Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #4,381
fresh_42 said:
... or throw covertly condoms or pregnancy tests in a shopping cart of a couple.
Or a teenage girl shopping with her mother?
 
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  • #4,382
Borg said:
Or a teenage girl shopping with her mother?
I think father would be more efficient, but mother might work as well.
 
  • #4,383
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing
 
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  • #4,384
I-Love-Maths2 said:
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing
That's amazing! Ask her for the symbol for coefficient of friction.
 
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  • #4,385
Ibix said:
That's amazing! Ask her for the symbol for coefficient of friction.
I once had one who was a pro in stochastic. Unfortunately she only knew one distribution.
Hump%20Day.png

(Source: http://denverpetsupply.net/blog/7204/Hump-Day)
 

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  • #4,387
Surgeon to Mr. Smith (who just had a demanding surgery performed to him):
"Mr. Smith, I'm really sorry, we're going to have to operate on you again tomorrow!"
(Smith:) What!? Why? No way!
(Surgeon:) I'm really sorry Mr. Smith! Unfortunatelly we forgot a pair of plastic surgical gloves inside you! ...
(Smith:) What!? I don't get it! And why? Is that too big of a deal to just charge my account for an extra $1 and buy new ones?!
 
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  • #4,388
What do you call an 800lb gorilla with a machine gun?

Sir.

What do you call a deaf gorilla?

Anything you like - gorillas can't read lips.
 
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  • #4,389
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is an animal that weighs over a ton. A Zippo is a little lighter.
 
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  • #4,390
Mark44 said:
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is an animal that weighs over a ton. A Zippo is a little lighter.
an oldie but a goodie, makes me giggle every time :smile:
 
  • #4,391
cut off by a red sports car.jpg
 

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  • #4,392
if you know.jpg
 

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  • #4,393
davenn said:
View attachment 221560
Seems familiar! ... But please help me out here. Perhaps it's just that dementia starting! ...

Mark44 said:
a little lighter
"a little lighter"? ... or just a lighter?
 
  • #4,394
Stavros Kiri said:
"a little lighter"? ... or just a lighter?
Apparently you didn't get it ...
 
  • #4,395
Mark44 said:
Apparently you didn't get it ...
Don't be so sure. I just gave a different angle ...
 
  • #4,396
Mark44 said:
Apparently you didn't get it ...

Stavros Kiri said:
Don't be so sure. I just gave a different angle ...
A "different angle" that completely misses and detracts from the joke. Changing the punch line to "just a lighter" loses the play on words that "a little lighter has."
 
  • #4,397
Mark44 said:
A "different angle" that completely misses and detracts from the joke. Changing the punch line to "just a lighter" loses the play on words that "a little lighter has."
Your joke is still there, and I liked it!
 
  • #4,398
29025422_160669974635710_2618813127134806016_n.jpg
 

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  • #4,399
Huh.
I thought he had 2 brothers - Raymond being the only actor.
The second, younger, ended up working in a tire factory, and worked his way up.
His name, would you know it, was Rob.
:rolleyes:
 
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  • #4,400
256bits said:
His name, would you know it, was Rob.

I heard he worked at a bank. Only for a day though.
 
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  • #4,401
Don't forget his sister... De. . o_O . :-p
 
  • #4,402
That reminds me of the armed robber, whose relatives were all armed police officers.

He died recently, surrounded by his family.Joke credit: Milton Jones
 
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  • #4,403
OCR said:
Don't forget his sister... De. . o_O . :-p

De Burr?
 
  • #4,404
Drakkith said:
De Burr?
.
:check:
 
  • #4,405
Are these jokes?
 
  • #4,406
@OCR I'm not sure I get it.

Stavros Kiri said:
Are these jokes?

The are absolutely most likely possibly jokes.
 
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  • #4,407
Drakkith said:
possibly
Potentially, in a modal sense, there's a chance that everything could likely, probably, be a joke to somebody, at some point with a certain probability corroborated against to/versus a certain degree of certainty, providing also, at that particular moment, that the particular person actually really gets the joke ... !
[And I have no clue for the ~ last 7 posts ... but that's ok ... it's still fun! ...]
 
  • #4,408
Drakkith said:
OCR I'm not sure I get it.
Yes, it's lame... . :oops:
 
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  • #4,409
another reason why ...

ladders.jpg
 

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  • #4,410
davenn said:
another reason why ...

View attachment 221901
Yeah. They really need another stepladder cable-tied (!) to the side so it can lean against the back wall, for lateral stability.
 

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