Collection of Lame Jokes

[OCR]

...went over my head...

Damn... you're lucky ! ..

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

I'm still awaiting for that second part ... went over my head

Browning Automatic Rifle Model 1918A. It was such a good weapon that it wasn't issued to our troops in France during WWI.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

A Browning Automatic Rifle is a kind of WWII era light machine gun widely used by US troops.

Ahem. "M1918A".

But you're right, the BARs were a squad weapon and ferocious in battle.

 

[Ibix]

Ahem. "M1918A".

The Wikipedia article says it wasn't used significantly in WWI but was heavily used in WWII and Korea et al. I didn't think its entire operational history was necessary to get the joke...

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

The Wikipedia article says it wasn't used significantly in WWI but was heavily used in WWII and Korea et al. I didn't think its entire operational history was necessary to get the joke...

For me the joke was the BAR was considered so good that the Army wouldn't issue it to the troops in WWI. They were afraid the Germans would capture one and copy it. DOH!

 

[jtbell]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

 

[fresh_42]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

Thanks. Really. Now I understand why I was so thirsty today.

 

[Drakkith]

Thanks. Really. Now I understand why I was so thirsty today.

Because it's Thirst-day?

 

[DrGreg]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

Especially at 2.30

 

[OCR]

They were afraid the Germans would capture one and copy it. DOH!

Yup....

The intentional delay had been inspired by general Pershing, the A.E.F. Commander, in order not to let the BAR fall into enemy hands too early.

 

[davenn]

On which day of the week is a dentist busiest?

Toothday.

 

[davenn]

and still on the medical theme

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

Yup....

http://www.ibiblio.org/hyperwar/USN/ref/MG/

 

[Ibix]

and still on the medical theme

View attachment 207145

Which is odd when you think about it, because PET scan.

 

[jtbell]

WHAT DO YOU CALL POSTING IN ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS LIKE THIS?

A capital offense.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

WHAT DO YOU CALL POSTING IN ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS LIKE THIS?

A capital offense.

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

 

[mfb]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

$&$%?

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

$&$%?

"...and for gosh sakes, watch your language!"

 

[Ibix]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

 

[fresh_42]

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

 

[Charles Link]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

 

[Ibix]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

Spoiler

Perch

 

[DrGreg]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

 

[Charles Link]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

It wood !

 

[WWGD]

One of the items in the chain's menu was named "The Feast" , and its number was 13. 13 --not 666 -- is the number of the feast ?!

 

[Ibix]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Always wondered how Roman engineers built all those aqueducts, etc. with such system: XVI times MCD minus LVII = ...?!?

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Actually, 13 is the feast and one of its neighbors is the Biryani: I would tell them Biryani factors as 23 29 , but I already have a reputation and I don't want to end up in a straight jacket.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

That's some kind of maths joke, right?