Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

hahaha

 

[Bandersnatch]

@Bystander @fresh_42 I know. But that is not the 'this etymology' I was referring to, as you can readily see by comparing your own links to what @Klystron posted. I don't feel too comfortable with my Latin, since it's been a while since I took it (and only a semester), so I'd be happy to learn that there is a 'mate' verb that means 'kill, murder', or that the word 'deci' means 'tenth' (as opposed to e.g. 'decimus').

 

[fresh_42]

decimatus, past participle of decimare

Latin decimare = punish every tenth man (with death), to: decimus = the tenth

My Latin dictionary: https://en.pons.com/translate/latin-german/decimare

• decies
• Decima
• decimana
• decimanus
• decimare

decimo - the tenth man

Google translates "smashed" which is very unfortunate.

 

[Klystron]

You'd have to show me how you got to this etymology, 'cause it looks mighty kooky.

Well, this thread is a collection of lame jokes. What is etymology of "kooky"? From the mating calls of the Kookaburra ?

My second year college Latin and Spanish teacher, Father Juan, taught that the first part of the etymology derived from Latin term for tenth decimus; the second derived from the same Latin root as the Spanish word matar, to kill. Likely not standard school book Latin but typical of the working language used by Roman troops stationed in Western Europe before ~550 C.E.

Now I am curious if Romans actually used the word decimate in Latin form. Educated Latin writers usually avoided soldierly slang unless they were being funny or writing plays AFAIK. The elision seems to indicate early Spanish/French word migration to late-middle English, as some dictionaries suggest; supporting Fra Juan's thesis.

[edit: Posted before reading @fresh_42 latest. Thanks.]

 

[Bandersnatch]

Spoiler: linguistics; offtopic

Right. Here's why it looks to me like folk etymology, though: the root decimus + verb ending already accounts for all the sounds in decimare apart from /a/, while macto requires additionally invoking elision for /k/ and /t/ (that /t/ appears again in past participle ending is irrelevant). One would think the compound nature would be reflected in the word e.g. as decimmactare or some such frankenword. So that there exists a verb that partially maps to the second half of the past participle form of decimare and means 'to kill/to punish' might just be a coincidence.
In the end, none of the few dictionaries I looked up mention this second root word, not even etymonline - and they're always very thorough, going right to the PIE roots where possible, as well as being keen to point out ambiguity and hypotheses. While I have no reason to mistrust the power of Padre Juan's Latin-fu, it's still just anecdotal evidence.

But here's a lame joke to stay on topic:

 

[Wrichik Basu]

But here's a lame joke to stay on topic:
View attachment 240601

Already posted before in this thread, by davenn I believe.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Damn. I should have run it through anti-plagiarism software before submitting for publication.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: for those that are not Aussies or Kiwis

 

[jack action]

for those that are not Aussies or Kiwis

You don't have to be an Aussie or Kiwi to know who Men at Work are and what their legacy is, they conquer us all up North as well. You just need to be over 45 or so to remember it.

 

[fresh_42]

You don't have to be an Aussie or Kiwi to know who Men at Work are and what their legacy is, they conquer us all up North as well. You just need to be over 45 or so to remember it.

... and they won't stay downunder ...

 

[davenn]

... and they won't stay downunder ...

what can I say ... Us Kiwis and Aussies just love to travel

 

[jtbell]

Did you ever wonder who got all those leprechauns hooked on smoking meerschaum pipes?

Nick O'Tine

 

[Ibix]

Did you ever wonder who got all those leprechauns hooked on smoking meerschaum pipes?

Nick O'Tine

But they can now get free advice and support to quit from the National Elf Service.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrGreg]

Sorry, I don't get this joke.

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 240941
Sorry, I don't get this joke.

That's not the joke. @fresh_42 posted a link to Facebook which your browser is not displaying.

 

[DrGreg]

That's not the joke. @fresh_42 posted a link to Facebook which your browser is not displaying.

Yes, I knew that. My response was intended as a joke in itself. But I obviously failed.

 

[DrClaude]

Yes, I knew that. My response was intended as a joke in itself. But I obviously failed.

I wondered if that was the case.

 

[fresh_42]

I'm not really a fan of videos, it was more a test of PF5 than a joke, although it is funny, or sad.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Mark44]

Note on the office bulletin board.

To the person who stole my anti-depression medication: I hope you're happy now!​

 

[Ophiolite]

I admire medical people. Especially brain surgeons. You have to take your hat off to them.

 

[jack action]

Whoever has the Voodoo doll of me, can you please scratch my butt?

Thanks, I'm in a public place right now and cannot do it myself.

 

[jtbell]

I wonder whose idea of a lame joke it was to put this pillar right in, and blocking, one of the sidewalks leading up to our college’s admissions office.

 

[strangerep]

I wonder whose idea of a lame joke it was to put this pillar right in, and blocking, one of the sidewalks leading up to our college’s admissions office.

No, it's a clever device to stop moronic pests reaching the admissions office. I think I'll install one of those on my front pathway too.

[Edit:] Or maybe it's to give students some practice with the essential skill of repeatedly banging one's head against brick walls?

 

[fresh_42]

No, it's a clever device to stop moronic pests reaching the admissions office. I think I'll install one of those on my front pathway too.

I know this works in GB, not sure about the states, but everywhere else in Europe it would just ruin the lawn.

 

[mfb]

Great for wheelchair users...

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Seven reaction options, and still none of them is "groan"...

 

[WWGD]

Do you know Michael Sage?
I think he's 35.

 

[WWGD]

@Bystander @fresh_42 I know. But that is not the 'this etymology' I was referring to, as you can readily see by comparing your own links to what @Klystron posted. I don't feel too comfortable with my Latin, since it's been a while since I took it (and only a semester), so I'd be happy to learn that there is a 'mate' verb that means 'kill, murder', or that the word 'deci' means 'tenth' (as opposed to e.g. 'decimus').

I will start being careful when someone calls me 'mate' from now on.

 

[WWGD]

These are the guys who also had trouble opening a plastic bag...

 

[WWGD]

I'm not really a fan of videos, it was more a test of PF5 than a joke, although it is funny, or sad.

I didn't get this one either.

 

[fresh_42]

I will start being careful when someone calls me 'mate' from now on.

Mate is really good, you should try it. I prefer the smoked variant.
(And yes, I do not like that English doesn't provide a distinction between geräuchert and geraucht. So no jokes please, it is not my fault that English has a gap here.)

 

[davenn]

Mate is really good, you should try it. I prefer the smoked variant.
(And yes, I do not like that English doesn't provide a distinction between geräuchert and geraucht. So no jokes please, it is not my fault that English has a gap here.)

well ... that belongs in the thread ... "Today I learned" ... I never knew

of course in Aussie and NZ at least, "mate" would always refer to friend

as in ...


a classic ol Aussie song

 

[fresh_42]

well ... that belongs in the thread ... "Today I learned" ... I never knew

of course in Aussie and NZ at least, "mate" would always refer to friend

I like the British version:

 

[WWGD]

I like the British version:

Not too sexy for their shirts?

 

[Steelwolf]

Why do you only come across lame puns? All the good ones run away!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I once thought about a career in the hotel industry,
but I had too many reservations.

 

[davenn]

one for my fellow Monty Python fans

this is brilliant!

 

[fresh_42]

"How did you celebrate your birthday?"
"No idea. I haven't seen the photos, yet."

 

[jtbell]

Have you heard? Six of the Seven Dwarfs have gone on strike because they're not Happy.

 

[davenn]

What a dreadful night. I dreamt something bit me on the neck.

I even got up to check, but the mirror's not working.

 

[Steelwolf]

Do you know why they never tortured Bilbo Baggins? A bad Hobbit is hard to break.

 

[DrClaude]

Seven reaction options, and still none of them is "groan"...

@Greg Bernhardt: we really, really need that reaction!

Have you heard? Six of the Seven Dwarfs have gone on strike because they're not Happy.

Do you know why they never tortured Bilbo Baggins? A bad Hobbit is hard to break.