A bit of foreword on this one, The Polish peoples are very much against any sort of 'ethnic joke', not just for all the Polock jokes, but because of all the wars that have been fought Through Poland. Well, one night in a tavern there was a group of Polish teachers that had come into teach at the local University, and they were laughing and having a good time, and me, knowing the Polish mindset on ethnic jokes in general and Polish jokes in particular since I am 1/3 Polish myself...I went over to their table and introduced myself, and gave them the proposition of that I would tell a Polish Joke, and if they did not like it, then I would buy their drinks for the rest of the night, if they liked the joke, they would buy for me. They agreed, and so I began:
Once, not all that long ago, there was a Polish Farmer out tilling his field and he came across this old Persian style Lamp. He goes to brush the dirt off the lamp and a Genie appears, and is profoundly thankful to the Polish Farmer, and so tells him that he may wish for anything his heart may desire. Well, the Farmer starts to think, and he thinks, and he thinks for some time more, and finally he says: "I Wish that the entire Mongol Horde to come and camp on the Polish Border overnight, and in the morning to go home."
The Genie, with an astonished look on his face, says "Your Wish is My Command Oh Great One", and the sound of horses hooves filled the air, clouds of dust on the horizon and then that night they could see fires strung all along the Polish Border. Then, in the morning they all left, and went home.
The Genie goes back to the Polish Farmer and states, "I have fulfilled your wish Oh Great One, what now is your Second Wish?" The Polish Farmer sits and thinks, and thinks, and thinks a while more, finally, just before the Genie is about to prod the Farmer, the Polish Farmer speaks up and says: "I Wish that the Entire Mongol Horde to Come and Camp on the Polish Border Overnight, and in the Morning to go Home."
The Genie is again astonished, yet again states "Your Wish Is My Command" and the ground quivers with the sound of horses hooves, the dust billows high into the air and the scream of women and shouts of men can be heard, fires dot the entire Polish border overnight, and again, in the morning, they all go home.
The Genie goes back to the Farmer and tells him that he has completed his second wish, and to Please think carefully about the third wish, you could have riches, wealth beyond any desire, anything you could possibly want. "But, pray Sire, what is your Third Wish?" The Polish Farmer again, hardly stopping to think at all, declares "I Wish that the Entire Mongol Horde Comes and Camps on the Polish Border overnight, and in the Morning to go Home."
The Genie is perplexed, but he has been ordered! So, He again states that "Your Wish is My Command" and the ground shook and trembled under the horses hooves, the dust clouds covered the land, there was wild shrieking, screaming and partying well into the night and much of the morning, with all of the fires forming a single chain that went all around the Polish Border, and then, later, once things had gotten reorganized and back underway, a might later, being the third day, they again all went home.
The Genie, being vastly perplexed, and not at all understanding, went back to the Farmer, and asked him, "You could have had riches, never had to farm again, could have had anything in the world, why did you wish for That, and for 3 times in a row even? I just do not understand it."
The Polish Farmer tells him, "Well, I had you bring the Entire Mongol Horde here, around the Polish Border, and then go home the next day, right?" The Genie nodded, "Well," said the Farmer, "since I had you do this 3 days in a row. Those Mongols Went and Crossed Russia Six Times!"Footnote: I drank my IPAs for the rest of that night on that group of teaching Poles, and a great time was had by all!
