Collection of Lame Jokes

[Stavros Kiri]

Teacher calls the parent: "Mr Smith please control and restrain your son, because he tells many lies!"
Smith: "Gee! He must be a heck of a lier, because ... I DON'T HAVE A SON!"

 

[fresh_42]

And there was this famous tenor at the met. He received one da capo after the other and as he had repeated his third time he sang the aria there were still shouts "Da capo!" from the balcony. He gesticulated that he was too exhausted now, but there still was the call: "Da capo! Da capo! Until you know how to do it!"

 

[fresh_42]

"There are leftovers from yesterday: apple pie, cheescake and torte. Want to have it?"
"Yes, please."
"Which one?"
"I don't understand the question."

 

[WWGD]

Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, it is too crowded! (Yogi Berra).

 

[256bits]

Hannibal the cannibal was late for dinner.
He got the cold shoulder.

 

[WWGD]

There was a rumor Idi Amin, former Ugandan ruler, was a cannibal*. Once, during a flight, they asked him what he wanted for dinner. He replies: " The fat guy on row 3, with potatos and salad."

* Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)

 

[256bits]

Ha Just please don't call me late for dinner.

 

[fresh_42]

Ha Just please don't call me late for dinner.

Why? Shoulder is a good piece for BBQ.

 

[fresh_42]

Working at home is crap!
(Joe, 42, firefighter)

 

[WWGD]

iRack?

It is in Pakistan, which is between iRack and a Hard Place ( Maybe the Hard Rack cafe' in Pakistan)..

 

[256bits]

]

Working at home is crap!
(Joe, 42, firefighter)

The mime said " "
( I think he agrees, but I'm not too sure.

 

[Mark44]

Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

 

[davenn]

There was a rumor Idi Amin, former Ugandan ruler, was a cannibal*. Once, during a flight, they asked him what he wanted for dinner. He replies: " The fat guy on row 3, with potatos and salad."

* Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

wellllllll ... to be a little pedantic haha

the nickname is 256bit

256 bits = 32 bytes ( under the original 1byte = 8 bits system) ...
let you do the rest of the math for your KB

 

[256bits]

32$ all the loose change counted up that fateful day.

 

[mfb]

256 bit - either a tiny bit of memory, or complete memory loss from alcohol poisoning.

 

[WWGD]

Did you mean KB/4?
256 bytes is one fourth of a Kilobyte.

Yes, my bad.

 

[Ibix]

What do you call a worried dinosaur?

A nervous rex

 

[DrGreg]

Q. Where can you buy a baby dinosaur?

A. Tyrannos "Я" Us

 

[davenn]

hahaha nice one

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Al Bundy (in married with children) answers an oral questionnaire. Question (4 possible answers):
"How do you like to spend your vacation?"
Answer A: with your wife

Al Bundy: ... B, B !

 

[jtbell]

"There's one thing I've always wanted to do before I quit: Retire."
-- Groucho Marx

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

 

[davenn]

"There's one thing I've always wanted to do before I quit: Retire."
-- Groucho Marx

speaking of retire (d)

 

[davenn]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

View attachment 207053

And I can make the moon move ... just by staring at it for 30 minutes! ...

 

[256bits]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

I laugh three times when given a joke.
When its told
When it's explained to me
When I finally get it.

 

[256bits]

I have such awesome superpowers hahahaha ...

A Chuck Norris fan/trainee!

 

[davenn]

One from WWII: Two Germans walk into a B.A.R.

I laugh three times when given a joke.
When its told
When it's explained to me
When I finally get it.

I'm still awaiting for that second part ... went over my head

 

[jtbell]

To me, "B.A.R." in a German context means Berliner Außenring, but I tend to have a single track mind (er, double track in this case).

 

[Ibix]

A Browning Automatic Rifle is a kind of WWII era light machine gun widely used by US troops.