Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #7,251
Screen Shot 2020-04-20 at 8.41.43 AM.png
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #7,252
BillTre said:
Mom: "You should have also social distanced your asymptomaticness from him to avoid this!" ...
 
  • #7,253
A sad day for engineers to find this out, but ...
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  • #7,254
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  • #7,255
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  • #7,256
phinds said:
A sad day for engineers to find this out, but ...
View attachment 261053
Combine that with some WD-40 and we're good to go.
 
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  • #7,257
collinsmark said:
Combine that with some WD-40 and we're good to go.
No, WD-40 is also not a good substitute for toilette paper.
 
  • #7,258
phinds said:
No, WD-40 is also not a good substitute for toilette paper.
It's the combination of the WD-40 with the Duct Tape. Together they can do anything.
 
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  • #7,259
collinsmark said:
It's the combination of the WD-40 with the Duct Tape. Together they can do anything.
Do not argue. He only used the wrong side of the duct tape.
 
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  • #7,260
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  • #7,261
Quarantine, day 20 diary entry:
Today I melted an ice cube by just staring at it and focusing on wanting
it to melt. It took a lot longer that I had expected.


The drop in gas prices during this quarantine is like a bald guy winning a hair brush

What's the difference between Las Vegas and Wuhan? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
 
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  • #7,262
Screen Shot 2020-04-22 at 2.07.45 PM.png
 
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  • #7,263
The first panel is a roller-coaster.

"I hear you are going to [a] nice ..."
- Oh, it's the city, change the pronunciation
- Oh, the pronunciation is corrected by the other one, so it was pronounced incorrectly.
 
  • #7,265
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  • #7,266
I went to the doctor the other day.

"Doctor, I have this song running through my mind all the time -- 'The Green, Green, Grass of Home'."
Doctor: "It sounds like you have developed Tom Jones Syndrome."
Me: "Is that pretty common?"
Doctor: "It's not unusual."
 
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  • #7,267
Screen Shot 2020-04-23 at 9.26.04 AM.png
 
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  • #7,268
So I rang the gym the other day and asked if the guy could teach me to do the splits. "How flexible are you?" he asked me. "Well," I said, "I can't do Tuesdays."
 
  • #7,269
BillTre said:
Does his collection include an egress like the one P. T. Barnum had?
 
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  • #7,270
jtbell said:
Does his collection include an egress like the one P. T. Barnum had?
I was wondering the same thing. :smile:
 
  • #7,271
jtbell said:
Does his collection include an egress like the one P. T. Barnum had?
I didn't know that story... For anyone else confused, see http://www.ptbarnum.org/egress.html.
 
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  • #7,272
How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
 
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  • #7,273
phinds said:
Oh geez. That reminds me of when, at the very young age of 4, I needed to have a hernia operation. For some reason, they couldn't use anaesthetic-by-needle on me, and instead used a chloroform mask. :oldeek:

It was the most devastatingly horrendously terrifying experience of my tender life up to that point. It seemed like I was screaming for an eternity before I lost consciousness.
 
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  • #7,274
fishing buddy and virus.jpg
 
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  • #7,275
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  • #7,276
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  • #7,277
Screen Shot 2020-04-26 at 9.27.36 AM.png
 
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  • #7,278
In Venice the pollution levels have reduced so much, the handbags are starting to swim again.

In Venice hand bags swimming again.jpg
 
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  • #7,279
Screen Shot 2020-04-26 at 12.48.29 PM.png
 
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  • #7,280
Are you still having trouble finding toilet paper? Try your local bakery.

tpcake.jpg
 
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  • #7,281
jtbell said:
Are you still having trouble finding toilet paper? Try your local bakery.

View attachment 261566
It's glutein free as well, according to the sign...
 
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  • #7,282
I miss people.jpg
 
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  • #7,283
taking ring to Mordor.jpg
 
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  • #7,284
They did practice social distancing on the way.
 
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  • #7,285
IdioticDearestImago-size_restricted.gif

 
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  • #7,286
jack action said:
IdioticDearestImago-size_restricted.gif

I think we've had questions like that.
 
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  • #7,287
Why Psychologists should avoid narrow doors in their offices. Sign:
A Smith
Psycho-
the-
Rapist
 
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  • #7,288
BillTre said:
Reminds of this one.
( it has to be said with some slang and slurring )

You know a city in Alaska?
Everybody knows Juneau.
What? Do you know.
Yes, Juneau,
I asked you first.
 
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  • #7,289
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  • #7,290
Or the Miss America pageant joke on rabbits:
Do you want to know how to catch a unique rabbit?

Yes, How?

You neak up on it

Do you want to know how to catch a tame rabbit?

The tame way you neak up on it.
 
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  • #7,291
Screen Shot 2020-04-28 at 7.22.05 AM.png
 
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  • #7,293
  • #7,294
Harrison Ford has released a compilation of songs that are based on the Star Wars trilogy.

It's his first Solo album.
 
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  • #7,295
flat earthers fear.jpg
 
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  • #7,296
davenn said:
Harrison Ford has released a compilation of songs that are based on the Star Wars trilogy.

It's his first Solo album.
Yes, and he searched for quite a while till he found an Indie label which published it.
 
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  • #7,297
Question: who declared Covid-19 as a pandemic?
Answer: WHO declared Covid-19 as a pandemic
 
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  • #7,298
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  • #7,299
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  • #7,300
phinds said:
Ya really got to wonder about the intelligence of some of these dope huh ?
 

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