Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #4,411
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: "Why the long face?"
 
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  • #4,412
Mark44 said:
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: "Why the long face?"
White Horse: "Because I'm fed up with all the other bartenders saying there's a whisky named after me. It's all fake news! There's no whisky called 'Eric'!"
 
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  • #4,413
Ibix said:
Yeah. They really need another stepladder cable-tied (!) to the side so it can lean against the back wall, for lateral stability.
Lol...

mad1.jpg


.
 

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  • #4,416
They showed us this one in safety training at work. The caption is, can you spot anything that they are doing right?

forklift-follies.jpg
 

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  • #4,417
gmax137 said:
They showed us this one in safety training at work. The caption is, can you spot anything that they are doing right?

View attachment 221979
Yep, the man who took the picture has been probably sufficiently far away. But in the picture: nothing at all, but the what's-wrong-list is pretty long.
 
  • #4,418
Well, no one is directly under the elevated load (something I learned working on ships).
 
  • #4,419
Man: Your makeup isn't looking good.
Woman: I haven't put any makeup today.
Man: Your Genetic Makeup.
 
  • #4,420
BillTre said:
Well, no one is directly under the elevated load (something I learned working on ships).
Also, I think there are "this way up" arrows on the boxes which are pointing up. They're probably filled with boxes with arrows pointing down...
 
  • #4,421
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. It's swaying and wobbling around, obviously not well, and suddenly keels over dead on the floor. The man quickly turns round to leave, and the barman calls after him: "Hey - you can't leave that lying on the floor like that!" And the man says: "It's a giraffe, not a lion!"
 
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  • #4,422
What do you call a dumb atom?

A Boron.
 
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  • #4,423
This is from another thread (I couldn't help not bringing it in Lame Jokes):
Mark44 said:
One day, Fred noticed that the faucet in his kitchen sink was leaking, so he called a plumber to come fix his faucet.

When Joe the plumber arrived, he inspected the scene, and began taking the faucet apart. After about 20 minutes, the plumber replaced a couple of faucet washers, and put the faucet back together. Joe then presented his bill to Fred.

Fred: "What, $2000 for less than a half hour of work! That's outrageous! I'm a medical doctor, and even I don't make that much money!"

Joe replied, "Yeah, I didn't either when I was a doctor, so I took up plumbing."
 
  • #4,424
In post #4407...
davenn said:
another reason why ...
ladders.jpg

This actually doesn't look all that unsafe to me, provided that the smaller (blue) ladder is firmly attached to the long ladder. Most of the man's weight would be directed down the long ladder, and a small fraction of it would be the horizontal component directed to the side via the blue ladder. With someone at the bottom to keep the long ladder from slipping sideways, the system would be pretty stable, IMO.

Unlike the ladder on the truck held up by 2 x 4's (post #4411) or the forklift holding a second forklift in post #4414.
 

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  • #4,425
continuing the ladder theme...

tree-ladder-fail.jpg
 

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  • #4,426
If life gives you a lemon ...
... ask for salt and tequila!

I've bought lemons to fight the flu ...
... hope the tequila works.
 
Last edited:
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  • #4,429
davenn said:
continuing the ladder theme...

View attachment 222212
As with many posts on this thread, although for slightly different reasons, I'm not sure the "like" button is strictly appropriate for this...
 
  • #4,430
Ibix said:
As with many posts on this thread, although for slightly different reasons, I'm not sure the "like" button is strictly appropriate for this...
At least it contains a lot of physics: force diagrams, centre of gravity, stable and unstable equilibrium, torque to come, and in the last one also short circuits, free fall.
 
  • #4,431
fresh_42 said:
It's only closed, can't you just copy what you need and post it, e.g. under Science Jokes?
Nah, that one definitely belonged on this thread. Anyway, you shouldn't let Borg jokes spread across more than one thread. Sci-fi techno-zombies can be hard to get rid of once they're dug in.
 
  • #4,432
fresh_42 said:
and in the last one also short circuits
Yes, I was wondering about those cables in the foreground too. Power or telephone, do you think?
 
  • #4,433
My guess is power lines, because they are so many of them and rather thick, but I'm not very experienced. Both are underground here.
 
  • #4,434
Root beers are far better if drunk from a square mug!
 
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  • #4,435
Ibix said:
As with many posts on this thread, although for slightly different reasons, I'm not sure the "like" button is strictly appropriate for this...
fresh_42 said:
At least it contains a lot of physics: force diagrams, centre of gravity, stable and unstable equilibrium, torque to come, and in the last one also short circuits, free fall.
if you have never done it, and want some entertainment, google "ladder fails" the images and video clips are ... well OH&S would have a heart attack hahaha
 
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  • #4,436
64d.png


StackOverflowException :biggrin:
 

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  • #4,437
Psinter said:
View attachment 222308

StackOverflowException :biggrin:
That joke is impossible to understand without first understanding the joke in #4434.
 
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  • #4,438
Ibix said:
That joke is impossible to understand without first understanding the joke in #4434.
This joke is a member of the genus canis. The species is called Canis Lupus Infinitus. Another reason to prefer members of Felis.
 
  • #4,439
fresh_42 said:
Root beers are far better if drunk from a square mug!
But cube mugs hold more.
 
  • #4,440
Only if the mug is larger than one.
 
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