Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Was that "big trouble in little china"?

Yes. Took me a while to figure out, but , yes.

 

[BillTre]

Was that "big trouble in little china"?

Yes:



Kurt Russel does a kind of stupid John Wayne.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

I have a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

 

[Mark44]

If we use the stimulus money to buy baby chickens, does that mean we got our money for nothing, and our chicks for free?

 

[fresh_42]

We definitely need a new icon!

 

[Bystander]

We definitely need a new icon!

For the likes/doubts?

 

[DrGreg]

I have a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

The pencil was invented in Pencilvania.

 

[phinds]

The pencil was invented in Pencilvania.

More and more we need the howling wolf icon

 

[fresh_42]

"Oh, soup with little stars!"
"Nope. Only password protected alphabet soup."

 

[davenn]

Ha -- Mildly Amusing

HaHa -- Funny

HaHaHa -- Sarcastic Laugh

Hahahaha -- Staying Alive

 

[WWGD]

I put on different clothes when my car broke down. I changed attire to change a tire.

 

[phinds]

AGAIN the howling wolf is needed

 

[WWGD]

AGAIN the howling wolf is needed

Warren Zevon says they are in London.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

She accused me of lying when I was drinking my beer:
"You said you were sick!"
"No, I said I have a case of Corona"

 

[WWGD]

Quentin Quarantino planning his next movie in full isolation.

 

[jack action]

 

[gmax137]

We definitely need a new icon!
View attachment 262373

More and more we need the howling wolf icon

Here you go

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

From a tshirt: Can a peach can a peach?

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 262563​

It doesn't work that way:

 

[phinds]

From a tshirt: Can a peach can a peach?

Hm. That's a good question. I wonder can preserves preserve preserves?

 

[Ibix]

Hm. That's a good question. I wonder can preserves preserve preserves?

Yes, if they jam them into a jar.

 

[jbriggs444]

Yes, if they jam them into a jar.

If you slam the door into the jamb then it is ajar.

 

[WWGD]

Buying by phone after Covid:

...
Address? ...
Card Number? ...
Expiration Date? WHAT!?? Ah, for the card.

 

[Klystron]

From a tshirt: Can a peach can a peach?

Can of peas, canapes.

Paraphrase from Mario Puzo's "The Godfather".

 

[WWGD]

Can of peas, canapes.

Paraphrase from Mario Puzo's "The Godfather".

I really miss Miss Miss(issippi).

Always thought it would be a good idea to collect all these into acshort, bizarre play.

 

[Klystron]

Heard of the thefts in New England at the famous This Crooked House Restaurant?

Non-pareil capers non-parrallel capers at the unparalleled Cape.

 

[WWGD]

Heard of the thefts in New England at the famous This Crooked House Restaurant?

Non-pareil capers non-parrallel capers at the unparalleled Cape.

View attachment 262587

I also like the triple-syllable ones: The banana narrative.

 

[Klystron]

I also like the triple-syllable ones: The banana narrative.

Do you mean the boycott of the Australian actor from not publishing marriage announcements from yellow fruit? (Deep breath...)

Ban Bana's banal bans on banana bans! Ban Bana's bans bans!

 

[WWGD]

Do you mean the boycott of the Australian actor from not publishing marriage announcements from yellow fruit? (Deep breath...)

Ban Bana's banal bans on banana bans! Ban Bana's bans bans!

Isn't there a recent song " Banana u nana" ..My heart is in Havana ...or something?

 

[DrGreg]

What do you call a man with four planks of wood on his head?

I don't know but Edward Woodward would.

 

[Keith_McClary]

"I hate to have to tell you this", said the Doctor in a sad compassionate voice, "but you have been unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease, we will have to quarantine you and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna." "That's terrible!" Said the distraught young man, quickly sitting down before he could faint. "I don't know if I could handle being in quarantine...and the cheese and bologna diet... What's with the cheese and bologna diet anyway? I've never of such a diet before?!" "It's not exactly a diet", responded the Doctor matter of factly, "it's just the only food that will fit under the door!"

 

[WWGD]

What do you call a man with four planks of wood on his head?

I don't know but Edward Woodward would.

I'm an Edward Woodward Would-Working Workshop Worshipper*. So I wood/would know.

*This is what teenage girls refer to as Ewwwww!

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

 

[WWGD]

Trashing my self-image:
Website: Choose a Password
Me: MyPenis
Website: Password too short!

 

[jack action]

Spoiler: Animated GIF

source: https://gif15.videosgifs.com/2020/05/09/comiendo-a-escondida/​

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: Animated GIF

not there

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler

 

[jack action]

not there

That's weird! I see it in Firefox (even in @davenn & @fresh_42 posts), but not in Chrome or Tor!

 

[fresh_42]

That's weird! I see it in Firefox (even in @davenn & @fresh_42 posts), but not in Chrome or Tor!

I copied it from your BB code to make it visible in an extra tab, and as dave complaint I posted what I still had in the buffer - using chrome.

 

[DrGreg]

That's weird! I see it in Firefox (even in @davenn & @fresh_42 posts), but not in Chrome or Tor!

Initially I couldn't see GIFs in any of the posts here, just a placeholder icon. I'm using Firefox.

Then I clicked on the link that has now been added, and I could view the GIF on its own website.

But then I came back here and could see the GIF in the posts here. I guess that's because the image is now cached on my machine.