Collection of Lame Jokes
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The fun part is to locate it. Maybe it should have been a science joke.Borg said:I think there's a hole in your logic.
Stavros Kiri
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More swiss cheese is less swiss cheese ... [than it would be without the holes ...]fresh_42 said:
Mentor
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Trivial. There are several holes. I highlighted them for convenience:fresh_42 said:
dkotschessaa
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Yup..fresh_42 said:
OmCheeto
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How does the ocean get your attention?
It waves!
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You mean I have been wrong all the time I went to the Jimjtbell said:
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How does an electron get your attention?OmCheeto said:
It particles.
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The acoustician got back his paper from peer. It had been rejected. It wasn't sound.
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dkotschessaa
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fresh_42 said:
Was it ear-reviewed?
AlexCaledin
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On the Socks Symmetry Change.
When the socks become distinguishable into left and right, they are considered dirty.
When the socks become distinguishable into left and right, they are considered dirty.
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"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Police."
"What do you want?"
"Talk."
"How many are you?"
"Two."
"Talk to each other!"
"Who's there?"
"Police."
"What do you want?"
"Talk."
"How many are you?"
"Two."
"Talk to each other!"
Psinter
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Me: How much does it cost to send a letter to Washington?
Friend: Who is it going to?
Me: Washington.
*silence*
Friend: Who is it going to?
Me: Washington.
*silence*
dkotschessaa
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"Anti-Jokes" For some reason I find these lamely hilarious:
A horse walks into a bar. Several people got up and left as they realized the potential danger in this situation.
You mama so fat, she should be concerned because obesity is a serious problem.
A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"It's the police. There's been a terrible accident."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? It isn't. Numbers are insentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people got up and left as they realized the potential danger in this situation.
You mama so fat, she should be concerned because obesity is a serious problem.
A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"It's the police. There's been a terrible accident."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? It isn't. Numbers are insentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
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See also FlexGunship's "defused jokes".dkotschessaa said:
Psinter
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Don't drink and drive? Says who? Look at me drinking this whole bottle of water and then drive to the workplace.
20 minutes later:
I shouldn't have done that. I'm stuck in this traffic congestion and I really need to go to the bathroom now.
20 minutes later:
I shouldn't have done that. I'm stuck in this traffic congestion and I really need to go to the bathroom now.
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A chemistry variant on "Hu is the new leader of China" - 57 panels long:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2349
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2349
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2349
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2349
Stavros Kiri
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What do you call a young male puppy?
A: "Son of a b..ch"
A: "Son of a b..ch"
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Staff Emeritus
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Ibix said:
Maxwell Smart: Who's that?
Policeman: That's Hoo.
Smart: Who's who?
Policeman: He's Hoo.
Smart: Oh, he's who. What are you talking about?
Quotes from Get Smart: The Amazing Harry Hoo
Science Advisor
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Who's on first?jtbell said:
Science Advisor
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Some ideas for Valentine's Day presents:
Photo credit: Roger McLassus on Wikipedia Commons
Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2006-02-04_Metal_spiral.jpg
Licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
Photo credit: Eddie Maloney on flickr
Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/22147358@N04/3132167221
Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/
Photo credit: Roger McLassus on Wikipedia Commons
Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2006-02-04_Metal_spiral.jpg
Licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
Photo credit: Eddie Maloney on flickr
Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/22147358@N04/3132167221
Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/
Attachments
Psinter
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8 dollars?! Why do you want 4 dollars if $2 are more than enough? Here, have $1 and don't complain.
-Employers setting hourly salary
-Employers setting hourly salary
Stavros Kiri
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Wife: "the gynecologist said no sex for a month!"
Husband: "[agrrr!] WHY?!"
Wife: "because he's got a back pain! ..."
Husband: "[agrrr!] WHY?!"
Wife: "because he's got a back pain! ..."