
Some people did not feel right when they didn't get their sports score fix, funnies, or even the special advertising insert from the newspaper.
If one's a fixation, then both are.
If one's not, then both aren't.

 

[DrClaude]

I don't know.
Some people did not feel right when they didn't get their sports score fix, funnies, or even the special advertising insert from the newspaper.
If one's a fixation, then both are.
If one's not, then both aren't.

There is peer-reviewed literature looking into internet and social media addiction. Not for newspapers.

 

[fresh_42]

You can judge that from a single picture? How?
Is everyone who uses the time in public transport to e.g. read news or mails necessarily addicted? And if yes, to what? If not, what exactly made it possible to see addiction in this case?

This is an interpretation which I certainly did not mean. I was referring to a general difference between smart phones and newspapers, not to single incidents. And before you will attack an all quantifier I did not use, yes, it does not apply to everybody. However, my comment reflected a tendency and a significant difference.

Everyday example: I regularly have to separate my tutoring student from her smart phone before we can begin. I never had a similar experience with newspapers back then.

 

[jack action]

This thread is getting too serious. Got to bring it back to something funny:

 

[Bandersnatch]

So, I was wondering, how come the symbol for the Hubbard operator is not theta?

 

[strangerep]

[...] Got to bring it back to something funny: [simple user interface]...

 

[davenn]

haha

 

[fresh_42]

Yoda: "Dark the other side is, very dark."
.
.
.
Obi Wan: "Just eat your toast now."

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

"Today I ordered my groceries for the first time online!"
"You sent me a WhatsApp that I should go shopping."
"Yep. Online!"

 

[davenn]

 

[ChemAir]

View attachment 240536

The OCD in me wants to turn the staple puller over, so the top teeth are the larger ones...

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 240493

Only just got that one. Groan...

 

[nitsuj]

Only just got that one. Groan...

I was silent for a full 10 seconds at least lol; produced a nice chuckle when I finally got it!

 

[nitsuj]

You can judge that from a single picture? How?
Is everyone who uses the time in public transport to e.g. read news or mails necessarily addicted? And if yes, to what? If not, what exactly made it possible to see addiction in this case?

lol I don't imagine "Don't read the paper and drive" warranted a campaign all in an effort to reduce vehicular deaths.

 

[Bystander]

Only just got that one. Groan...

..., and "de-cimate" mis-use by the press, for annihilate, is one I absolutely abhor , thank you for pointing that out to me one last time.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 240563​

The data protection question is: how does the vet know one of the women has haemorrhoids?

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Changing from typewriters to computers was not easy.

 

[jack action]

The data protection question is: how does the vet know one of the women has haemorrhoids?

I didn't notice the animals, I just imagined it was a doctor's waiting room. That changes everything: Hemorrhoids might be a dog's name. Well that's less funny then.

 

[Klystron]

..., and "de-cimate" mis-use by the press, for annihilate, is one I absolutely abhor , thank you for pointing that out to me one last time.

Strongly agree. At the risk of reiterating the obvious: from Latin the verb 'decimate' = deci (tenth) + mate (murder, kill). Decimate means 'kill every tenth person in a cohort'; intended as punishment, to remind the survivors to obey.

As used in a contemporary movie, the bad guys capture an entire village. The order comes down "Decimate them". Bad guys murder everyone. Baddest guy says, "That'll teach 'em." Teach who / whom? They are all dead.

OK return to humor, now .

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Bandersnatch]

from Latin the verb 'decimate' = deci (tenth) + mate (murder, kill).

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

 

[Bystander]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology,

https://www.google.com/search?q=dec...rome..69i57.7574j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

 

[fresh_42]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

decimate (v.)
c. 1600, "to select by lot and put to death every tenth man," from Latin decimatus, past participle of decimare "the removal or destruction of one-tenth," from decem "ten" (from PIE root *dekm- "ten").

The killing of one in ten, chosen by lots, from a rebellious city or a mutinous army was a punishment sometimes used by the Romans. The word has been used (loosely and unetymologically, to the irritation of pedants) since 1660s for "destroy a large but indefinite number of." Related: Decimated; decimating.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/decimate#etymonline_v_29331

 

[davenn]