Collection of Lame Jokes

[Stavros Kiri]

In that case, glue another arm on...

And then it flies! ... If

Spoiler

taken on the Space Station

 

[Ibix]

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2...

 

[davenn]

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2...

that one passes me by

 

[Ibix]

that one passes me by

(I don't think it's particular to Spongebob, by the way. That's just the first link I found.)

 

[Klystron]

that one passes me by

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2...

In small bands the drummer traditionally sets the tempo and beat to lead the next number. Along with tapping the edge of a drum she/he will chant in unison with the tapping, "And a one, and a two, and a ...". Music ensues.

[This has been attributed to several influential American jazz drummers but drums with chants were used to time cannon fire on post 15th C. warships and to time oars on ancient rowing vessels such as the Vikings used; the latter documented by Irish monks in the famous manuscript titled Jazz, jazz, and More Jazz by medieval jazzman Thelonious Monk. ]

 

[davenn]

thanks guys
I should have known that, having played music since I was a kid

I'll put it down to too early Monday morning haha

 

[jtbell]

Have you heard of the new parade crew in New Orleans that does synchronized drills with lawnmowers?

It's called "Mardi Grass."

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

When I see names of couples in bark, I do not think "oh sweet," but "weird, whoever takes a knife to a date ..."

 

[davenn]

View attachment 239137

yeah, I have that problem

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 239112

Hahahahaha ... Me too!
Wait! It is Friday!

View attachment 239137

yeah, I have that problem

Me too! Yup! "seafood diet", all day, all the time! ...

 

[davenn]

hahahaha

 

[256bits]

That just goes to show you the lax privacy measures and intrusion.
Totally laxative , if you ask me.
Especially when the Captain was making a personal log entry, that happens.

 

[BillTre]

Saw this elsewhere:

Pun enters room, kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

With my poor hearing and the wife talking to me from a room or two away, this is me

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

"What shall we cook?"

"Something fast."

"A cheetah?"

 

[256bits]

Back to cooking. yes. And music.

One should need to know the difference between an onion and a banjo ( to become a great chef )

No one cries when you cut up a banjo.

 

[jack action]

If you drop a soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

 

[DrClaude]

If you drop a soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-11-24

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 239454

"How much is it?"
"Installed or not?"

 

[Stavros Kiri]

If you drop a soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

None. Just the floor slippery! ...

 

[davenn]

I studied a lot for my blood test. I got A+

 

[Ibix]

I studied a lot for my blood test. I got A+

I got O.

 

[davenn]

I got O.

awwww

 

[Mark44]

If you drop a soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

Yes

 

[Mark44]

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2...

(I don't think it's particular to Spongebob, by the way. That's just the first link I found.)

Lawrence Welk was a bandleader who had a TV show here in the US for years from the 50s all the way into the 80s. He was very famous for always starting the band off with "And a 1 and a 2 ..."