Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

that's sad little bit

maybe ?
but it completely reminds me of the Rolling Stones

 

[fresh_42]

maybe ?
but it completely reminds me of the Rolling Stones

... and Tina Turner! And the Boss isn't far away either. And Lemmy quasi died on stage.

 

[phinds]

maybe ?
but it completely reminds me of the Rolling Stones

It sure does. And speaking of the Rolling Stones, did you hear about the crazy guy who jumped on stage at one of their concerts and tried to kill both Mick Jagger and Keith Richards with a frozen chicken?

Turns out he wasn't crazy at all, he was trying to test his hypothesis that you could kill two stones with one bird.

 

[wrobel]

and Tina Turner!

o yes and Tina Turner from my youth too and Scorpions and Metallica :)

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

Looks like she keeps her upper eyelids just below the top of her pupils.

 

[DaveC426913]

GenX-ers: Lidding their eyes and 'meh'ing in fits of ennui before Millennials made it cool.

 

[davenn]

View attachment 276190​

Looks like she keeps her upper eyelids just below the top of her pupils.

she looks totally stoned

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

she looks totally stoned

Guess that's why she looks hungry.

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 276159

And revert back to 2020?

 

[davenn]

And revert back to 2020?

hell no haha
something earlier 2018/2019. sort of like going back from Win8 to XP

 

[BillTre]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[sysprog]

View attachment 276306

The players or the dogs? The way the sentence is written that's unclear. Maybe not use hot spurs on dogs?

 

[fresh_42]

QPR are the better Londoners!

 

[Jarvis323]

I sent ten puns to my friend hoping that they would make him laugh. But no pun in ten did.

Is this cheating?

https://lamejokes.org/jokes/1613

 

[WWGD]

Chickens or puppies

 

[WWGD]

Don't mess with the chocolate milk today

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

We have a new professor at our college, starting his second career after retiring from Starfleet:

 

[mfb]

Did the college become significant after collecting Data?

Data, analysis is ongoing a course you can attend?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[rtareen]

Something I just made up:

I like my music like I like my physics - classical.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

Those states where Amazon has been approved for drone package delivery now have local NRA branches advertising to their members --- skeet shooting with prizes.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 276610

Looks more like the local firewood rental agency.

 

[fresh_42]

When you hear the captain saying: "Hello, here speaks your captain ..." on your next flight, just call out loud "What? Is he already allowed to flay again?"

 

[strangerep]

"Is he already allowed to flay again?"

...and for 1st class passengers who purchased our premium BDSM package: your captain will be attending to you shortly...

 

[phinds]

If you youngsters think you're smarter than the older generation, consider this: 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today's owner's manuals warn you not to drink the contents of the battery. What generation do you think caused them to put that in?

 

[WWGD]

If you youngsters think you're smarter than the older generation, consider this: 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today's owner's manuals warn you not to drink the contents of the battery. What generation do you think caused them to put that it?

I remember seeing instructions in underwear. Wow! It turns out it was for washing them.

 

[Keith_McClary]

instructions in underwear. Wow! It turns out it was for washing them.

Do not iron.

 

[WWGD]

Do not iron.

Too late. What now?

 

[wrobel]

View attachment 276547

I thought this picture is about education of guys who neglect the parking rules and block other cars. In Moscow it is a widespread education technology