The Elderly Pirate came in for a physical, and the doctor told him that aside from the peg leg, the hook hand and missing an eye, he was fit as a fiddle at 75 yrs old. He was curious though, just how the pirate had lost said parts. The Elderly Pirate was happy to recount his tales, explaining that it was a cannon shot that took his leg off just below the knee, clean as could be, cauterized even. And then years later, in a sword combat, he lost his left hand blocking a deadly swing. The doctor was very interested, and asked how he managed to loose the eye. Well, said the Elderly Pirate, I was checking the rigging of the ship one day, and this seagull came over and deposited, right straight into my eye. The doctor expresses surprise as he has never heard of anyone losing an eye to seagull crap. The Pirate tells him, "Yea, but you see, I had only had the hook fer two days..."
